I became one with the silence, and silence became me. Literally and figuratively. Broken, aloof, unable to speak , and trapped in my own world, I didn't have the will to get out of bed anymore, nor the desire to talk or do the simplest of things like drink a cup of water or open the window shades. All what I wanted was to sink in that hospital bed, shielding and isolating myself from the ghastly , horrible reality that awaits me . I hated my life, but I couldn't say that I didn't hate myself more. I took pity upon the fact that not only have I failed to listen to my mother and be a good daughter but I also didn't know who my father is, nor did I wish to ever find out who he was. Even if he was alive, meeting him now wouldn't make a difference in my life., I thought. It will just add more salt to the wound. Some things are better left kept as they are , and I fervently wished my father's departure without coming back or asking about us to be one of those things : a distant memory from what could have been.
To put it in simple terms, I have grown past my father ever coming back. It wasn't worth putting myself through that decade-long trauma again.
Alas, I was afraid that this meant that I broke my promise to mother, which is heartbreaking. I guess I have to add "Mommy's pretty little liar" to my long list of personal violations.
Ironic. I would always be the one to cheer Mom up when she is feeling down. I would be supporting and encouraging her to stand on her feet every day by doing the chores at home myself and learning how to cook so that I would make dinner for myself when she had to take overnight shifts in an effort to pay off our loans and debts to continue my education.
My mother was a role-model for not just being a single mother, but a compassionate strong woman who gave back to her community. She nursed seniors who suffered from Alzheimer's and dementia at retirement homes for 25 years, all while juggling between other minor part-time jobs and checking back with me every day.
Our life wasn't too hard, I admit, but we had our fair share of difficult times. However, we endured them all TOGETHER and we managed.
Now, there I was : all alone, bed-ridden, and guilty. The chains of loneliness were as cold as the chilling white-tiled corridors and icy lime walls surrounding the hospital rooms. My hospital room's window reflected an image that wasn't reminiscent of me, but of my disgraceful , cold-blooded self. Losing my mother really was the end of the world to me.
"If this is what it truly means to be a Kinetic Phaser, then I wish I was never born." I would say to myself while staring into the blinding lights of my room.
If it weren't for the comforting nurses (one of whom looked so much like mother I almost got a heart attack when I saw her) , the hard-working Doctor Macmillan , Harper , and the kind Akiya Shinichi , who rushed to the hospital after hearing about my mother's death as fast as she could and immediately took custody of being my guardian without any reluctance. She was a childhood friend of my mother and knew her from the time they were in the same poor neighborhood in the hectic slums corner of Bracnia city. They did everything together and Akita lived right next to Mom, so they were practically raised in the same household. I also knew her well. In fact, she visited us at our home a few days before the warehouse explosion. She babysat me when I was still a toddler , so I came to call her "Auntie" instinctively.
A few hours after the explosion happened, I was taken to the Bracnia National Medical Center Hospital. Doctor Macmillan, the pulmonologist in charge at the time, told my Auntie that I was in need of reconstructive surgery for the 3rd degree burns I suffered in my throat, trachea, bronchi, and lungs due to the airborne particulate residue , smoke fumes and ash released during the fire.
However , I was woken up 3 hours later to find out that , according to the doctor , they all healed completely and "miraculously" halfway into the surgery. The doctor told me the whole surgical team was baffled and were still investigating to find out what happened. I was put temporarily on ventilator.
I pondered if it had something to do with my air abilities. As crazy as it sounded , I thought may be the air somehow healed my skin. Though, I wasn't conscious , much like what happened back at the warehouse. But I do remember gasping for air after.
The next morning, I underwent some MRI scans and I had no more burns or internal bleeding in my whole respiratory system .
Given that the doctors have never encountered this before with a normal person before, I was convinced they figured out I was a phaser. Yet, to my surprise, Dr.Macmillan told me the hospital put the investigation on hold and agreed to let me stay for around a week before I left to make sure there were no complications. Though the hospital would still charge me for the surgery. However , my medical insurance couldn't cover the full costs. Just when I thought my day couldn't get any better. But that's when Dr.Macmillan said,
"Hmm, that's strange. I just received a notification that your surgery costs were paid. But it wasn't from your insurance money. It seems someone special who knows you deposited the money directly from the bank." said Dr.Macmillan.
