I decided to avoid kilowanje.i was the cause of the humiliation he had to face,even though I didn't know much concerning him,I knew he was a private person and what happened a week ago at the living room would have been really embarassing to him.
I missed him so much and I couldn't deny I was hurt that he hasn't spoken to me neither my mother.
I've been avoiding Grace in school since that day ,I know it wasn't her fault but call me childish I felt she shouldn't have spend that much time in the restroom knowing I was drunk for the first time.
* * * *
I was standing outside the school gate. after classes on a Friday as I was waiting for the driver to come pick me.
A sleek motorbike ride with a shinny black helmet drove and stopped at
front,the rider pulled his helmet and I was surprised to see kilowanje.
I wondered what he was here to do absentmindedly until he gestured for me to hop on.
I ignored him but realised that he was going nowhere,not wanting to create another scene and I knew students will start recognizing him, I collected the spare helmet he had and climbed behind him.
He drove off not before I saw Grace rushing out of the school gate maybe to find me.
* * * *
kilowanje didn't take me home,instead he drove around till the sun was setting behind the tall city buildings horizon and giving way to dusk.
He finally took us to the hill that he had first taken me the day I followed him out.
I was surprised to find a small picnic basket there with a spread out picnic cloth."was this a picnic?"I thought as I slowly walked to the setting.
kilowanje never seemed the type to do such a thing over a girl,I was feeling honored and guilty at same time.
"sit-down".He said to me as he satdown and began to open the white food pack on the ground.
I remained standing for few minutes before I gingerly sat down facing him and making sure my already short uniform skirt isn't revealing anything.
"I know you're very hungry,it's isn't much..eat"he packed mostly sliced friuts and a white bowl of ice cream that to my surprise hasn't melted.
immediately I placed an apple in my mouth,I began to eat the friuts in hurry like I was being chased.He chuckled,a sound that had me feeling warm."eat slowly,so that you don't choke".He uncapped a bottle water and gave me to drink and I did.
After eating I wiped my mouth.i felt guilty for all that happened and here he was still treating me like a person that had done something tremendous in his life.
He took the ice cream bowl and opened it and gave me.i collected but didn't make an attempt to drink,I said to him."I'm so sorry..".I tilted my head down in shame,unwilling to raise them.
"I'm really sorry...it was my fault.fir going to the club,for getting drunk,for dancing with a stranger,for letti_".
"lerato.."he smoothly cut in.He grabbed my arm and made me raise my glassy eyes to look at him.
"it was never your fault.it was something you wanted to do for the first time,it was your. friend's fault that left you for too long".
I cried...matter of fact I never expected the impropmtu tears until they began to fall.i felt so believed hearing he never for once blamed me.
"God....I felt so guilty and resentful of myself and I really don't want to cause anymore troubles for you with your Dad".I sniffed as he wiped the tears smeared on my cheeks.
we remained sitted and quiet, watching the sun completely set until he heard him say."I really tried Lerato.i tried to forget about you and let you go.i did everything in my power not to think of you,not to harbor any feelings for you but I just couldn't._".
I was shocked and never expected kilowanje's honest confession as I was staring at him surprised and my mouth hung open.
"I know it can't work but I just cant help it.When I'm at home,I search for you with my eyes,when I close my eyes,I see you,your smile,your voice,your innocent expressions and your beautiful brilliant mind.im not saying this for anything to happen between us but I just can't hold it in anylonger".
without a word ,he was raising to his eyes and he pulled me into a hug.i smiled inwardly,my head rested on his broad shoulders,I closed my eyes breathing in his unique manly scent.
This was what I've always wanted,for my feelings to be reciprocated,I thought this was only possible in my dreams,even though he never professed love to me,I still was happy with anyway I can get him.
* * * *
we came back to the manor around 8:04pm,I was pulling my hand away from kilowanje's hold but he was holding onto them tightly.
"let go...they can't see us like this!"I shouted at him in a whisper.but he only smiled a mischievous smile that made a dimple appear on his left cheek that only added to his attractiveness.
"let them".he said ,I smiled shaking my head as we walked into the sitting room,my heart was beating so fast.
Only Mrs Thandeka was sitting on an armchair dress to kill in exotic red cowl necked top that showcased her slim tall figure with a glass of redwine sipping like a queen in her domain.
"I can see your father's warning wasn't Loud enough.."she casually said as if she was discussing the weather with one of her materialistic friends.
kilowanje ignored her and I did the same,he walked me to my room's door and we stood grinning at each other like two jokers,while Mrs Thandeka was scowling at the sight of us too.
"sweet dreams"he said.
"dream about me".I answered and he smiled,he kissed me in my forehead and left his room.
I entered my room,still reminiscing of my time with him with a parmanent smile in my face.All of a sudden,my door pulled open and Mrs Thandeka stomped in with anger on her Botox face,for a moment I was scared of what she'll do.
she grabbed my arm in a painful grip and snarled at me.
"you stupid,naive fool,by the time kilowanje is done with you,I'll be here to have the last laugh.He would never choose you over his father's company".These works sparked fear with me,with a satisfied gleam in her eyes, she
left my room.