My brother, Sakaki Sui, is an oddball.
When he was in his third year of junior high, aka when I was in my first year, I noticed that he had changed a little. (Ok not just a little)
"Is that Ugin's brother?"
My friend was pointing to a third year in gym class. I looked closer in the direction of their finger and saw my brother.
180 centimeters tall. With short hair.
My brother was holding a wooden stick and swung it around, imitating kendo with his friends. I was so embarrassed that I didn't dare confirm the question.
It was another day.
When I heard the library had received a new shipment of books, I went there with shining eyes. Books were familiar but also expensive for junior high students, so I liked to go to the library to read for free.
The library was on the floor where the third years were, so it was difficult to get to. A two year gap was big, so I went with my friends.
"Are you Ugin's brother?"
My friend and I saw my brother walk like a drunk uncle in front of us.
"What are you doing, Nii-chan?"
"Oh, it's Ugin. Move over a bit. I can't step on the shadows."
He seemed to be walking along the hallway while avoiding the light coming through the window. I walked past him in disgust.
"AHHHHHHHHHH!!!!"
I groaned to myself in the classroom during lunch.
"What's wrong?"
It was nice to be worried about and talked to, but it always felt like I was in trouble.
"MY BROTHER IS SO STUPID AND I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!"
…is something I couldn't say.
Hahhhh.
I hadn't expected my brother to have changed so drastically. I didn't know what happened to him. Why'd he change in the first place? Because my perception of him changed? He's normal at home though.
It was annoying and troublesome to get asked, "Is that Ugin's brother?" I could only respond, "Yes… he's my brother."
I wondered what it was.
Did I hate it?
An ordinary, unassuming day changed that.
I was on my way home from school when I happened to spy my brother crouched in the street. I didn't feel like calling out to him. To be honest, I didn't want to have anything to do with him at school, or even when he was in his uniform. I didn't despise him, but I didn't like him either. Japanese is difficult.
I tried walking past him. I think I looked down on him as if observing an ant.
A dead sparrow lay at my brother's feet.
He wrapped the sparrow in a leaf with a sad look in his eyes.
"Nii-chan, you eatin' mugwort mochi?"
I decided to play dumb. I wanted to avoid directly asking about the sparrow. I still wonder why, even now.
I didn't want to pry too deeply into my brother's life. Just stay on the surface.
I'm pretty sure that was my thought process. It was just intuition. So I made a joke.
And my brother replied.
"The sparrow. It was dead."
I know.
"I wonder why?"
My brother asked the sparrow.
"Why didn't anyone bury it?"
I'll never forget those words.
My brother proceeded to dig up the dirt in a corner of the road and buried the sparrow. He was expressionless and remained indifferent the whole time. It wasn't because he was coldhearted, but because of something more akin to respect.
I stood behind him and watched.
My brother's back looked wrapped in kindness. He wasn't the incompetent brother who joked around at school, but instead the older brother full of humanity and had a rich heart which valued life.
I felt ashamed.
I felt foolish for evaluating my brother based on my perception of him. I had looked down on him.
Even if I apologized to my brother here, he would only be confused. But I wanted to excuse myself. I wanted to apologize.
The things I'm able to do are small and limited. And as such, I'll make it up to him little by little.
"Nii-chan, lemme treat you."
"Why?"
"Don't worry about it. I'll buy you a drink from the vending machine."
"I can't believe Ugin just said that… did something happen at school?"
"Nothing happened! Here, drink this!"
"Whoa, don't throw it. What's with the tomato juice?"
"It's good for your health. The key to living a long life."
"Really? Thanks. Itadakimasu."
Considering it was for my brother, who valued life, I thought it was the perfect juice.
"But I'm gonna die early from too much salt."
Ah. What a Nii-chan-like response.
I actually thought my brother was gay since I never heard anything about his love life.
When I told my friends about it to pass the time, their eyes lit up.
"That's so exciting!"
My friends seemed happy. It was a mysterious reaction, so my head tilted, but I later she was a fujoshi. [1] There are all kinds of people in the world.
It's been two years since my brother left junior high.
In my third year of junior high, I recently found out that there was a girl who was close to my brother.
Her name was Hiwa Arina.
She was a very peculiar person, very much an S[2], had an extremely venomous tongue, and had a super beautiful face.
My brother and I went to school together for the first time in a while.
Arina was a real beauty.
I was surprised to see them heading for the school gate and hid in the bushes.
(I wonder if she's a model! Woah!)
I couldn't help but think that to myself. Because she was beautiful. Really beautiful! Nii-chan's being overshadowed!
The two headed straight for the school gate. What about me?! Nii-chan left me behind?!
My phone started vibrating. It was an incoming call from my brother. Obediently answering wasn't enough, so I hung up and jumped out of the bushes instead.
Bullet tackle!
Another month had gone by.
I heard my brother was gonna be working with Arina-san at the school festival. He denied that they were dating, but I couldn't help but wonder. Arina was seriously a beauty, so I could only think, "Why my brother?!"
At the school festival, I'm gonna visit and find out about their love life. To serve as a preview of high school.
Notes:
[1] Urban Dict
[2] Sadist