Author's note:
I shouldn't upload when sleepy! Sorry for the confusion. I uploaded to the wrong story yesterday
The way out of the enchanted valley wasn't a difficult hike and the weather, just like the weather of the Temple, was pleasant and mild. All along the small trail were wonders Linarra wished they could have stopped to look at. Beautiful sculptures of what she assumed were the Aspects. There were more than nine. She counted twelve.
Linarra wanted to ask, but every time she'd asked Veshier a question, he'd snapped at her. Staring at Sahimul's back as he walked, she remembered that he was the Aspect of Forbidden Knowledge. At least, that's what scripture said.
"There are more than nine Aspects," she told him. It wasn't a question. She just couldn't bring herself to ask questions. Feeling stupid, she pressed her lips shut and frowned, staring instead at the ground as they walked.
"There -were-," he responded, not stopping or slowing. "Things happen, though. Now there are nine. Since I don't count anymore, apparently."
His tone was so childish, petulant. It annoyed her a little. "Yes, well. You shouldn't have defied the Mother."
The Usurper stopped so abruptly, she nearly ran into him. He spun to face her, eyes wild, his anger sizzling along the bond and stealing her breath. "Why do you want to wound me?" he asked, his voice low, dangerous. "Do you enjoy it? My pain?"
Mutely, she shook her head.
Though he wasn't much taller than she was, it felt like he towered over her. He got too close, his breath on her face. He smelled good, she thought. It was an odd thought to have when an angry god stared you down. She swallowed and tried not to flush, but she felt the heat creep into her face anyway.
"You do!" he exclaimed softly. "I can feel you enjoying it. You want to punish me. Don't you think being sealed in stone for thousands of years is punishment enough?"
Linarra shrugged, annoyed that the bond broadcasted every single feeling as though she waved around a flag. Besides, she didn't think she enjoyed his suffering. It wasn't that. She just...enjoyed him. Everything about him. That it was wrong and forbidden only made it better. She had to be honest with herself. It was her weakness. The darkness inside her drawn to him like the moths were drawn to the light of the moon.
"I don't know," she answered honestly. "I don't know what you did."
He looked as though she'd slapped him. He looked and felt well and truly wounded by her answer. "You...don't know?"
"I have no idea. The scripture doesn't say. The words of Ishahn simply say that you defied the will of the Mother and were setting about to destroy the world. It was only Ishahn's act of sealing you in stone that stopped you."
He took in a deep breath and sighed. "Of course it doesn't say. And frankly? I doubt Ishahn wrote anything. She was illiterate." He didn't say it with distaste. He just stated it.
"Of course you'll say the teachings are all a lie. Why wouldn't you? I keep...falling into the trap of just stupidly believing you. You're a liar. A deceiver. You're trying to lead me astray." Linarra got in his face this time, tired of being tugged around. She had no agency. No say in anything.
He didn't balk or back down. He seemed to enjoy the proximity. She did too, but wasn't in the mood to admit it to herself. "I'm trying to GIVE you something!" he shouted in her face.
This time, she didn't even flinch. It was just noise. She felt no malice towards her in the bond at all. "What if I don't want your gifts?"
He smirked. "Oh. You do. I know you do."
She had half a heart beat's warning when he leaned in and quickly stole a kiss. Linarra sputtered and stumbled back.
"It's funny. The more you resist it, the more you want it. But if you want to play that little game, we can play. I've played it before. And I always win in the end, by the way."
She glowered at him, not wanting to hear of his previous conquests, feeling sour and jealous even though they were all with women thousands of years dead. Ridiculous, she told herself. She hated it. All of it.
The Usurper only laughed and started walking again, past old structures, statues, little courtyards with gardens and fountains. It was such a beautiful place and as they kept going, the trail became overgrown and the air became cold, the trees had no leaves and the blossoms seemed a thousand years away. It was tempting, to stay forever. To indulge and give in and just let herself fall. It was a soft poison.
She kept walking, just letting herself fantasize about a life she'd never have in the valley of the Aspect of Love. Why couldn't they stay? They'd be lovers. It would be inevitable if they stayed there. She imagined asking him a thousand questions, imagined how he'd be after they'd known each other for years. It almost made her cry, though she wasn't sure why.
Finally, he stopped walking, just as she'd hurt her own feelings, chest aching for all the things that would never happen.
They stood before a stone wall that was at least fifteen feet tall. They couldn't scale it. But there, under dead brambles and vines was a gilded door, a gate. She reached out to open it, to grab the ivory handles and tug.
Sahimul slapped her hands away. Stung, she glowered at him.
"They're enchanted," he explained. "Had you touched them, it's quite likely you'd die."
"Wonderful," she muttered, rubbing her stining hands. "Can you open it, then?"
He shrugged, lofting his brow. "I -can-, but it will hurt. It's meant to keep me out, naturally. Or keep me in. Either way. Ishahn wasn't the only one intent on sealing me away and trapping me."
"What's on the other side? Can't we go around or something?"
