Vanilla.
Even with the fact that I had not answered them immediately, Mistress had sent them all off to clean for lunch and explained to me that they all would accept whatever answer I gave.
Even if it was a no, which she had said was okay.
But I didn't....
I didn't want to say a no.
It's just....
'You demonic thing! How can you like a woman?! That's.... That's the greatest sin of all!'
I can still feel the whip on my palm, the blood as it dropped, her furious gaze on me, the sting of it....
The fact she made me say the rosary prayer with my bleeding hands and blood all coating over the beads until Aunt had come for me.
I still remember everyone's taunts and voices as Aunt took me out.
'Did you hear? She likes girls'
'She must have seen me naked one time. Only heaven knows what she must have thought'
'A freak would always be a freak'
Even Aunt did not accept it but she had not said anything about it.
The scars still remained, they still were white on my skin that was why I tried my best to always make sure I was covered as much as possible.
They made me ugly.
I was ugly.
But I could tell that it really was not just about my feelings anymore.
The boys they....
I wake up to roses all over my room and quite possibly a naked Cream, that believes a naked him and roses are the most enticing things to walk the Earth.
Or waking up to breakfast in bed by an overeager male that would do anything to see me smile.
Or Coco drawing different images of me, which were mostly of me sleeping and smiling...
Or Ber.... Leaving notes in different places for me....
'You are beautiful'
That's what they always said.
And this morning, Mistress presented me with a new phone, Coco already saved the boys numbers how himself but she has asked me to save hers how I wanted.
Coco had saved his as 'Prince Charming'
Mel as 'Shy meow'
Cream as 'Creme de la creme'
Ber as 'Mr Grumpy' which fit him perfectly.
I changed Coco's to 'Wagging tail puppy'
And when he found out, he had licked me again.
"You ready?" Cream asks as I nod, putting my bag over my shoulder and walking out of the house, Mel's hand in mine.
Lately, they all made sure I didn't ride with Coco ever since he had said we made out but with them.
Ber and Cream at the front, Mel and Coco with me at the back.
But today....
Today didn't feel okay.
As we get to school and Mel helps me out of the car, Cream says "You've been looking worried all day"
I just sigh "I.... I don't feel good about today"
Ber smiles, brushing away some strands of my hair "Maybe you're sick or something"
I pout "I'm not sick, I just... It feels bad, okay? And I know how that works"
"Would you walk with us today then?" Mel asks "You've... You've never done that"
"Would you let Ari walk with us too?" I ask.
Coco groans as Mel widens his eyes, Ber drowning and Cream sighing "No. We don't like Ari"
"Why?"
"He's competition" Ber says as he grabs me and pulls me into his arms "Literally, don't you know nothing of how this thing works Nilla?"
I feel myself begin to get goosebumps as I say "Let.. let me go, we're in school"
"When you say yes to us, we would all kiss you here" Cream says "So see this as a warmup"
I blank "What? All four of you?"
Coco seems to think "Well we could all pick a part of your body to kiss. Dibs on her ass though!"
What?
Mel sighs "Please, let's not get me an erection again"
Cream faces him "We could fix that"
As he blushes, Ber finally releases me and I move away as he says "I guess we can let you go to him, we do not have you"
"Yet" Cream says.
I want to tell them that's not the point, that I really don't feel comfortable but I just sigh and walk away, hearing Mel say "Okay Cream, I think I'd need your help. Why does her ass jiggle like that?"
I suddenly clench my legs together and reach Ari who is raising his eyebrows "What's going on?"
I just grab his hand "Let's go"
But the feeling doesn't even go away during any of the classes we have and even Ari notices the look on my face but I brush it off, hoping it dies down.
With Mother, I had learnt how to recognize or feel when things could happen when it shouldn't.
When something bad could happen.
Like when she had tried to....
I clench the crucifix around my hand as I say "No, I can't ignore it"
Ari and I are heading towards the roof when I say we should go to the cafeteria "But... But that would be weird. You know everyone would stare"
I don't let him talk again as I begin pulling him back hearing him sigh but not argue with me as we walk.
When we reach the cafeteria, my hand still around the crucifix, my eyes dart around for the boys until I see where they are and my heart pounds.
Window....
They're next to a window.
I find myself walking to them, ignoring the stares, ignoring Ari calling me and reaching their table saying "Get up"
All four look up at me, confused, Ber speaking first "Well, this is new"
"Window" I say "Stand up. Please. Please stand up"
Coco nods "Yeah. I remember, she doesn't like us near building windows, except cars I noticed"
"It's okay" Cream says.
"No it's not!" I snap "The feeling is way worse now. Just stand up! Please, I can't.... I don't want to lose anyone else"
That gets their attention.
They're all standing, Cream pulling me into his arms as they all move out "Calm down, okay? It's...."
