" You know, I used to be a girl. It's strange how I fell for you who's a girl too. It was my first time feeling this, the feeling of wanting to put my dick inside a girl I just met. Is this what my rapist felt when they violated me?"
SAY WHAT NOW?! You loosened your grip to say those words?! Seriously, what are you confessing to me right now?!!.
" . . .Well, it's probably because I used to be a guy, that's why. But about your broken dick, I've got zero connection to it! Now, let me go!!! I'm killing myself!! " I said as I struggle to push myself out of the window. To think I'd kill myself now that I escaped death by being engaged. . . Stupid.
" I see. . ."
I shivered from those two words that made his lips slightly parted. He was pondering.
Wait, huh??? I'm flying??? What the. . . He's carrying me this easily?! Then why did he pretend to have a hard time stopping me kill myself?!
Ack!
" Hey! Why'd you throw m-"
What. . . Why is he looking at me like that for. . .? I started scooting back while he crawl his way to me.
" You look yummy. . ." He said, licking his lips as he stare at me hungrily. . .
" H-hold on! Y-you can't be serious!" I said. I reached a dead end, no choice but stop him by pushing him off, but why isn't he budging. . .? " T-this is illegal! You can't just fuck someone you're not married to!!" I continue, continued struggling. Ahh. . . Holy on. . . It's like saying we can do it after the wedding. . .
" But I was violated by three married guys, my uncles. I guess that's what I get for being born mute and beautiful (with a sexy body), so I don't blame you. " He shrugged. Saying it like it's nothing.
I was stunned, speechless, and sorry. Those are words you're unable to utter unless you mustered enough courage and trust. . . Or maybe he just want to win me over my conscience. . . . . But. . . Huh? Did I mishear some parts?
" . . . I'm sorry. . . B-but! Just because you've been through that, doesn't mean you should do it to others!" I said. My hands were already intertwined with his, I can feel them trembling, scared of what will happen next.
" But I like it. " He said, tilting his head. His eyes that look straight at me were cold. . . And dangerous, a beast in the dark, trying to act vulnerable to trap me.
" This is r@pe!!" I shouted.
" Yeah, sex without consent of another is called that. And I like that." He. . . Did he seriously just said that. . .? " I can't?" He asked, looking at me with sad eyes.
I stopped struggling.
" Is it grudge against men? I turned into a woman though. . . " I closed my eyes, I don't want to see those genuinely sad eyes. . . But I don't want to be harrassed too.
" No, to my previous uncles, yes. It's just that. . . Whenever I'm with you, this happens. . ." He grabbed my hand and placed it to his angry snake.
" . . . . . . . . Uh. . . . . Why . . . . . Why do you have a boner?!!" I quickly retracted my hand, he flinched , my action results to something scary. . . He looks extremely aroused now.
I tried escaping but he caught me by my feet.
" Oops, where do you think you're going, after turning me on? " He grabbed my hands and pin me down.
" Y- you're crazy!!"
" Maybe I am." He grinned. . . I closed my eyes tightly. He stopped. Is he calming down? I opened my eyes to look at him, he's smiling smugly. . . " I'm handsome. " He said with the same annoying smile. I was stunned by his narcism. He let me go and laid next to me. " I'm handsome, but why does it feel like you don't want to be fucked by me? My uncles said 'as long as they're handsome, panties are pulled down, and dick thrust in' "
. . . . . . . . . . . . I sometimes really don't know how to feel about reality. . . .
I sighed in both relief and disbelief. I laid more comfortably on the bed and said:
" They're wrong. There may be some, but there's no way every single one can be on the same boat. There's a reason why it's said that two head's are better than one. And please don't speak like that. . . I may have talked like that too if I were back to being a guy. . . But in this day and world, no one speaks like that. " I said. He was quiet. I looked at him and was amazed. Ocean deep eyes look at me with innocence, just like a child when he discovered the meaning of his life. . .
" Seriously. . . ~~~~~~ " He said. Eating his words once again, shaking his head with an amused grin.
" Will you quit it?! Stop eating your words." I said, snapping. Sitting up on the bed, glaring at him. He may have become a man now, but his habit of eating his words reamained. I knew because of my habit of observing people, especially the girl I like, they usually do that when they want to say it but doesn't have the courage to take responsibility of what's going to happen next by uttering irreversible words.
" . . . Sorry. It's just. . . I fell for you all over again."
. . . . . . Wow.
The way he averted my eyes when he apologized. . . Then look back with a serious tone and eyes as he confess. . . I don't know what to say. . .
" What a womanizer." I mumbled.
" You're the first girl to make my dick rock hard. . . How mean of you to call me a womanizer." He protested. . .
I looked at my wrist and laughed.
" What a terrible liar you are. The bracelet tatto is still here though. " I said. Showing him my wrist where the bracelet tatto is seemingly saying 'Hi'.
Kissing the palm and licking the fingers slowly, he looked at me with hunger.
" I'm hard," . . .he said. Making me look between his legs. . . And so, knowing it is true. . .
" Not my problem." I said.
" You're not going to help a damsel in destress? How mean." He said, pouting. Still not letting go of my hand.
" How can a damsel have a male genital?" I asked.
" Tsk,"
. . . . Did he just. . . . . . He looked away and clicked his tongue. . .
" At least just help me with your hand. This is the first time it became so lively, so I don't know what to do. . ." He said. . . I don't want to. . . But my guts never once betrayed me. . . he's telling the truth. . .
". . ."
" . . . I get it. . . You don't want to. I'll just sleep it off. You can leave or go outside, this is my fortress and outside is my fief." He said. Saying it pitifully. . . As if I'd fall for that. . . . . . . . . . . .
". . . ." Urgh! For Pete's sake!
". . . Does it hurt?" I asked. . . . . . . . . (Sigh) me and my stupid conscience. . . . . . .
" Not as much as when they first ra-" I covered his mouth. Him, telling me about his past life's tragedy repeatedly is the reason why my conscience towards him is like this! He became my weakness. . .!
" How many time are you gonna stab my conscience until you're satisfied?" I asked. Removing my hands over his lips as I stare at his cunning smile and cold eyes.
" Until you let me have you, ALL. OF. YOU." He said, rising and pinning me down once more.
He's crazy. . .
" . . . You're not resisting?" He asked, his face literally asked me 'Are you pitying me? How naive. '
" If that'll make you forget your horrible past. . . Do as you like. " I said that. . . but I just don't want to see someone as sad as me in the past. . . It's just like saying the things you want to hear to someone who you don't want to be as lonely as you are.
While thinking about the past, I heard a faint sniffling. I removed the hands that I use to cover my eyes to see if he's crying, but another hand covered them up, a bigger one.
" Don't look."
" Are you crying?" I asked teasingly.
" I think I'm in love. . ." He said with his voice shaking, a voice of someone crying. . .
" Haha," I let out a soft laughter.
. . . . . . . . . . . . .
With that, I've lost my virginity.