This week has felt like it lasted a year, thank the lord it's Friday. I am so exhausted and fed up, I just want to go home and sleep for 48 hours straight. Still a few more hours of work before I can climb into bed. Right now I was headed to the conference room on the 2nd floor as we were gathering for our monthly staff meeting.
I step inside the room and I'm greeted by Rebecca, one of the junior attorneys here, she's the sweetest. I wish we were on the same floor so I could see her more often. Even though these days it's not so bad but the first year at Jefferson was really lonely and depressing for me. That could also be because my boss was an entitled prick who bullied me every chance he got?
"Maria hi!" She embraces me in a hug.
"How are you?" I ask as we pull away from the hug.
"I'm great, you?" She smiles, showing off her perfect dimples.
"Pretty good, I can't complain." I smile at her.
"I love your skirt! So chic" Rebecca's gaze falls to my skirt.
"Thanks, I got it from Shein can you believe it was only $8?" I do a little twirl showing it off.
Rebecca gasps,"Get out no way!"
"They have the best products for the cheapest price" Why do I sound like I'm being paid to promote them.
"Oh I'll definitely check them out" She smiles as Nayel walks into the room.
"I'll catch you later" I smile at her as we move to our seats.
As always, I walk towards the front to take a seat next to Nayel and I see Winston sitting there, smiling as always sitting a seat away from Nayel.
"Hey, I saved you a seat" Winston grins and I swear I heard Nayel huff.
I smile, "Thanks" taking a seat between him and Nayel.
I look over to Nayel and flash him a smile and he gives me a sly grin which was very uncharacteristic of him.
After the whole kiss thing and then apologizing to me, Nayel has been on pretty good behavior all of this week. He hasn't yelled at me once which is a record, he sometimes makes small talk which is huge for him, he smiles sometimes and doesn't roll his eyes every time I open my mouth. He's been keeping his word of trying to be nice to me.
The sleeves of Nayel's navy blue button-down shirt were rolled up neatly to his elbows, his gaze was on some documents as he was going through them. His hair has never really been this long, it's not long from the back but from the front, it falls down covering most of his forehead, his hair was not styled back today but just messy. His jaw was clenched as he was focusing on the documents. The light was directly hitting his face making all his features pop. I don't know why I was admiring him but I was, he's such an attractive person. Especially when he's not saying anything.
Nayel looks at me from the corner of his eye, catching me staring at him. He furrows his eyes playfully a smirk appearing on his lips. I blush and quickly avert my gaze to something else. I need to calm down.
....
The overall staff meeting was finished but we were still in the conference room as Nayel wanted to go through last week's trial with Julie and Winston. However, he had graciously offered us a break as we had been stuck in this room since 11 am and now it's 2 pm.
I was just doodling on my notebook, lost in my thoughts when Winston turns to me, "Didn't know you were an artist" Winston grins to himself looking at my notebook.
"Hahaha," I say rather uninterested.
"Is there anything you can't do?" Winston looks into my eyes and I just shrug not knowing what to say.
Nayel was still sitting next to me on my other side, I wish I could turn my chair and spark up a conversation with him. Just because I don't know how long his nice guy thing is going to last and I just want to know what's going through his head. Who is Nayel? Why is he the way he is? He's been a decent human being to me for a week now so clearly it's not something he's incapable of doing so why doesn't he do it all the time?
"I had a great time with you last Saturday" Winston looks at me eagerly.
I nod, "Me too" dreading what was about to come.
"We should maybe do it again sometime," Winston says shyly as he drew circles on the table with his index finger. I could tell he was nervous which made me feel so distressed that I'll have to turn him down.
"Sure" I flash him a fake smile and turn to Nayel, hoping he starts the meeting soon. Nayel was grinning to himself as his eyes were glued on the screen.
"How about this Saturday?" I turn back around to see Winston staring at me with hopeful eyes making my stomach drop.
I swallow the lump that was forming in my throat, "Hmm I can't this weekend"
Winston smiles, "No worries, whatever works best for you just let me know"
I could just not say anything and pretty much get away with this but I don't want to led him on or hurt him so I gather up the courage, "Actually Winston you're so nice and cool, you might be my favorite person at work but I have a lot on my plate right now, I'm just not up to dating or seeing anyone right now. I'm sorry." One of the things I might have on my plate is feelings for my boss because he kissed me that one time and now I can't stop thinking about him and admiring him and just wanting to rip his clothes off any chance I could. I'm pathetic. And maybe just horny. But mostly pathetic.
Winston still had a smile on his face but I saw his eyes drop for a second, "Hey no worries at all. I understand. I'm here for you if you need anything" he says. Why is he such a nice guy? Why can't I ever fall for the nice guy? Something is fundamentally screwed up in my brain.
I smile, "Thank you"
"Let's get started with this shall we folks?" I turn around to see Nayel opening up his file, he was smirking, I don't know why. He looks up and for a second our eyes meet and he flashes me a smile which made me feel warm and tingly all over for no reason at all then gets back to his folder.
What is happening to me? Am I really catching feelings for a man I couldn't stand to be in the same room with alone less than a week ago because I despised him so much? Now, I still can't stand being in a room with him alone but that's because I'm afraid I can't control myself and will throw myself on him and beg him to do whatever he wants to me and my body. I am so feeble when it comes to him. Ugh.