Hey guys, it's Kate Roberts and an update, alright.
Now, before you start screaming about me being a pervert for dreaming something perverted and getting a boner for that, I wanna clear some misunderstandings.
Yes, it is the fourth wall break.
Yes, I can read your mind.
But, that's not the point!... And what's with the title? Gross!
So, let's get back to the moment....
"Holy shit....I'M HARD!!" I said as I looked at my crotch.
OH MY GOD!! But, thank God! It means I'm not impotent. I mean... I've never masturbated even once in the past 15 years, so naturally, I was worried!
Hey! It's not a laughing matter! It decides 89% of my future. The rest of it depends on my basic body homeostasis and that I don't catch some incurable disease.
"Eh!... eh!….
...How do we masturbate again??" I said.
Hey! Everyone has a first time, you know!
As far as I've heard... you need tissues...for cleaning up but….
UGH!! I'M SO ASHAMED OF MYSELF!!
I'M SUCH A LET DOWN!!
A GUY WHO DOESN'T KNOW HOW TO MASTURBATE!!
SERIOUSLY, WHICH GIRL WILL DATE ME?
WHY AM I SO ANNOYED??!! I'M ANNOYED BECAUSE I'M ANNOYED THAT I'M ANNOYED!!
I was panicking!! It was a major outburst of emotions...
Until I saw my laptop....
Internet....
Wi-Fi...
....*ouTube...
...…
...….
Well.... that's the only option left! Now the next question is....
How to reach there?
I'm scared to walk or crawl up till there. What if! What if I break something while doing so?
Hey! It is a possibility!!
No no no!! It's too dangerous!!
Then I came up with something!!
I could make a loop rope and grab my laptop like in those cowboy movies!
How hard can it be?
But where will I get a rope from?
Then, I came up with another brilliant idea!
I could tie up my clothes to make a dependable rope!!
Oh damn! I'm so smart!! I feel like such a genius suddenly!
I removed my shirt and my pants and tied them together to make a rope.
I moved my hands in a circular motion and threw the hope towards the laptop.
...The first attempt was pretty GOOD!!
The laptop moved closer!!!
That's a great start!
MAN! I WAS SO FIRED UP!
So, I took the rope, again did the same.
...The second attempt was NOT PRETTY GOOD!
Well, the rope fell at the corner of the laptop and the laptop fell down the table making a horrible sound.
"OH NO!!" I shouted.
I felt as if every single part of that laptop was broken. Although it looked completely fine from outside but the sound effects with which it had fallen... we're not very assuring.
But, I was in a tight situation here...
My mind was spinning and as the adrenaline rushed through my head, I could hear my heartbeat...
*PING*
"A notification?" I said as I picked up my phone which was lying beside me.
It was a message which said "ONLY 2 DAYS LEFT FOR THE GRAND CLOTHES SALE!!"
Hey wait...
Even my phone has *ouTube.....
"OH F*CK!! I COULD HAVE USED MY PHONE!!" I shouted "THEN I WOULDN'T HAVE TO SACRIFICE MY LAPTOP!! UGH!!!! I'M SUCH AN IDIOT!!!"
"What's your problem??!! I can't sleep! Stop shouting!!" Anna shouted as she slammed the door of my room and entered inside.
WAIT! I STILL HAVE A BONER !
"NO NO! ! DON'T COME NEAR ME!!" I shouted.
"What are you saying? Wait….
Is that my lotion bottle in between your legs?? What is it doing here? I was looking for everywhere!" She said as she came near me.
Eh....
Lotion bottle...?
Between my legs?
WAIT- IT'S NOT MY D*CK??!!
"GIVE IT HERE!! I HOPE YOU DIDN'T DO SOMETHING WEIRD TO IT!!" She said as she snatched the lotion bottle and marched out of my room.
*SLAM*
....And here I was thinking that I had become so big after becoming hard.
Don't laugh guys...I'm literally heart broken.…
What if I'm really impotent?
What will I do?
The next day, I reached school and I saw Harry sitting...in a corner in the football field, all alone.
"Hi Harry" I said.
"Oh! Hello Kate" Harry said.
"What are you doing?" I said.
"Shhhh I'm going to do something cool, come closer." He said.
