Do you know that we have 8 planets in our solar system?
204 countries.
809 islands.
7 seas.
7.000.000.000+ people.
AND I'M SINGLE!
I know, it's heartbreaking. I mean, how can you face a problem when the PROBLEM is your FACE?!!
It's Kate Roberts with you, guys. And today I'll show you the dark side of this world!
It's messed up guys. No matter how you look at it! I seriously think that GAY RIGHTS should be banned in California!
Our government is chilled, you know that? They'll ban the stuff you LOVE! It's just like they'll wake up in the morning, have breakfast, take a bath, sit on their table, keep their finger on their chin and say....."Okay, what to ban today?"
"Oh, you like your underwear-oh good, it's BANNED!"
....Like, seriously? And people are killing each other in the WWE matches, and dangerous sports like dodgeball (Fact: Dodgeball can kill you if you ain't good at dodging)
Gay people are ruining the lives of straight people, people are getting murdered and s*it, that all they'll not see, they'll see what you like-"Oh? You like memes? FINE-BAN IT!!"
Yeah! Take away our only source of entertainment, and then you, the government, will stand here to perform a Hawaiian Hula dance with leaves wrapped around your waist for our entertainment, right?
As if anyone wants to watch a group of politicians doing a hula dance! That'd just be psychological torture. But you'll be FORCED to watch it!
In this democracy
People are FORCED to do so much stuff.
You're FORCED to eat vegetables-Okay, let me make one thing very clear....CHOCOLATE is a salad.
Don't laugh, I'm serious, the logic lies right here-
Chocolate comes from cocoa, which is a tree, that makes it a plant, hence chocolate is SALAD!
YEAH!!!!!
People are forced to even stay with other people- I really hate it when you have to be nice to the people you want to throw a brick at!
That's my situation right now. Louise Louverne, Harry's elder brother, asked ME AND THAT ASS (Brandon=that ass) TO SHARE A ROOM?!?!?!
Does he have any idea that Brandon Johnson is gay for me? What if he tries something weird while we sleep??? If he did, I'll kick him right in his *alls!
All of us went to our respective rooms. That ass (Brandon=that ass) and I reached the guest room and that ass closed the curtains.
"WHY IS THERE ONLY ONE DOUBLE BED IN HERE??!!" I shouted.
Brandon just stood near the bed and removed his T-shirt.
"W-WAIT! Why are you removing it?" I said as I moved close to the door.
"Hm? This? I'm sweaty. I can't sleep with my clothes on." Brandon said.
"PUT IT BACK!!" I said as I covered my eyes. My eyes are supposed to remain pure, alright.
"....Are you a girl?" Brandon said with a smug face. What's with that face? It's asking to be broken by my punch!! UGH!!! But I controlled myself and after a huge amount of calculations, I came up with the best answer ever, which was-
"Why?"
You people must be thinking that I'm stupid and comment stuff like "Oh! Come on Kate!" or "I'm so done with you Kate." or the smarter ones would be like "...Ugh, isn't 'why' a question?"
You can say whatever you want after you listen to this theory of mine-
The QUESTION 'WHY?' Has bugged everyone of us, from the childhood till puberty and trust me, it will last till you die! Many people keep asking that question even after you die! There will be that ONE irritating person who'll come up crying to you and say "WAH!! WHY DID HE DIE??!! WAH!!!"
He might have not even given a f*ck about that person when he was alive but he will ask 'WHY' for sure, it's a custom now, to say 'why?'
When I accompany my sister to the market, she will ask the price, the shopkeeper tells the price and she is like "WHY IS IT SO EXPENSIVE?"
It's like you're going to buy diamonds instead of making a plastic ring out of recycled bottles and then ask "WHY IS THE DIAMOND MUCH MORE EXPENSIVE THAN PLASTIC??"
"...I don't know ma'am....maybe because things are supposed to have a price otherwise we wouldn't put a 'for sale' tag on it?"
This one syllable 'WHY?' Has destroyed lives and business relationships. But above all-It has destroyed student lives. Every time I read the word 'WHY?' in my question paper, I die from inside, slowly.
