Don't you HATE it when people bump into you and give you a dirty look as if it was your fault?
Even worse!
When you accidentally step on dog shit and the shit gives you a dirty look.
I'm like- WHAT THE F**K?!! EVEN SHIT HAS ATTITUDE ISSUES NOWADAYS!!!
But you know what's wrong with today's generation?
Idiocy is spreading like a disease and scientists have still not even started working to find its cure and save the human race from killing themselves, and the Earth and the entire universe!!!!
This is a very dangerous disease! Before giving its examples let me first clear a myth.
Idiots do catch colds. Have you ever met someone in your life who hasn't caught a cold? Like…ever?! No, right.
But you have met idiots...
HENCE PROVED
Examples of this are infinite.
Where can you find idiots?
Everywhere!
From gutters till space, like stupid couples making out in bathrooms, couples making out in car, couples making out in bushes...
And NON couples ALMOST making out in a moving car filled with other people and totally roofless...
Yep, that's my current situation....
Oh god! Please don't let anyone notice us!!
We were inside a roofless car. Harry was talking to Jaden and Zalia was talking to brother Louise, who was very professionally driving the car.
Thank god, I don't think they have no-
"Ngh!!" I moaned.
His fingers!! I hate to admit it but he is super good at this, this f**ker!!
"Kate, let's take it a level further this time." He whispered in my ear.
"W- What?" I said as I turned towards him.
You guys won't believe what he did next!
He slipped his fingers..... down my ass.
"Wait!" I whispered "Brandon, I don't... feel so well suddenly, let's-"
"Continue till you feel well?" Brandon said with a smile.
"Ngh! No, its-"
"It's okay! It's just a practice, I'll do it better on the bed." Brandon said.
"That's not what I-"
"WAIT!!" Harry shouted.
Brother Louise quickly stopped the car and said "What happened?"
OMG!! DID HE SAW US???
Harry looked at me and said "Kate..."
OMG!! HE'S SAW US!!!
"What do Harry want?" Brandon said as he licked his fingers.
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!! DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIRTY YOUR HAND IS RIGHT NOW??!! YOU JUST INSERTED YOUR FINGER IN MY....
MY....
Oh God....
I just can't!!
It's Christmas dammit! Don't do such things that even God himself will be ashamed!!
"…Nevermind...Jaden you come with me." Harry said.
"Where are you going?" Brandon said.
"I've gotta pee." Harry said.
"Oooohhhhh Nature's call! But...is it good to leak it in nature?" Zalia said.
"B- But it's urgent!! I need to use the bathroom!! I've exceeded the safe level!" Harry said.
"Then, use a proper bathroom! Jeez! Why are guys so uncivilised!" Zalia said.
"You're just jealous that you are not as free and open as us to leak just ...anywhere!" Louise said.
"What?" Zalia said as she raised her eyebrows.
"Did you listen to what I said, Jaden?" Louise said as he turned towards Jaden.
"Wait- You were saying that to me?" Jaden said.
"Of course!" Louise said and threw away the cigarette outside the car.
"HEY!! STOP LITTERING AROUND!!" Zalia shouted.
"I'm helping mother nature to warm up. See? The cigarette was so warm that it melted the snow." Louise said.
"Shut up!" She said.
"Un...Can I go?" Harry said.
"No, you can't! That's outdoor defecation!" She said.
"She is right, you sit here, I'll go." Louise said.
"Wait! Where are you going?" Zalia said as she grabbed his shoulder.
"J- Jogging." Louise said.
"STOP SCREWING AROUND!!" She shouted.
Have you gone through that feeling when everyone wants to pee and you suddenly feel like peeing too?
But….
WHERE WILL I PEE?!! THERE'S NO BATHROOM IN THIS JUNGLE!! WE ARE LITERALLY SURROUNDED BY CONIFER TREES AND SNOW.
Yeah…Christmas....
"Un...Even I feel like peeing" I said.
"Then...Me too" Brandon said.
"Good, let's all go and mass pee." Harry said.