For precautionary measures, I was told to not speak until the doctor felt it was okay, so I would just move my eyes and eyebrows to express myself. Here, I only raised them. An hour later, my Auntie came back and brought me a flowrr bouquet that said, "Get Well soon!"
Poor Auntie Akiya, who was shaken up to her core through the whole ordeal, also didn't know the truth about my father or my powers. She was yet another victim of my mother's protective lie. I thought that the stories my mother told me about those "Kinetic Phasers" being monsters were true. The news outlets and the media, all of these, including my mother's determination, convinced me to stay out from those "freaks". Turns out, I was one myself. I was just too blind to see it. I was brainwashed. My whole life was built on a lie. Was Mom ever planning on telling me the truth anytime soon? Didn't I deserve to know it? I never asked for any of this to happen.
To have a "dad" who doesn't even care to ask about his daughter or check on her for the last 17 years or so, to be bullied in class for that same reason and be called "fatherless" , to be constantly criticized for the smallest of mistakes , and NOW, being a victim of a kidnapping and a bombing and losing my mother on the same day ? That's too much for one person to handle: it's as if I was cursed to have the worst always happen to me.
Isn't all that enough? My Aunt tried to comfort me, but nothing worked.
"It will be alright sweetie. I won't leave you. I know how hard it is to lose someone close to you. I will cherish your mother's memory, and I will protect you and take care of you like my own children. You are my treasure. You are all that remains of someone I called and will always call 私の姉 (my sister) , and I will make sure to never lose you."
5 days have passed since my Mom's passing, but the last words of her letter still echoed and rang in my ears like a bell : "soaring high and mighty like an ethereal dove." If my mother knew I possessed these powers from the beginning, why didn't she tell me? Was it because she was scared the government would find out? If so, and dad knew about it, then why did he leave ? Why didn't he take us with him ? Is dad alive ? Is he actually somewhere out there , alive and doing well ? If he was, why didn't he warn me ? That was the least he could do to the "special" daughter he abandoned. Was it too dangerous for him to take us with him? Also, why now? Why after all these years?! Why are these CURSED powers appearing for the first time and why can't I remember anything of how I used them?! Is it somehow connected to my trauma from the blast ?
A day later, Harper paid me a visit and blasted through my room with full force (*Sighs* some things just never change), and acting so high and mighty, she struck a pose with her thick fur winter coat and star-stripped necklace. She held out a fancy letter decorated and lavished with gold and silver glitter. Apparently, they were the real thing! Actual gold and silver glitter! The over-the-top things that girl does never cease to impress me! I love her for them. Harper wasn't and isn't like your typical rich girl. She certainly never flaunted her riches. Not in front me for sure. And she did and still works so hard to share her moments of success and happiness with me.
I am proud she is my friend. I hoped that I was not the one letting her down though because I felt like I was being more of a parasite than an actual friend by always needing constant support and attention from her and those around me. It was insanely aggravating!
Anyways, Auntie took the letter and unfolded it to reveal a credit card filled with 300,000 Zanters.
I and my Auntie were left astounded.
"What this is? I can't believe my eyes! Why? We don't deserve this. It is too much! I really don't know how I can thank you!" said Akiya.
"No need to thank me Mrs.Akiya. It took me a lot of convincing, I confess. But Fuyu is very dear to me, and we are like family, and with her Mother's passing, this is the least we can do. Girls got to stick together. Well, friends to be more precise." said Harper, winking her eyes at me.
"Aw, come here, Harper" my Aunt said.
We all had one big, heartwarming hug.
