The leaves were getting more and more beautiful as the days passed. It was the season when leaves started to fall, but for me, who didn't like the cold, heading to school in the morning was a hellish march.
The reason why I call it a 'march' is because the same goes for everyone else. I step on the cold concrete with everyone else, walking like the dead. The sunshine seemed to shine brightly, making us feel as if the sun was desperate to melt us. What a hell.
When I looked at the buses that passed by, I saw people crammed inside, clutching the straps with their heads down. They looked like prisoners. It's as if they feared the prison that awaited them. [1]
"I wanna go home…"
That phrase represented me in my entirety.
Between 7:00 and 8:30 in the morning, Japanese people have probably retched inside their hearts a total of 30 million times. I've already contributed 100 times.
"This sucks."
'Sucks', a soprano echoed, in a tone that seemed to express my state of mind. I raised my face like a zombie.
"Looking at you in the morning makes me want to die. Go dance on a highway."
"Ah, Arina."
It was amazing that she was capable of making jokes like that. I couldn't even walk. I hate mornings. By the way, my sister, Ugin, doesn't hate mornings. Rather, she always has a brilliant smile when leaving the house. It was like the opening scene of a shojo anime.
On the other hand, I, her brother, am a zombie that wanders around eating people.
"Don't mention me."
"I know."
She knows exactly who she is. She knows that she's not the person who was given the name 'Hiwa Arina'. She knows that she's a pretender.
She was aware of it long before she met me. I wonder how she felt when she saw a man who declared that he was going to rehabilitate, no, eliminate, her.
I can't say she's being honest, but she's going along with my project. It's like she's actively trying to die. What the hell is she thinking?
Arina and I walked side by side until we entered the school building.
"Arina, what the hell are you thinking?"
"About how I get you to Antarctica."
"I don't get along with penguins."
"You'll be food for the penguins."
So I'm like pig food.
Stop making that face. I'm not proud of anything.
"Well, I'll see you in the Rose Garden."
"Yeah."
After the lunch war, I ate with Makoto.
I was excited to dig into the bread from the concession stand that I had miraculously won.
"That looks really good."
"Of course. The demand is high but the supply is low. Athletes are my enemy."
"I think you're overexaggerating it… I'm in the badminton club."
"Oh, how did the fight between the badminton and tennis club end? I was only there at the start, so I don't know how it ends."
"Oh, yeah. That happened before, the Hiwa Arina intrusion."
"So, what happened?"
"We talked it over and it's settled. We got to an agreement."
"That's good. Arina won't get a bad taste in her mouth."
"Hey, can I ask you something?"
"What is it?"
"What are Hiwa and Sui doing, sneaking around?"
"Non-profit activities."
"Being volunteers, you mean?"
"That's right. Sensei gathered some weirdos."
I'll say something like that. There may be some misinterpretation, but the general idea was right.
"There's been a rumor that Sui and Hiwa have been up to no good."
"What the hell? I'm not going to start a terrorist attack."
"Don't do that. It's a possibility with Hiwa."
"She would probably drown a prefecture in the ocean."
I went back to work on the mission the newspaper club had asked us to do.
I went around asking my classmates about their dream jobs and what was going on in school. I'm sure they must have been suspicious of me slipping in and out all of the time, but if I wasn't willing to do that, the newspaper club would never get data. Seeing the newspaper club members working so diligently, I thought they were desperate. Since they've asked me to do so, I'll take responsibility.
I guess they're not afraid to ask, given their crowded schedule. That made me think that the information we see in the newspaper was painstakingly obtained. However, shitty content is forever shitty.
"What the heck?"
Arina wasn't in class, so I went to the Rose Garden, and, as expected, she was reading as usual. I wasn't sure, but there seemed to be more flowers. Was she going to turn this place into a garden?
"Have you made any progress since then?"
"No."
"Did you ask anyone?"
"No one."
"Hey, hey, the newspaper club is gonna cry."
"That's fine."
This is not right.
Arina didn't take the initiative to help the newspaper club, so it would seem to make sense for Arina not to help, but that would be a pity for the newspaper club that believed in her. Besides, she didn't refuse. Even a kindergartner keeps quiet when they don't express their intentions clearly.
"Arina, that would be irresponsible."
"Is that so?"
"This is for your own good, and the newspaper department trusts us. I wouldn't want to betray their expectations."
"I see."
"Hey, Arina, are you listening?"
Arina's attitude was so infuriating that I lost my temper and said something nasty.
"What do you think 'Arina' would do?"
Her eyes widened and she looked up at me from her book as if she had been struck by lightning.
I regretted it after saying it. I chastised myself for saying something like that.
It was an awful thing to say.
'The person in front of me turned against me and denied my existence.'
It must have seen that way to her.
But she quickly lowered her eyes and began to read again. It was as if nothing had happened.
I couldn't say anything and a few seconds of silence descended on the Rose Garden. It was always quiet, but this time the silence was a very heavy, textured, painful silence.
Then she began to rummage through her bag and pulled out a binder with lots of papers tucked in it.
"Do you have scissors?"
I took a pair of scissors from the shelf and handed them to her.
Arina cut a piece of A4 paper in half. She placed it near me.
"Distribute them. It's up to you."
The paper that was handed to me was written in the form of a questionnaire with the information that the newspaper club was looking for. It was somewhat funny that she had split the sheet of paper into two halves at the top and bottom to save paper, which was unlike Arina.
It was typed out instead of in handwriting, and it was a cute little sentence, so the gap was great.
"What are you laughing at? I'm going to kill you."
"No, it's just so funny."
"I'll leave it to you."
"Ah, I'm sorry, Arina."
"I see."
I stared at the paper Arina had made. It was really good.
With that questionnaire in my hand, I have Arina a thumbs up to show her that it was GOOD[2]. Arina replied by holding up her middle finger, instead of her thumb, at me. Well, that's it. That's the Hiwa Arina I know.
I'll buy something for Arina after I finish handing out the questionnaire. I'll buy her something to eat as well as an apology. But I don't know what Arina likes to eat. Maybe something sweet?
"Arina, what's your favorite food?"
"Is this a survey?"
"Just a personal question."
"I see. Marshmallows."
"So you like marshmallows. That's rare, but okay. I'll go pass these out."
I was casually flipping through dozens of sheets of paper as I left the Rose Garden and found one sheet of paper that was already written on.
As I walked, I read it. There was no name or class written on the paper, so I didn't know who wrote this one.
My Dream Job: Novelist
School News: How would I know, idiot.
I almost burst out laughing. What the heck, 'How would I know, idiot'. The newspaper club would be shocked to see this.
I don't need to know who the unnamed responder was. Dreams aren't meant to be talked about.
I decided to secretly support this dream.
Notes:
[1] This entire part could be a nod to the Death Marches during the Holocaust. That, or I'm it wasn't an intentional parallel to the death marches.
[2] 'Good' is written in English