I sat with him and saw that he had a cigarette with him!!!
"H- Harry?" I said.
You see, I was completely bewildered!
"I'm going to try it. Brother looks so cool when he beats up people with a cigarette in his mouth." Harry said.
"But, we are minors! Your brother is 18 already!" I said.
"As if someone's gonna find out." Harry said "Unfortunately, I only have one right now, next time I'll bring one for you too." He said.
"N- No, I'm fine really." I said.
"Alright, let's check this baby out!" Harry said and inserted the cigarette in his mouth.
He took out a lighter and lit the cigarette.
"You look so professional in this." I said.
"That's because I always watch my brother closely while doing this." He said.
As soon as he took the first smoke, he coughed and coughed and coughed until his eyes were red and moist.
"*Cough Cough* what's this? *Cough cough* I feel like I'm about to die!! I thought smoking was chilled!" He said.
"Hmph! Who do you think you are? The king of America?" I said.
"America doesn't have a king." He said.
"Yes, exactly my point." I said.
When he was finally back to normal, he said "Well, it was not that bad."
"Ya, but you definitely didn't look cool. You looked more like a dying tuberculosis patient." I said.
SHIT!! HERE GOES MY TONGUE AGAIN!! I HOPE HE'S NOT MAD....
"Well, I can look cool if I want." He said.
HE'S NOT ANGRY!!
"Really?" I said.
"OF course~ Coolness is in my blood." He said as he stood up, "Now watch."
He kept one hand on the wall and the other hand held the cigarette. He slowly took the cigarette towards his mouth. He inhaled and slowly exhaled the smoke as he took the cigarette away from him.
'Damn! I'm so cool.' is what the look on his face said.
Louise stood in front of Harry.
WAIT!- WHEN DID HE GET HERE??!!
Harry's face lost color as soon as he saw Louise.
Before anything could be said or done, Louise took the lead and held Harry's hand.
He grabbed the cigarette from Harry's mouth and kept it in his mouth. Then...
He started beating Harry to his death.
Man... I was trying my best NOT to laugh.
Finally, Harry got away from Louise and ran away towards the school building with Louise following him, both at full speed.
They could literally beat horses if they ran like that during a race.
...
"I never want a big brother." I said.
"Me neither. I really love my little sister."
"Nah! But my little sister's a b*tch!" I replied.
"Kate, have you gotten fat?" He said.
I turned behind and found a real ass!!
Nah, I'm just kidding guys, it was Brandon Johnson, that ass!
"When did you get here?" I said.
"Just now. But, wow! You're getting fatter." He said.
"I can't give up on food when it is the only thing that makes me happy." I said "AND HOW EXACTLY AM I FAT?" I shouted.
"Like this." He said as he grabbed my chest!
Then he groped me.
I just stood there...speechless....
"....You know what....I'm not a girl….what are you trying to get out of it? It's not funny." I said as he continued groping me.
"Eh? Aren't you sensitive here?" That ass (Brandon= that ass) said.
"NO I'M NOT!! I DON'T HAVE BREASTS!!" I shouted.
"Really?" He said. Then, he suddenly pressed my nipples.
"Ngh! Jerk!" I shouted as I pushed him away.
He smiled and said "See? You are sensitive there."
"Shut up! Anyone would feel weird if you touch them at weird places!!" I shouted.
"But... not everyone gives reactions as cute as you." He said.
"Let me ask you something, what if you meet someone better than me?" I said.
"Better at what?" He said.
"You jerk! Are you mocking me??!!" I said.
Alright! I'm not good at anything!! I know that!!
"Let me change my question...what is the first thing you think of when you look at other girls?" I said.
"That she is not you." He replied.
I would be lying if I were to say I wasn't flustered after hearing that.
"Just..." I mumbled.
"Hmm?"
"JUST GO TO KOREA ALREADY, YOU JERK!!!!" I shouted as I ran away towards my locker.
Damn, somebody come...
AND KILL ALL THESE BUTTERFLIES INSIDE MY STOMACH!!!
AND YOU BRANDON JOHNSON!!!
STOP BEING SO HANDSOME! IF YOU'RE SO HANDSOME…I SERIOUSLY....
Seriously.....
Seriously....
Can't take my eyes off of you.
-To be continued