It was then that I realized, Harper persuaded her father,The Entrepreneur & CEO of NovaTech (a.k.a Tristen Collins) , to pay all of my surgery bills that Dr.Macmillan told me earlier about. He also paid the company who owned the warehouse for the financial losses they incurred because of the bombing. When I thought witnessing my mother's death would be the cruelest memory I would have of the world, corporate greed somehow still managed to persist and find away to make my life more miserable.
But damn, Harper. I was literally speechless.
Later at night, I stared at the Bracnian night-sky through the window, deep in thought about what I knew about Phasers.
During the Phaser Purge 35 years ago , Commander Cain's regime was ordered by the courts of law to execute any Phasers after exiling them if they persisted to stay within the country. The Police were also eventually exposed to the corruption from President Cain's administration to the extent that they were bribed to cover any Phasing-related incidents to the public back then. I always wondered how my mother knew that all these conspiracy theories were just attempts to keep the public from knowing too much about the truth. I wasn't sure it was brainwashing on a massive national scale until now. All of these recent kidnappings actually happened. Those missing kids , God forbid what happened to them. I wasn't even surprised anymore after realizing that my "kidnappers" left with no ransom. I also realized why many theorists in Bracnia were silenced once they held onto solid clues. They were eerily close to the truth.
But that didn't matter anymore. I had nothing left to lose. My mother lied to me about my father, and now, at the moment, I failed her too. Maybe , I thought , it would just be better if they snatched me , , mutilated me , and experimented on me in the worst possible way. At least, no one else would be harmed because of my existences, especially my Auntie. It would be mercy served on a golden plate.
But what about Harper? She didn't deserve this. She stood and fought for me when I was scared and afraid and helped me when I was desperate and helpless. She would push me to get on my knees and do my best out there in the world every day. It would be unfair to do this to her. Augh, I was lost.
The next day, I was allowed to leave the hospital for a few hours to attend my mother's funeral , which Mr.Collins , out of pure generosity , also helped to make the proper arrangements. Auntie flooded me and her tissue with tears as she held onto me tightly with her arms.
Ironically, even though I had so much to say, I couldn't muster a single word.
Auntie Akiya told Harper , who also attended the funeral, "I can never repay your kindness nor will I EVER forget this favor from your family, Harper. "Domo arigatogozaimashita (Thank you very much)"
Harper replied, "That is not all, though. I just talked with Doctor Macmillan he said that Fuyu will be discharged tomorrow!"
My Aunt sighed in relief, "Thank goodness! Did you hear that sweetheart? You are finally going to come back with me to your home. Please, Harper, I beg your pardon, but may you inform the doctor that I would like him to make just one last check-up before Fuyu leaves , while I get her a new spare change of clothes?"
"Of course, ma'am, I will." Harper said, with a wide grin on her face. I took one last glance at her abysmal bronze eyes. Never have I ever met a kinder person with an even bigger heart than her.
Since my long week of silence was over, I decided to finally speak my first words since the warehouse incident:
"Arigato, Harper. I am glad to have an awesome friend like you." I proceeded to bow to Harper as she laughed it off, likely because she didn't expect me to speak again.
"Stop it Fuyu! Don't make me flattered!"
But the way I saw it, she was jubilant to see me feeling better.
The next day, during the check-up with Dr.Macmillan, the tv was turned on to the Bracnia News Channel , and apparently , there was word going on the street that the warehouse explosion I was involved in was caused by "Pro-Phasers'' , who sought justice for their lost and exiled beloved ones (The banished and killed phasers during the Purge) .
Why? According to the news, the Pro-Phasers started protesting due to suspicious activity that has been leading up to mysterious disappearances and kidnappings like me.
Then, the Doctor abruptly turned off the tv and told me ,
"Those Pro-Phasers, poor lads, aren't they? Sacrificing their lives for a lost cause: for their cousins, friends, and family members who were gifted with these inimitable abilities. If only there were some kind of symbol to represent them, a symbol of hope they need to avenge their loved ones and light their darkest hour. A friend of mine lost his nephew to those kidnappers; he apparently had the unique ability of controlling the ...'' he was cut off as the nurse called him to go to the ICU (intensive care unit).