Even the scientists have suffered so much because of this 'WHY?' and you don't have any idea how many cats are killed everyday because of this curiosity generating question called 'WHY?' What the f*ck 'Why?'. Who the f*ck invented this word, I'll find you and kill you!
...Let's just leave this here before this story turns into something else. But no fear my golden nuggets! I, Kate Roberts, will write a complete thesis on 'WHY?'
I was standing near the door when suddenly, the door opened with a smash. And I was sandwiched between the door and the wall.
"Huh? Where's the other guy?" Louise said as he entered the room.
"LOUISA! Wanna sleep with us?" Brandon said.
"Of course not! It's just that all of you are covered in food. Go and take a bath before you sleep." Louise said.
"ROGER!!" Brandon said as he saluted Louise. Louise just clicked his tongue and left the room.
I crawled out from the wall and door, and said "Bath? Right now? I do feel gross after that food war."
"Yes, let's take a bath." Brandon said.
"WHY ARE YOU BATHING TOO???" I said.
"Well, I'm sweaty." Brandon said.
"THEN YOU GO FIRST!!" I said.
"That'd waste time, let's go in together." Brandon said.
"....You're persistent! Fine, do whatever you want, I'm leaving." I said.
"YAY!" Brandon said as he followed me like a puppy.
'This is annoying the s*it outta me!' I thought as I removed my shirt. I stopped before removing my pants and looked behind me. Brandon had already removed his shirt.
'FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU*K!!!! HE'S HOT DAMMIT!!! HE'S GOT ABS!!!!!' I thought then I looked at my poor body which was skinny and flat! No abs, no biceps, absolutely nothing!! UGH! I feel so ashamed standing next to him.
GOD....CAN'T YOU GIVE ME ABS TOO?? THEN, I'LL GET A GIRLFRIEND AND HAVE A SATISFIED LIFE! I LOOK LIKE A SPUD STANDING BESIDE HIM.
Whatever, I know I'm the best in my own way! WHO NEEDS ABS?!
I wrapped the towel around me and walked inside the bathroom as he followed me.
"Hey, how hot do you want the water to be?" I asked while adjusting the temperature of the shower.
He said nothing.
I waited for a while and turned back "HEY!" I shouted. He was holding my towel, slightly raising it and looking at my ass.
"WHAT ARE YOU DOING??!!" I said as I slapped his hand and jumped near the wall.
"You've got a nice ass." He said.
"W-W-WHAT'S THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN?" I said.
"....S*it!" He said as he covered his face and looked at the ground.
"What happened?" I said thinking that he had come across a severe case of diarrhea. Hey, that's not completely impossible when he just ate 12 f*cking hot dogs in 2 minutes, TWELVE!
He leaned a little so I moved towards him and asked "Are you okay?"
"…I'm horny." Brandon said as he continued covering his face.
"….What?" I said, completely confused, thinking what the hell should I reply to this? So, again I went on with this question-
"...Why?" I said.
"Because, seeing you naked like this" He said as he looked up "...Is a real turn on for me."
"HUH??" I said, ready to run out of the bathroom. I ran but he grabbed my hand and pulled me back.
I resisted.
He was strong.
He threw me inside the bathtub.
"HELP!!" I shouted.
He took my towel but I held on. He started stretching my towel, trying to pull it away from me.
"Kate, please let go." He said.
"NO! NEVER!!! LEAVE ME AND F*CK OFF!!! YOU HAVE BAD INTENTIONS!!" I shouted, holding on to my towel, which was covering my honor and respect as a man!
This stretching seemed to continue forever until finally the towel tore and we both went in two different directions. He fell on the ground leaving me inside the bathtub, my waist wrapped in a half torn towel.
He threw the piece of towel aside and walked towards me.
"Wait, hey!" I said as I went to the corner of the bathtub.
He grabbed my hands and pushed me on the wall. He was breathing heavily as his passionate crimson eyes looked into mine. I thought it was time to to kick his *alls, but as I reached my foot to his crouch...I felt....something I should have never felt....This jerk.…he's got a BONER!!!!!!!!
-To be continued