"YEAH!!! FIRE GO GET MY PANTS!!! WAKE UP SON IT'S TIME TO RUN!!!!!!"
"Yes, this is the best running music." I said as I got up after tying my laces.
Vacations end tomorrow and I wanna get in shape so I'm gonna go for a little run in my neighbourhood.
"AW YEAH! LET'S DO IT!!" I said with high spirits.
...After 15 minutes....
"*HUFF* *HUFF* I HATE MY LIFE, MY LEGS HURT AND I CAN'T BREATHE AND I STILL HAVE 2 MILES TO GO AND THIS SONG SUCKS!! WHO THE F**K IS SINGING THIS, A COCKROACH?!" I said as I threw away the earplugs.
I somehow crawled to my house
"Mom? MOM! I'M DYING!! GET ME WATER AND A FEW VITAMIN TABLETS! AND TURN ON THE HEATER IT'S F**KING COLD!! WHERE'S THE TOWEL? I'M SWEATY!!! MOM!!!" I shouted.
I was getting annoyed by my own voice and felt like slapping myself but mom did it for me.
"STOP SHOUTING AND DO YOUR HOMEWORK!! YOU HAVEN'T EVEN STARTED, HAVE YOU?!" Mom shouted.
"...Yes" I said.
"I'm leaving for a garage sale. It's my only day off so I wanna enjoy it! You should be done with your homework till I return!" Mom said and closed the door.
"....UGH!!!!!!" I said as I threw myself on the floor.
I went to my room and closed the door.
I looked at my laptop and my books.
"I need to give that essay on 'Happiness is the greatest treasure to humanity' tomorrow...."
Whatever...I'll just lie here on my bed because it's not tomorrow yet....
... AS IF!! UGH! I need to start.
I opened my book and switched on the laptop.
I took out a pencil, wrote half an alphabet and the point broke.
Then, for 10 minutes, I searched for the sharpener and found it in my boots.
I sharpened the pencil....
That annoying moment when you spend ages sharpening a pencil, then the point breaks and falls off.
"UGH!!! WHAT COULD POSSIBLY BE MORE ANNOYING?!!!!" I shouted as I threw away the pencil.
"Kate!" Anna said as she barged inside my room as if she owned it.
"Oh....I was just thinking about you" I said.
"Really? Hey, I wanna tell you something. You know I had a blue brasserie, it was my favourite! I can't find it anywhere....can help me find it?"
"Let me tell you a story, once upon a time nobody gave a f*ck, the end." I said.
"AW COME ON!! HELP ME! PRETTY PLEASE?" She said.
"Who do you think I am? Some kind of undie cop? F*ck off, ask mom." I said.
"I asked her, she doesn't know." She said.
"Dude, I'm just your brother...not a therapist." I said.
"I think it's a thief." She said.
"An undie thief?" I said.
"YES! A PERVERT!! KATE PLEASE FIND IT!!" She said.
"....Look, unlike you, I'm a busy man, I need to do the essay before mom comes." I said.
"Hey, let's do a deal! If you help me find my brasserie, I'll do your essay for you." Anna said.
"B*TCH!!! YOU'RE NOT LYING, RIGHT?" I said.
"No, I'm not." She said.
"FINE! LEAVE IT TO ME!!" I said as I closed my book and ran outside my room.
I searched for 1 hour...Finally I found it in the bushes of our neighbours' house, Mr. Kaise.
Thank god it's not near our Japanese neighbour's house, that lady shouts so much.
"Jeez, this girl." I said as I picked up the brasserie and something pulled me towards itself.
And finally a fish catching net landed on me.
"AH!!!! WHAT IS THIS??!!!!" I shouted as I struggled under the net.
A boy came out of the bushes and picked up the brasserie.
It was the son of our neighbours...
"Ralf Kaise?" I said as I looked at him. I know him! I've worked with him on a project before. He's a second year at Kerlin County High.
"Kate Roberts?" He said.
"So, you're the undie thief?" We both said together.
"Ew! Pervert!" He said.
"Eh? I'M NOT A PERVERT!!! And give me back that brasserie." I said as I got up and threw away the net.
"What are you saying? It's mine." He said.
"....Who's the pervert now?" I said.