"We can't. We'd have to go back through the Mountain. I'd rather not. What I want is on the other side of that gate. It's for you. You should have it. Maybe it will help in your little quest."
"Your redemption is a little quest now?"
"Yes, because it's stupid and impossible. But I'm bound to help you try, I suppose." He squinted at the gate, canting his head at it. "I am hesistent to try. It will only -hurt- me. I don't know what it will do to you."
"Maybe we should go back through the Mountain," she said, taking a step back. It didn't appeal to her, whatever this plan was. Yes, she was intrigued. He wanted to give her something. Maybe it was wonderous. But likely it was terrible. A trick.
"I'm not keen," he said. "You said the world has changed. I guarantee you, the world on the other side of this gate has not. And one of my creations...is there. I have to get rid of it," he said.
"If I die, you'll...probably die too. Or be hurt. Far worse than you've ever been hurt," she warned.
He gave her a flat look. "I'm aware. And even if there wasn't this ridiculous bond...I don't know why you think I'm so set on killing you. I don't want to kill you. You haven't -done- anything to me. At worst, you're an annoying pest."
It hurt. She knew he didn't mean it as bad as it sounded. She felt it. But she was tired of people just casually hurting her. Tired of not mattering much.
"Go ahead," she said, tone as black as her mood. "I'm not scared." And she wasn't really. The moment that gate was open, everything would change. They would officially be on the run. The Brotherhood, the Temple. Maybe even Veshier. She wondered if he would join the Temples soldiers in hunting her down. He was a man of duty and honor, so she supposed he would. She didn't expect anything less.
"So dramatic, Linarra," Sahimul quipped, using her name. It sent an illicit thrill through her despite herself.
But he was scared. For her. She could feel it as he touched the handles of the gate. As his hands curled around them, she could feel his trepidation. It was only a breath before the pain coursed through her. It was so intense, just a red wave of agony, that she couldn't tell where it started.
She screamed, but the whine and ring in her ears made her deaf to her own cries. It flashed her vision white and dropped her to the ground. It felt as though the blood in her veins had been replaced with fire and her skin and bones were melting from the intensity and the heat.
Linarra didn't know how long it went on. It could have been seconds or hours. She became a wild animal, writhing in pain with no rational thought. She'd curled in on herself, sobbing and screaming. She kept crying out long after the pain had faded. It was gone, but it's phantoms haunted her. She'd never experienced agony quite like that.
Fully expecting to find herself on the cold ground, she was surprised when she came to enough to feel the Usurper holding her gently, smoothing her damp hair back from her sweaty forehead.
"I'm sorry," he murmured, sincerely. He held her like she was a child or like she was made of glass. She let him.
"I'm all right," she told him, her voice shaky.
"No need to be brave. We can rest a moment." He continued to smooth her hair.
All she needed was that little permission. She hadn't felt brave this entire time. She'd felt abjectly terrified since she'd started on the Path. Alone, even when with Veshier. She just needed someone to tell her it was all right to feel that way. That she didn't have to shove it down and suck it up.
Linarra cried against his chest, holding onto him, her hand fisting in his shirt.
Sahimul didn't shame her or tell her to stop. He simply held her and said soft, comforting things. Things she hadn't had said since early childhood. Things she'd desperately needed for such a long time.
"Ishahn suffered so much," he told her. "No matter how I tried to ease that suffering. The best always seem to have heavier burdens. It isn't fair."
He didn't tell her she was weak or unworthy. He said she was one of the best. In the same breath as the Prophet. It tore her to pieces. It hurt, the validation. It hurt that it came from him. Then she felt shame that she denigrated the nice things he said simply because of who he was.
She turned her face up to look at him, still cradled by his arms. Her hand still held onto his shirt as though he were the last refuge in a storm. Linarra wanted to kiss him again.
He looked down at her, as though she'd said it out loud. "You have to stop that," he told her gently. "You chide me when I act on...your own feelings. I'm going to do it again if you keep...thinking about it."
"You don't really want to," she said. "It's just this bond. It makes you want to."
He cocked a brow at her, his fiery gaze burning into her, making her feel small, caught. "So...without the bond...you wouldn't want me?"
She just assumed it was the bond. She hadn't thought of it deeply. Looking at him, it didn't feel magically induced. He was so beautiful. Divine. Profane. "I...would still," she confessed, unsure if it were true. It felt true. "But that doesn't make it right."
Sahimul leaned down and pressed a chaste kiss to her forehead. "How do you know, Little Priestess? Is it in your scripture?"
She laughed, genuinely amused. "Absolutely. Consorting with the Usurper is forbidden. Very frowned upon."
He laughed too and disentangled himself, helping her to her feet. "A puzzle for another day, then," he said, gesturing to the now wide open gate. "I was successful. Their spells are pathetic. Weak."
"Whose spells?" she asked, peering through the gate. She saw a gilded plain with green trees and a soft, blue sky.
"The Elves, of course."
"But...I thought they were all...gone. Liriel was the only one left. That's what she said anyway."
His expression darkened. He didn't comment. "Let's go," he told her, offering his hand.
Linarra took it and let him lead her through the gate.