Gazing at the stars at a beautiful spring night was the best option after trying to run away from everyone's stupid blames, what have I done anyway? I knew he was bad to me, he was the worst lover ever but I couldn't let him go, I couldn't assume the distance between us -I think I love him..- A young lady once told me to follow my heart and I took her advice, there's nothing more beautiful than love, it can even make the devil the sweetest, I sighed and closed my eyes and tried to think of something else and the first thing that came to my mind is my new teacher, I wasn't that serious when I thought he was hot, like yes he was so hot but not to think of him at sunday's midnight, I tried to kick him out of my mind and changed my sleeping position to feel more comfortable and my breath slowly started relaxing as well as my muscles welcoming my sweet old friend nightmares.
I could be a liar if I say I didn't dream of a handsome old man watching me closely through an old castle's window, examening my movements carefully, I felt his gaze burning my back as I was running around a beautiful garden chasing the beautiful butterflies as soft giggles escaped my mouth. I was happy, very happy and delighted but suddenly the ground shaked,split and swallowed me as I watched the man looking at me calmly and my heart ached and tightened at the pressure of the gravity as well as my breath that didn't know how to escape from my injured lungs and I fell.
I woke up scared, I thought I was really falling, it felt so real .It was still dark I checked the time "4:50 am" It was so early in the morning and I don't think I'd be able to come back to sleep so I headed to the bathroom and washed my face, I looked at my face in the mirror as a tear shed on my right cheek, I felt so sick at what my state leaded me to, my head ached so bad as my brain flashed back to the memories from the dream I just had -Who was that man? I'm sure it wasn't my father this man is different- I sighed and relaxed myself a little bit and went back to bed and layed there and played songs on Spotify and as I was enjoying some of Fleurie "Your girl by lana del rey" entered my ears bringing back thoughts of mr. Arkhip -oh please not again- I closed my eyes trying to avoid him as much as possible -I wonder if he is married? Does he have kids? he looks old enough to have such life, I think he is 40 or maybe 39- my thoughts kept coming one after one back and forth without stopping till my head started hurting so bad and lana's voice became sharp and loud so I stopped the music immediately and forced myself back to sleep.
Life could've never been harder, could've never been more complicated and a disaster, but at least I had my people with me. Bernard was waiting for me in the faculty's hall with a smile on his face welcoming me ":Welcome back hun". he greeted me with a kiss on my cheeck, "Shut up." was my only reply, yes I kind of regret my decision of coming back to him, I know he hurt me but I cannot handle being apart from him anymore no matter how hard I tried, we spent most of the morning together because Naomi was still angry at me but I wanted to spend time with Bernard too, besides he was too nice to me at the moment so I enjoyed myself more, I think I can forgive him after what he did, he was sorry anyway and he promised me he won't do such things anymore, yes I believed that and I don't care if he was lying or not I loved him and being next to him was all I needed, to me that was true love.
It was evening, and my first lesson was classics which is mr Arkhip's class, I didn't know why I was a bit nervous but I pushed the feeling aside, I sat infront of the teacher's desk this time I'm gonna focus on the lesson, last time I kept daydreaming about nonsene. A few minutes later the door opened wide and mr Arkhip entered the class with books down his armpit, he greeted us and sat at his desk organising his supplies for a moment then got up and started walking through the classroom with his hands behind his back and started his speech :" So... Have any of you visited Denmark before? A beautiful place right? so our lesson today is something near Denmark and related to one of Shakespeare's works as well, can anybody guess?" Of course I knew what was he talking about I was interested in shakespeare since I was a highschooler and I have read most of his works specially his sonnets.
I raised my hand in matter to give him an answer. "Please go ahead miss Mariah."he mentioned to me with his hand "It's Hamlet it is named after the main character's name and the events took place in Denmark."I replied with a proud but yet a soft tone "Yes indeed thank you miss Mariah, As your classmate said Hamlet was the son of the king of Denmark it narrates the events of his father's ghost that told him to avenge his murder by killing the new king, Hamlet's uncle. Hamlet feigns madness, contemplates life and death, and seeks revenge. His uncle, fearing for his life, also devises plots to kill Hamlet. The tragedy ends with a duel, during which the King, Queen, Hamlet's opponent and Hamlet himself are all killed. Tragic isn't it? Yes because it's Shakespeare... So you my students as well as me are not going to only read the tragedy but to also analyse it look deeper in its major themes which we gonna talk about later and finally we gonna discuss the moral of the story, what did Shakespeare want to report us through this tragedy..." He kept talking and talking nonstop I liked his voice so much it was husky with a bit deepening in it, it was soft but at the same time manly, it was like music carresing my ears, he seemed very interested in Shakespeare by the way he was talking about Hamlet, he was an english teacher after all.