"I'm not a pervert." He said.
"YEAH YEAH! AND I WON'T BE A PERVERT EITHER IF I OWN A BRASSERIE." I said.
"No, you'd be called a sicko in that case." He said.
"SHUT UP! AND WHAT'S WITH THIS NET?" I said.
"I was gonna catch the undie thief by using my brasserie as bait." He said.
"Well, then you caught the wrong dude." I said.
"No, it is you. Just accept it." He said.
"SHUT UP!! I THOUGHT IT WAS MY SISTER'S BRASSERIE." I said.
"....One word- Incest." He said.
"ANYTHING BUT THAT!!! PUA!!! I FEEL LIKE PUKING!!" I said.
"Don't puke here, puke there." He said pointing towards the dustbin.
"SHUT UP!!" I said.
"Then, help me catch the thief." He said.
"Why do you wanna catch him?" I said.
"Because he's stealing my lingerie." He said.
"....I will help you, but you have to stay a mile away from me." I said.
"Deal." He said and jumped back inside the bushes.
"What are you doing?" I said.
"Waiting for him." He said.
"NO- YOU DEFINITELY LOOK SUSPICIOUS THIS WAY!" I said.
"Are you worried about me?" He said.
"YEAH RIGHT! I DON'T WANT MY NEIGHBOUR TO BE CAUGHT BY THE COPS BECAUSE OF MOLESTATION." I said.
"Who am I molesting? The bushes?" He said.
"JUST F**KING GET OUT OF THERE!!!" I shouted.
You know who is the fastest terrestrial mammal?
It's a teenager when he sees his mom coming towards him for whipping his ass because he didn't finish his HOMEWORK!!!
"I did it." Anna said, handing me my notebook.
"Anna...You-"
"Kill that thief and leave no evidence." She said.
"WHAT'S WRONG WITH THIS HOUSEHOLD?!!!" I shouted.
"It's so cold, I'm freezing! I think we should go back home." I said as I rubbed my hands while sitting beside Ralf Kaise.
"He might be here any moment." He said.
"BUT I-"
"Oh shut up." He said as he stuffed snow in my mouth.
"UGH!!! GRAINFRU!!!! (Brain freeze)" I said and coughed.
"Shhhh!!! He's here." Ralf Kaise said as he closed my mouth.
"MMMMM!!" I was gonna die from the cold snow inside my mouth.
"HEY WAIT RIGHT THERE!!" Ralf shouted as he got out of the bushes.
The thief started running.
"HEY WAIT!!!!" He shouted as he ran towards his scooter.
"W- Wait for me!!!!" I said as I ran after his scooter and sat behind him.
He started driving the scooter which sounded like a bike, chasing after the thief.
"What is this?" I said.
"The silencer broke in an accident." He said.
"DRIVE FASTER! WE HAVE ALMOST CAUGHT HIM!!!" I shouted.
"Un...could you move your hands away from my chest? I'm kinda sensitive there." He said.
"OH- S- SORRY!" I said as I moved my hands away.
"Stop spacing out, grab him." He said.
"Y- YES! OI!!!!" I said as I grabbed his hair.
I pulled him towards myself when his hair tore and came in my hands.
"EH??!! WTF!!!" I said as I threw it away.
"That was a wig? Oh..." Ralf said.
"WHAT'S SO FASCINATING ABOUT IT??!!" I shouted.
"Hold tight, we're entering the main streets." He said.
"WHAT? NO NO NO- STOP!" I said.
But he didn't....
We followed the thief, from the roofs of the houses, to the main street, to the footpaths.
*BEEP BEEP* "GET AWAY PEOPLE!! GET AWAY!!" I shouted as people jumped away from our way.
"WHAT ARE YOU DOING? THAT GRANDMA FELL DOWN!" I shouted.
"HEY! STOP THERE, YOU B*STARD!!!" A man shouted and soon an entire mob was following us.
"Looks like we raised riots." I said.
"We have a much important thing to worry about." He said.
"FOR EXAMPLE?" I said.
"Look ahead." He said.
"Ahead?" I said as I looked near the red light.
"P- P- POLICE?!!!" I shouted as my face changed colors.
WE ARE SO F**KED UP NOW....
-To be continued