"You can go back to your room now, Fuyu." , said another nurse who went with them.
My Aunt was supposed to come in an hour to pick me up from the hospital. As I started changing my clothes and packing my purse, I pondered what the Doctor meant by a "symbol of hope". Did he really believe that people like me have a chance of surviving in a world like this? A world where we are classified according to whether we are "normal" or not. Where would I be now if my Aunt or the hospital staff knew I was a Kinetic Phaser? I haven't told them because of the torture inflicted upon those like me. And they would be in danger too. The government wants to kill us, but the corrupted police won't protect us, and everyone "normal" is afraid of us. Do we deserve all that?
I looked up at the city headlights of Bracnia. I would be lying if I said that the midnight winter skyline wasn't peaceful, enlightening, and full of life. It was snowing and the snowflakes formed a sheet of ice on the glass window. The bold layer of ice glistened brilliantly. However, I felt something was off about my reflection on the stained frosty window. It seemed as if the brightness increased. I stretched out my hand and touched the glass with my palm. It was cold , but the cold suddenly turned into heat. I frowned and pulled back. Maybe it's just me ?
But l still couldn't shake off the feeling that I am being watched. Ever since I arrived at this hospital. The silent, eerie ambiance pleaded for an uneasy reaction from me. As I got closer to the window again, I felt my heart trembling with fear, the ground shaking beneath me, and the crows cawing and clicking on the branch of a leaning pine tree. As I proceeded to pull the window open, I saw a short streak of scarlet light flare before my eyes, and as my brain began to process what that light was, I realized the light was getting closer, more vivid, and hotter.
I blurted , "Oh fu—"
ZAP ! A red streak of light shot through the glass like a stainless steel knife cutting smoothly through butter. I could see myself reminiscing and playing back my whole life's memories. The warmth of the light was sweltering . My disappointing life flashed before my eyes.
A giant, dark figure jumped through the window, making a grand entrance.
"This is it." I thought.
Laying on the ground with my hazy eyes, I could only manage to focus on the blinding light that was about to be fired at me at point-blank range.
This is how the life of Fuyu Miyazaki goes out , anticlimactically.
Abruptly however , the laser bounced off what looked like a mirror attached to a gauntlet and left a scorched mark on the wall behind the dark figure. But the gauntlet .... levitated above the ground?
I got up and rubbed my eyes in disbelief. Something or SOMEONE appeared out of thin air and pushed me away from the dark figure. Whoever it was , I couldn't tell because of how appalling and petrifying the entire situation was.
There was a giant crack in the ceiling . I could hear horrifying screams from above. At that moment, I was overwhelmed and also started crying for help. "CAN ANYBODY HEAR ME?! HELP ME PLEASE! I don't WANT to DIE! PLEASE!"
As I began to call out in fear, the invisible figure grabbed me and blocked a second laser blast from hurting me by pointing the mirror at the beam again. It reflected off and destroyed the glass panes.
"WHO ARE YOU?!'" I screamed.
I didn't pay enough attention to realize that my invisible protector was trying to tell me to move from the Cyclops's aim. Then he grumbled as he blocked a third laser shot using the mirror gauntlet, which shone a bright turquoise color. Unlike the first shot, the second laser beam was absorbed by the gauntlet.
As I recoiled back and ran towards the door, the invisible phaser instantaneously hollered , "DUCK NOW, FUYU!"
I instinctively did so, and simultaneously another LASER shot and BARELY missed my head. It almost lit my hair on fire, but I didn't notice because my mind with preoccupied with the voice of my Invisible Guardian Angel , who revealed himself: Dr.Macmillan.
I gasped as I tried to recollect my breath.
"So You WERE a Phaser this entire time!"
Macmillan replied back saying, "Yes, Fuyu, and I always knew you are,too. Now, listen to what I am about to say. There is no time for introductions.
I have been sent here with help to get you to safety as soon as possible. My allies alerted me minutes ago that we were being watched by our unwanted guest here from the Corporation, Agent Cyclops. I know you still have so many unanswered questions , but you must stay with me to avoid getting others into danger. Only leave when I tell you the coast is clear, got it?!"