Even though an hour and a half passed I didn't get bored, I enjoyed the lesson so far, he really knew how to make you focus and enjoy the lesson at the same time -oh please I'm obsessed already- and as I was daydreaming about this man infront of me he distracted me from my thoughts "Miss Mariah I hope you are still with us?" I froze at his words I felt a rush of embarrasement through my spine as my stupid classmates started laughing at me, I cleared my throat and answered him :" Yes sir, sorry I spaced out a little." I answered him with a shy tone that made my classmates laugh more -I fucking hate them-" cool next time please pay more attention I don't like my students to not focus on my lesson." I nodded and apologised -oh lord what the hell is wrong with me-.
The bell rang so loud in my head announcing us that the lesson is over, it was my last lesson today.I packed my things and walked to the door but my professor stopped me saying he needed me for a word I was surprised at first and then felt nevous wondering if he was still upset with my attitude minutes ago. "Breathe" he leaned closer to my face demanding, I was confused "huh?" was all what escaped from my mouth. "I heard from teachers that you are a good student and as I noticed a while ago that you are interested in classics am I wrong miss Mariah?" he stepped aside -what does he mean? why's this question?- "Yes actually I'm so interessted in classics and I read alot." I answered " Very good and smart of you miss.. I was thinking of launching a club of reading that matters this kind of litterature, as you can see adults nowadays ignore about it and doesnt find it interesting anymore, also it can be fun discussing and suggesting such type. So I was wondering if you were interested in joining us in this petite activity?"
Oh god He talked a lot but I liked it so much, his voice and the accent he spoke it was unfamiliar but I found it warm and calming and the way he was gazing at me was catching my breath and sticking it down my lungs, he was too attractive for a man at his age I still wonder if he is married or has kids, -a club?.. Well why not? I have nothing to do anyways and it can help me alot improving my skills and maybe my marks- I wondered for a moment while he was waiting for my answer, he looked me in the eyes; he's got some dark blue eyes that can drown anybody that gaze at them they were capitivating. "I said breathe Mariah" he ordered.
I came back to reality immediately and answered him"Well yes, I am interested mister thank you. When and where can we start?" I saw a smile slowly appearing on his face -Oh lord..- "Glad you accepted my request miss Mariah, I'll report you soon the place and the time, See you tomorrow and have a nice day." He offered me his hand to shake and as soon as I held it I felt shivers down my spine, his hand was warm and a bit larger than mine and his grip was hard and strong. He shook my hand and offered me to quit the classroom first and walked with me the hall as well, He was too nice to me and it was clear he was a real gentleman from the way he called me miss and the way he offered me to quit first with his right hand leading the way and the other one behind his back. I watched him carefully, his hands as they moved by the ryhme of his talking and his face's features as they changed with the subject he was talking about.
I had no idea what he was talking about, I was busy watching this beautiful man next to me. Someone calling my name distracted me from my thoughts and it was Bernard -Holy shit- He came right away towards us and greeted me forgetting completely about mr Arkhip next to me -Yes, it's Bernard- "Um, Bernard meet my new professor mr Arkhip he is a very nice man, professor my boyfriend Bernard.".
"I didn't know professors care to walk with their female students through the haul of the university instead of minding their activities with other professors. So nice of you mr. Arkhip."
I couldn't believe what the hell Bernard just told my professor in that moment, that was so embarassing! Mr Arkhip's expression changed by what Bernard told him but he answered anyway with an unfamiliar tone, not the nice one he was talking to me with a while ago, it was scary.
"Thank you Bernard, Nice of you too taking a good care of first year female students that's so kind of you." I didn't know what to do they looked at each other like they were going to attack but I acted fast and gave both of them a smile and waved goodbye to my professor and left with Bernard.
"What the fuck Bernard! That's my fucking professor are you insane?" I was so mad at that moment, so mad at the disrespect he just showed for my professor. "And why the fuck would he walk with you?" he answered me with the same energy. "It is none of your business! I am not supposed to tell you everything that goes in my life so know your own place!"
"You fucking bitch I own you if you don't remember! You should know your fucking place here understood?" He replied to me with a harsh tone as he grabbed my arm hardly.
I was surprised and scared at the same time so I just nodded and looked him in the face horrified. "Good" and by that he left me there shocked at his new behaviour -Why would he act this way all of a sudden?-.