The glasses on all the windows suddenly burst as an explosion rocks the building, all of us falling to the ground.
A siren like noise feels my ears for a while as I notice the stones and glasses around us.
When I can get a more clearer view, I see Cream above me "Vanilla. Are you okay?"
My head rocks as I sit up, noticing the blood on his head, reaching out for it "You're..."
He holds my hand in his hand and kisses it "It's fine. Are you hurt?"
I nod, turning and finding out that most of the students were screaming and hiding under the tables....
Ari!
I search for him and find him holding unto a wall but fine.
I breathe out in relief.
"That was.... Loud"
I turn to Mel, crawling to him and hugging him "You're okay!"
I can hear the smell in his voice as he says "Yeah, you too"
As we hug, my eyes are closed until I open them and my heart drops.
Chocolate....
I pull out of Mel and crawl over to his body that isn't moving, dust all over and touch him "Co... Coco?"
No response.
My heart begins to race as I hold his hands and say "Please. Say something. Anything..."
Nothing.
I feel the tears as I mutter "I beg you, don't..."
His eyes suddenly open as he sits up and says "Ha!"
I punch him before I can stop myself.
He shrieks, holding unto his nose as I move away from him "Are you crazy?!"
He pouts "It was just a joke though"
"It wouldn't be a joke when I actually kill you!" I suddenly hear myself snap "That.... That wasn't even funny!"
"Sorry"
Cream helps me up, a small smile on his face as he says "Calm down Tigress"
I pant hard as Mel helps Coco up who is still pouting.
Ber is on his phone, saying somethings I can't make out as he finally hangs up and reaches out to all of us "Are you four alright?"
Everyone nods and his gaze rests on Cream, his eyes feeling with worry "Cream...."
"It's alright" Cream says "What did Mistress say?"
"She says we should come home" He says "Now"
"Vanilla, how did you know about the fact we were going to get hit?" Ber asks.
"I don't like people staying next to windows" I say.
"The whole wall is even gone"
I turn and notice that he's right.
The whole wall and window was broken down.
When we get home, Mistress hugs all of us, kissing each person over their face as Mel takes Cream over to the kitchen and cleans his face, coming back with a plaster on his face.
"Your parents called and asked for you four" She says when we are all sitted.
Coco is next to me because after the stunt he pulled, I suddenly couldn't bear him being an inch away from me as Ber says "What for? They usually forget our existence"
"They believe you're being targeted" She says.
"But that's never happened before" Coco says "No one in Vnio hates us that much"
"I doubt it's a matter of hate love" Mistress says "It's shocking that they are not here yet, but still, there is still some research going on about it"
"What if they weren't going for us but Vanilla?"
What?
All eyes fall on me as Mel says "That's impossible. They... No.. They can't"
"It was after she was at the window they fired whatever they had" Cream says "Like they were sure she would go there"
"I don't sit at windows" I say.
"But we do"
All eyes fall on Ber as he says "Everyday actually. They must have played with your fear and care for us to aim"
If thats true then....
"Whatever you're thinking, stop it" Mistress cuts in "You're safer here than any other place. I'd get to the bottom of this, but I'd like it if the boys are always with you, just in case"
"And we actually want to do that, just so you know" Coco says to me "It's going to be a favourite past time hobby"
I bite my lip.
How...
Why would anyone even want to hurt me?
I'm not.... I don't have any....
"Nilla"
Mel is in front of me, smiling "It's like a book"
"A book?" I whisper.
"Our lives were perfect, probably too perfect" He says "But we knew something was missing. Like a part of puzzle. I mean, you could get what the picture was without the puzzle, but we... We just needed you. You're literally a part of all of us"
"Thought I was the only one that noticed" Coco says with an eye roll.
Mel ignores him and says "You can be shy like me, or playful like Coco, or quiet as Cream, or as we saw today, as feisty as Ber"
"The fact you even called me feisty Mel" Ber says with a sigh "The audacity of it"
"And you have Mistress's calmness too" Mel says "You're.... You're us, and it's just so nice, to be so complete, you know?"
Coco suddenly crushes me into him "And whoever is tryna kill you would definitely die by my hands!"
"Our" Ber says.
"I second" Cream adds.
"No one's killing anyone" Mistress says "But if it gets to that, I won't hesitate"
"But..."
"We love you Vanilla" Cream says "You'd get used to it"
They....
They love me....
"Can I... Can I say yes now?"
There's silence, but Mistress talks first "No"
I look at her "No?"
"The boys have only shown you the emotional and physical side of what being with us could be" Mistress says "You haven't seen the sexual"
My eyes nearly bulge out "Sexual?"
"We have sex" Cream says as Mel blushes and Coco giggles.
"And I'd rather you see what you're up for before you agree to this" She says.
I bite my lips "When?"
A smile comes on her lips "What about now?"