⸢"Yu Jung-Hyeok, were you able to protect everything you wanted to protect?"⸥
These words always echoes in my mind...
Was I able to protect, what I wanted to protect?
I who tried to save the world, I regressed almost 1864 time, but I always failed.
I failed, I failed, yet failed again...
Then like a 'Miracle' something changed.
Something that didn't happened before in the past, something which felt too different from the very start.
In all those time I regressed. In the first scenario, it was always 2 people who survived beside me in the next box of train, but this time it wasn't just two... It was 5.
Five people survived even without killing any other human, 'what a joke!' Is what I thought.
Then I got angry by looking at you, I wanted to kill you, and so did I... Like a joke I threw you to become the meal of sea serpent, like a psycho I smirked when you cursed me.
After thinking I got rid of you, I was finally thinking that,
'It was nothing, it must've been a bug, this round too is nothing but going to be in vain.'
And like usual I was yearning for my death, but you survived. You appeared alive like a ghost in front of me,
That it was unbelievable.
I had only one goal, after failing many attempts of saving the world, my goal changed and I just wanted to kill everything, everyone and then die peacefully. Yes 'My Death' was my final goal.
So I glared at you with killing intent so that you will be scared of me, and like other pests you'll stay away from me. But you still Aproached me, told me to make you my companion. Not only just companions but 'LIFE AND DEATH COMPANION' on top of that.
{'Companion' Hah! Don't make me laugh... Companions bunch of free loaders, clinging to one another just so they can survive.}
Yes that's right. After losing the sanity, to me word 'Companion' hold no more meaning, rather I felt like,
'yes we can use eachother'
And when necessary I will sacrifice them as once I sacrificed myself for them to reach the end. Word Companion left nothing but bitterness in my stone like heart.
But when you introduced yourself, you as 'Life and Death Companions' with myself, my heart for a minute second felt something... something like stingy sensation passed through my cold heart...
No one knows me, once I regress everything will change but only I remember those painful memories... Only I'll remember everything about everyone. And I will once again witness the deaths of those who'll share the journey with me. I always thought...
「 Once the regression begins, everything will go back to the beginning. 」
「All my companions will lose their memories and my history is erased. 」
「Then everything will repeat again. 」
「 What am I...? 」
「I am the only living thing in this world. 」
「 I am alone. 」
But then miraculously my thoughts were interpreted,
「"Alone?"
"What did I come here for if you are alone?"
"Why are you alone? When you died like a fool in the Theatre Dungeon, when you cried over your dead little sister, when the prophet stabbed you in the back! When your loved one gave birth to a child...!"
"You went crazy after your child died!"
"Fighting against the demon kings and the returnees!"
"Helping people and fighting against the damn reincarnators! When you finally stood before the constellations!"
"Look around you and try to live somehow!" 」
For the first time in hundreds of life I've lived, I felt like someone knows me. Who remembers my forgotten past and knows about my upcoming future, Someone who knows about me more than myself...
My heart clenched and it felt like I'll find myself, the me I desperately forgot and buried thousands years ago. I was afraid I'll find myself if I look into your eyes. If I stay with you I'll become greedy to live again and I didn't wanted that to happen. so I ignored you, but I couldn't.
Whenever I was feeling lonely, depressed or anxious I unknowingly searched for only one person, only your presence calms me down, as a Strom was prevented before it could even start... Without ME realizing YOU became my only 'SALVATION'.
But you... Indeed you were different. However lonely or depressed you were, you never leaned on anyone, and yes! When I realized The Salvation Of Mine have no one to depend on I tried to approach you.
But no matter what I or others tried there was always a wall between us, that seems to mocked me saying "Know your place, it is not 'you' nor any another man or woman can approach a person who already, long time a go had given up on himself. "
I wanted to prove it wrong... I stretched out my hands as long as I could, so that I could pull you out of the abyss but, I failed...
By the time I reached out towards you, you were already gone. You who came in my life to protect my world, ended up changing it completely and giving me another heartache...
I failed Kim Dokja, despite your help I couldn't protect 'My world' since I failed to protect you.
Everything changed, nothing remains the same. I should've realized it soon. The day instead of 'two', when 'seven' people got out off 3707 train box, I should've realized sooner that my world changed too.
I thought I was finally able to protect the world, but when I realized that you are not anymore by my side, that's when I realized...
You was 'READER' and you chooses to loved the 'STORY' more than your life... As you saw that damn FABLE as you SALVATION.
Even in the end your last words, What I remember were about that damn story...
■ "It was really a great story, isn't that right?" ■
[I the 'Main character' you looked upto whole heartedly, the 'lionheart' you always imitated when you were alone, the name you called out when you were in pain, the 'hero' you wished to be like.. The only reader of my boring, repetitive struggling, frustrating, and saddening Fable. Yet as the 'Protagonist' I failed, I couldn't protect you, my only well-wisher and My only (Dok-Ja) 'reader' of my story.]
Still... I not as the 'Protagonist' but as your 'Life and Death Companion', I want to Thanks you... For making me realize...
■ " Every life is a story...So THANK YOU for being a PART of MY STORY." ■
~Author's note: It's HGK_WRITES. Hope you enjoy reading this one-shot 'Letter' type thanks giving in Yoo Jonghyuk's (POV). I always wanted to see Yoo Jonghyuk expressing his feelings to Kim Dokja, however it didn't happened.
So I tried writing and hope you guys enjoyed it too... since English isn't my first language, if you find grammatical mistakes please lemme know, I'll try correcting it.