After having breakfast done by everyone, they all were ready to leave but Hana still had her hair in a mess. Hotaro took her upstairs to fix them. She had a red bag on her back filled with the books and other stationery she will be needing today. To say that she was excited and nervous at the same time won't be a lie.
"Onii-chan, what if I mess up my introduction? What if no one there likes me? Wha- "
"Nothing like that will happen, Hana, I am sure of it," Hotaro said making her face forward as he was styling her hair. "When did you start worrying about all this?"
"I won't worry about this if you were with me but you said even you have school. What will I do if I messed up?" Hana asked slouching her shoulders in dismay. "I want to make a good impression."
Hotaro lightly smiled seeing Hana act like a normal elementary schooler. He knew how nerve-racking it is for someone when they enter a place they are not used to. Meeting people you have never met and the thought of not making a good impression on them. To some, it's as easy as breathing air but to others, it's like climbing the highest mountain in all of existence. Which is under the sea.
The problem for Hana was not the fact that she had to go to an unfamiliar place. She is used to all that due to her parents changing her schools as they traveled. The thing was that she wanted Hotaro to be there and for an adorable reason too. She knew she would be good with the introduction. She just wanted Hotaro to be there and see that. So that he could be proud of her.
The girl is a lot smarter than any other kid her age.
"How about this? I won't be able to come to your class with you but when on the way back, I will take you somewhere outside to eat. Only if you behave," Hotaro gave a very tempting offer to the six-year-old.
Her eyes sparkled at this and Hotaro no longer needed to hear her answer. When he was finally done with styling Hana's hair, she got off the bed and extended her hand towards Hotaro. He smiled and held her hand as the siblings went downstairs where Akari and Hinami were waiting for them.
"You both could have gone before us you know. I still have to drop Hana at her school," Hotaro said only to be hit on the head by Hinami.
"Not just you, I am joining too. I would not want to miss Hana-chan going to elementary school for the first time," she said and took out something from her bag. "Look I even borrowed dad's camera to take pictures."
"But your sc-"
"I know it is a lot far from my school but I can just get there in time if I run. It's no biggie," she said shrugging her shoulder and Hotaro sighed. He knew he cannot deny Hinami now.
"I w-"
"Hajime-san, I don't think that would be a good idea," Hotaro said interrupting Akari. "We go to the same school and I don't think it would be good for you to be seen with me. We don't want others to know about our situation so it is a lot better if you go before us. It's a request. Please."
Hearing Hotaro, Akira shuts her mouth close and looked down clenching her fists. She knew what Hotaro was saying was correct. It won't be a good thing for the both of them to be seen outside school together. They already had an unsaid contract of not telling anyone outside of their families and Hinami's family about this situation they were stuck in. She knew that full well but Akari still couldn't help but say that.
The reason was simple. She felt guilty, unlike the other bullies in the school, Akari who just started all this never really thought things would be this serious. She didn't particularly like Hotaro back then but she wouldn't want to get anyone in too much trouble. It is quite contradicting from before where she felt nothing towards it. Mainly because she knew nothing about Hotaro. Nothing at all. At that time.
But right now it was different. Even if a bit, she saw a glimpse of Hotaro's personality which made her overcome with guilt. Her sleepwalking was not a usual habit but more situational. Whenever her mind was restless when she went to sleep, things like this would happen and she knew that.
"I…see…" she said and then turned around facing the door. "I will be on my way then."
It did surprise though. Two days. Two days was all it took for her to change, even if a little but for the better. Then again, big or small, changes do happen. Some sooner than others.
"Hotaro did you seriously forg-"
"Hinami," Hotaro interrupted her and pointed at Hana. "Let's get Hana to school then."
"But I want Akari-nee-chan to also join us," Hana said looking at the two.
Hotaro and Hinami looked at each other and back at Hana who was looking at them with pleading eyes. Sadly, for her, Hotaro is quite quick at adapting.
"Hana, Hajime-san has something to do so we can't do that," Hotaro said and Hana increased her pleading level. Just by the way she looked at him. "I won't budge this time. I can't do just everything you want. There is something that is impossible and you need to understand that."
"Okay…"
"So…we have ten minutes left to reach Hana-chan's school. Do you want to get her late on her first day?" Hinami said.
As those words left her mouth, both the siblings barged out of the house and Hinami followed them before letting a little smile on her face seeing them.
'Man, I am so happy to have them as my neighbors,' Hinami thought.
Hotaro quickly locked the door and ran out of the house with Hana holding his hands. Even if he was running as fast as he could at the time, Hana was able to match her speed without much difficulty. Poor him.
