A few weeks had passed, and life had, seemingly, returned to normal. I had heard nothing from Alpha Farris in regard to our being mated. But I, also, had not heard anything from Alessa either. I knew that I should not have been upset, I had expected as much. She was now the pack's Beta Female; she had a certain reputation to uphold and fraternizing with the pack's mutt was not going to help her. I was certain that Beta Deene had forbid her from seeing me.
None of this was the worst part though, to be honest, the worst part was the rumors. Somehow, someone had found out that I was claiming to be the Alpha's mate, but they believed my claims to be false. They had spread the lie through the pack that I was making it up to get attention. They said there was absolutely no way that the Moon Goddess would have paired our strong Alpha which a disgrace like myself. I did not bother attempting to stop these vicious falsehoods, I knew that it would only spur the culprits further. It was not as though anyone in the pack would have believed me anyway.
The problem was that as the rumors spread, like wildfire, throughout the pack, their treatment of me had grown worse. I had gone to get supplies from the storehouse earlier and, normally, when other members of the pack were coming down the path, I would step to the side and allow them to pass without issue. However, today, when I moved to step out of the way, I was thrust down into the mud that had puddled along the path. After which, every pack member who passed me kicked mud into my face.
I was being punished for lies that I did not create. I was being further segregated from my pack due to something that I did not choose. I would have never wished for the Moon Goddess to pair me with the Alpha. I, honestly, had thought no higher than an Omega would be available to me. I had no desire to be a Luna, there was a lot of responsibility that came along with that title. Given that I had never been treated like a true member of the pack, I would not even begin to know how to behave as a proper Luna should.
I wished that Alpha Farris would just get the rejection over with already. Then he could claim whatever unmated female that he would like, given that she was prepared to give up her fated mate, of course. I am certain that he had plenty of interested females throughout the pack that would be happy to take my place at his side. I could not fathom what could possibly be taking him so long to reject me. I should think that it would have been a simple choice for him. All that he would lose out on would be the chance to father biological pups. But he and his chosen mate could adopt. That choice over having an abomination for a mate seemed like a no-brainer to me, especially for an Alpha.
I wished that I could use the mindlink to reach out to Alessa. She could not be seen with me but maybe we could have a quick conversation. I would not dare to risk getting her in trouble with her new mate or the Alpha, but I want to know what is going on. Why was it taking so long for the Alpha to reach back out to me? I knew that she could shed some light on the situation, if only we had a way to communicate.
I sighed. I was so lonely and so bored. I did not want to leave my cabin for fear of some kind of retaliation from the pack over the rumors. Instead, I walked into my tiny bedroom and curled up on the worn-out mattress and cried myself to sleep. I wished desperately for my life to change, if only I had been a full-blooded wolf.
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I awoke several hours later to the distant sounds of music, laughter, and merriment. I stepped outside the cabin door and looked towards the pack house. I could see the distant twinkling of a bonfire as the flames licked against the darkness. I could hear the sounds of celebration and when I sniffed at the air, alcohol was carried on the wind. My heart ached, ever so slightly, at the thought that my mate was amongst the crowd. He was enjoying himself while I sat here in misery.
If I was a braver she-wolf, someone more fitting of the mate that I had been destined for, then I would have packed up and left, right then and there. I would have crossed the pack borders and started out a life as a rogue until I could find a new pack to take me in. But I was not a brave wolf. I was a cowardly mutt. One that would not likely survive the hardships that a rogue had to undertake.
I stepped back inside my home and closed the door tightly. Then I went to around the tiny one-bedroom cabin to ensure that all of the windows were shut as well. I knew this would cause my home to become hot and stuffy over a short time. But this fact bothered me less than having to listen to joyful noises coming from the pack house. I could not completely block out the sound, though, my heightened wolf senses making it impossible. So, I did the only thing that I could think of, I grabbed a pillow and pulled it over my ears, using my hands to hold it in place. Then I curled into a ball and sang songs that I could remember from my childhood.
I do not know when I fell asleep again, but when I did, I had the strangest dream.
Everything around me was dark. I could see no ceiling nor a floor. I was floating in space, an endless void surrounding me. I was alone, completely and utterly alone. I shivered as the sorrow began to wrack its way through my body, causing me to shake. Even in my dreams, I was abandoned. I sobbed, loudly, letting the tears fall as I watched them drop below me until they disappeared from view, swallowed by the nothingness.
"Why do you cry, my child?" An ethereal voice called out to me; soft and soothing like music on the wind.
"Who is there?" I cried, spinning in circles to find myself staring into the darkness, not a person in sight.
Suddenly, tiny pinpoints of light began to appear in the distance throughout the space. They dotted the landscape, surrounding me, twinkling like stars in the sky.
"Wow…" I breathed, astounded by the spectacular beauty.
"Welcome, my child, it has been a long time."
A large spotlight began to shine down from an unknown origin. I gasped as I stared at it, I do not know how, but I was acutely aware that this was source of the disembodied voice.
"Who are you? What do you want?"
"I am here for you, my child. I am here to ask you to wait and to have hope. Better things are coming for you. You just have to be patient. I would not have given you this life if I did not believe that you were strong enough to live it. Be strong. You will see."
"How long do I have to wait?" I pled.
My life had already been so difficult up to this point. How much longer would I be forced to endure before things were going to change? How much longer could I be expected to suffer before finding my reward?
"Soon, child, soon."
With that, the voice and the glow that accompanied faded away. I was left alone among the glittering stars. I did not have any more answers than what I had started with. All I knew was that I was supposed to be patient. I wondered if I had it in me to wait as long as would be necessary.
I awoke with a start. I rubbed my eyes and sat up. I shook my head, vigorously, before stopping to pinch the bridge of my nose. Had any of that been real? That was the strangest dream that I had ever had. It did not feel like a dream, it felt more like an out-of-body experience. I was not sure if I had actually been asleep or if I had, somehow, been transported elsewhere for a temporary time.
"What the hell am I thinking?!" I exclaimed.
Of course, I was asleep. There was no other explanation. It was all a dream. A very strange dream, but a dream, nonetheless. I sighed, knowing that I needed to take the words in the dream with a grain of salt. There was nothing greater coming for me and that kind of hope would only break me when it amounted to nothing. My life meant nothing, and it would continue that way. I could not risk entertaining such fantasies, the heartbreak would be too much.