"I like that." Louise said.
"HEY! DID YOU HEAR A WORD I JUST SAID!" Zalia said as she grabbed Louise's collar.
Louise grabbed her hand and said "Let us go if you don't wanna swim in a pee pool."
"Un...Okay...." She said and slowly sat down.
THAT'S BROTHER LOUISE FOR YA!!
We all went to the forest in different directions.
.
.
.
"Un.... It's been a while now but... ... WHY ARE YOU FOLLOWING ME?!!" I shouted as I turned towards Brandon.
"Me? No, I don't feel like peeing anymore so...."
"YOU NEVER FELT LIKE PEEING!! YOUR INTENTIONS WERE MALICIOUS FROM THE VERY BEGINNING!!" I shouted.
I turned towards the brown bark of a tree and pulled down my zipper.
"Kate, have you ever tried 'Outside s*x'?" He said.
I turned my face towards him while I was still peeing.
"....What are you planning? " I said.
"I heard it's very exciting, I wanna try it out once." He said.
"Shut up!" I said as I turned towards the bark again "Besides, aren't you too horny today? You are literally crossing limits now."
"Kate, you are my only limit." Brandon said "And...I want to cross it"
I just stood there as I heard his footsteps, quickly moving towards me.
Finally, he back hugged me and said "Kate, what do you feel about me?"
...I was still peeing....
AND NOW YOU ASK??!!!
JUST LOOK AT THE TIMING?? I WANT TO KICK HIM IN HIS B*LLS!!
The awkward silence + the peeing sound effects...
And what's with my pee?!! Is it Niagara falls? It just keeps flowing!!!!
The awkwardness....
"HEY KATE!! WHATCHA DOIN'?" Harry said.
"Oh you know, hunting elephants." I said.
Seriously, either he doesn't have eyes or brain.
Anyone of them is missing!
I just HATE it when people know exactly what you're doing, but still ask you what you're doing as if they can't believe what a great thing you're doing!
But wait...
Now that I think about it.…
A guy peeing with another guy pressing his body weight on his back.… is quite weird.
Harry and Jaden froze as they stared at me and Brandon.
...I just ignored them and continued peeing.
Finally....I was done peeing, with him on my back.
That was the most suspenseful pee of my life!!!
The awkwardness....
"H- Harry....I can explain." I said.
"I'm sure you can't." Harry said.
"But just listen! JADEN!!!" I said.
"Why are you saying that to me? Say that to him." Jaden said as he pointed in front of me.
I looked up and found a BEAR!!!
HOLY S*IT THAT WASN'T A TREE BARK BUT A BEAR'S FEET?!!
"WAIT!! SHOULDN'T BEARS BE HIBERNATING RIGHT NOW??!!" I said.
"Not all bears hibernate. According to-"
"Okay Jaden, I got it!!" I shouted.
"GRRRRRRRRRRRR"
The bear looked angry, well who wouldn't be if someone pissed on their leg??
We slowly moved away from it.
"Stay calm and don't move guys... if you stay calm, it won't attack." Jaden said.
"I- Is that so?" Harry said.
The bear brought his face near Harry's face and roared till Harry's face was covered with its saliva.
"Ewww! His breath stinks!" Harry said as he grabbed the bear's mouth and closed it.
"HARRY!!!!!" I shouted.
The bear looked even more angry.
"J- Jaden.…what should w-we do?" I said.
"Just stay calm." Jaden said.
The bear growled and swayed his paw just above Jaden's head, breaking the tree behind him. The bear only missed by a centimetre.
"R....RUN FOR YOUR LIFE!!!" Jaden said as he started running and all of us followed him.
"Jaden, why did he attack us?!" I said.
"We caused.…Number one, someone pissed on its leg and number two, someone just insulted him, so yeah." Jaden said as he ran.
OH GOD!!
I REGRET COMING OUT OF MY BLANKET AND IF I GET KILLED TODAY, I'M GONNA CURSE ALL OF THEM!!!!!
-To be continued