"Oi, oi, we will get in a year there if you run like that. Move your feet Hotaro. Your feet!" Hinami said jogging beside him.
"I'm trying!!" he complained.
"Onii-chan is slow," Hana said.
This line hit Hotaro like a train and something snapped in him. He bent down picking Hana up in his arms making sure not to mess up her uniform and ran. Faster than he had ever before in his life. Just a bit faster than he was running before…but it was a lot for him.
Hinami kept jogging beside them.
When they were finally able to get to the destination. Saying that Hotaro was dead would not be wrong. He was breathing hastily, holding his knees and with sweat falling down her head. Since it was getting colder, the sweat was not too much but it still was visible on Hotaro's exhausted face. Hinami handed him a bottle of water which he downed in just one go.
"How….much…time…left?" Hotaro asked and Hinami showed her the time on her phone. They got there just in time.
"I don't think there will be time for photos right now," Hinami said sighing. "We will have them taken later then."
"Eh?" Hana whined. "But I want to take photos right now."
"I'm sorry Hana but we can't do that right now," Hotaro said and looked down. "Because I was too slow."
"No, no, no, no, it's fine onii-chan. Even I wanted to take photos later with you," Hana said trying to cheer up Hotaro and he just chuckled and patted her head.
He then stood straight and held Hana's hand and started walking closer to the school gate where stood a school teacher. Unknown to the two, Hinami stood behind them and quickly took a photo of them holding hands walking towards the gate. They looked at each other with a big smile on their face and the moment was captured on the camera forever.
"Fuji Hana?" the teacher asked and Hana nodded. "So, you came with your big brother?"
"Yes!" she said happily.
"I will be leaving her in your care then ma'am," Hotaro said letting go of Hana's hand and bent down facing Hana. "Now Hana, remember to be a good girl and behave. I will come and get you after your school gets over so wait for me. Don't go with anyone else unless it's Hinami or Julie-san. Is that clear?"
"Yes," she said and Hotaro got up straight and Hana waved at him. "Bye onii-chan, I will be waiting for you here."
"Okay, bye," Hotaro said and started walking away.
His and Hinami's schools were in the same direction so they both joined each other and started walking together. Hinami told Hotaro nothing about the picture she took of the two. She kept it a secret for now.
"So Hotaro do you seriously forgive Akari?" Hinami asked Hotaro finally. He said nothing and kept walking. "Hey, say something."
"What is there to say Hinami?" Hotaro replied with another question. "What is there to even forgive?"
"Are you kidding me? Don't give me that. Even you know what there is to forgive for. She was one of the bullies, wasn't she? Then why do you not do anything about it?" Hinami ended up shouting gathering the attention of the people around.
"Do what? What is it that I can do? Kick her out of the house? Is that what you are implying?" Hotaro replied in a more assertive tone.
He left Hinami speechless and they kept walking towards the school. Hinami wanted to say something but the moment she looked at Hotaro, his eyes would wander somewhere else. It was intentional and Hinami knew it which hurt her even more. Never in her life, had she hidden anything from Hotaro and the same thing was from Hotaro's side but right now, Hinami could sense it. No, she knew Hotaro was hiding something from her and it was very big.
They parted ways at the four-way and kept walking to their destinations. Hotaro let out a long sigh and grabbed the strap of his bag. He knew the reason for this. It was about him Afterall, no one knew Hotaro better than himself. Not Julie, not Hana, not Akari, and not even Hinami.
The thing was true, Hotaro just couldn't hate anyone and he knew himself. He is not happy about it since there are so many things he wants to hate in his life. His condition, the bullies, his parents…the list can go on if he wanted to but he knew he just couldn't. The reason behind it wasn't too complex. It was rather a simple reason and yet a very confusing one.
Hotaro couldn't hate anyone in his life and he knew that because there was something that took up all his hate. It was the only thing Hotaro hates and that is enough for him to not hate anything else. Honestly, who can? Once they hate this thing, there is nothing else they can hate.
The thing Hotaro hated the most in his life…was himself.
That was the answer to all the questions asked about Hotaro. Why can't he hate anyone? Why is he able to forgive Akariso easily? Why he had never accepted a girl's proposal even when there were some he actually liked?
All these questions had just one answer.
Hotaro hated himself. More than anyone or anything. He detested his existence and one could say it wasn't even his own fault. It was the condition he grew up in. Where according to him everything wrong that happened to him was his own fault, even when it wasn't. But changing this mentality of Hotaro was not an easy task. Not at all.
The answers to all questions were hidden inside the heart of the person in question. The person who refuses to let out the reason no matter what. Doesn't matter who it is.
Not even the ones closest to him.
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