I didn't have enough time to process what he just said. So many things were happening at once, my mind was foggy.
Stress was building up inside of me. "Why does this have to keep happening to me? What am I supposed to do? I wish all of this was just a DAMN nightmare!" My eyes welled with tears as I struggled to open the door. I noticed that it was locked. Dr.Macmillan shouted, "NO, Fuyu! NOT NOW! Agh!"
I turned around and as the Cyclops's fist connected with Dr.Macmillan's jaw, the keys fell from Macmillan's coat. He locked the door himself , so I wouldn't get away.
As Macmillan was engaging with the enemy, a tall chunk of muscle 7-foot-sized man wearing a tight black armor, similar to those used by S.W.A.T. teams, I managed to grab the keys and made my way to the door.
Agent Cyclops was also wearing huge velvet visors, which radiated his beams of light. Obviously, he had to be called CYCLOPS for a reason. He punched Macmillan and tanked his hits like he was a ticking time bomb. The doctor, shifting between his physical and invisible forms , was returning as many hits as he could . I wasn't able to decide who was winning. All what I wanted to run away. But I was so baffled, I stood frozen like a statue. I didn't belong here!
Then, I started hearing loud knocks on the door. I could hear my Aunt and Harper yelling out my name.
"FUYU! Are you there?! We heard a loud noise from inside your room! We called the police! Is EVERYTHING okay ?!"
I wish I could yell back and tell them that NOTHING was okay. I didn't know what to do. What can I do? I had to make a decision, yet I don't have the resolve or the courage to do so.
Agent Cyclops and Dr.Macmillan were at a standoff, passing blows back and forth. I didn't even know if Macmillan was even a doctor at this point. The Cyclops was visibly irritated and losing his patience. He accidentally punched the wall so hard his knuckles cracked. Macmillan reappeared and tackled him from behind.
The Cyclops then called out with his booming, menacing voice,
"There's no escape from death for the wicked!" he cackled.
"There's no bastard more wicked here than YOU, Cipher! Such a shame that they turned you into this abomination." replied Macmillan.
Turned out the Cyclops actually had a name after all, Cipher.
He glanced at me and replied,
"That name no longer has any meaning to me. I am what remains. As for you, I can't say anything will remain of you after today. Our chase ends right here. And I will take the girl with me too." said the Cyclops, grinning.
The Cyclops charged his visors and blasted his laser. Macmillan immediately pressed a button, turning on his mirror gauntlet.
SHROOM! Cyclops's laser clashed with Macmillan's gauntlet. It was then that it became a matter of who was strong enough to resist. The laser's coherent light? Or the law of reflection?
Sadly, the power of reflection wasn't our ally here.
The mirror gauntlet started cracking until Macmillan stop the laser anymore.
I wanted to do something, but I just stood there. I was so useless it was maddening.
Finally, Cyclops took two steps forward, increasing the intensity of the laser beam and full destroying Macmillan's gauntlet.
The mirror shattered to pieces , and Macmillan quickly tossed the gauntlet aside and shouted,
"RUN, Fuyu!"
Cyclops calmly said, "Nice try."
He shot another beam. This one was so close to my face, I felt the heat on my cheek.
"Take ONE step forward, and I will melt your face to the bone."
I didn't dare move from my place.
Agent Cyclops turned around but didn't find Macmillan. Ironically, he lost sight of him.
"You can go invisible all you want, Macmillan. But you won't win, I promise you. Not today."
Everything in the next few seconds gone completely silent.
Suddenly I felt something shift in the air.
Out of nowhere, Macmillan leaped at Cyclops with a single shard of glass and SLASHED his visor.
Cyclops growled in rage. His eyes bleeding, the distracted Cyclops grabbed Macmillan and pinned him on the ground.
"You insolent PEST! AUGH! Look what you did to my EYES!! I WILL RIP YOUR HEART OUT!"
I yelped , "NOOOO!"
I gave way to my anger.