Aquanaya was back.
I could feel it in my mind, feel Alderhawke and Aithnaton's recognition.
That was why I had not been able to summon an ember of flame, a speck of earth. I did not realise how much I missed their presence, craved the comforting hands on my shoulder. But what I didn't realise most, was how much I missed my magic, the feel of it spark at my fingertips. I missed the feel of it slumbering inside me, for although I had two gods at my back…
The power was truly inside me. I used it. I used it to destroy a demon. And that was terrifying.
She appeared in a swirl of water and crystal and gave me an icy smirk. "It took you long enough to figure it out,"
It hadn't been that long, had it?
"No, you seem to not be able to tell. It is nightfall already. Or did you think it was always so dark in my kingdom?"
Her mocking tone might have made a lesser person blubber or run back to their mother. But I was on my own now. My life belonged to me. So I held her steely gaze, wreathed my hands in flame that didn't burn, and told her, "I passed your stupid test. You inferred there would be…at least some kind of reward."
She smirked, "Do not think I have not an ulterior motive. You are dancing a fine line, do you not think I could smite you into little teeny-weeny bits." She pressed her thumb and forefinger together to show it. "—for your insolence? As for information…I should think you have everything already that you need to know."
I wanted to stomp my feet, cross my arms and spit in her face, but instead I held my head up high. If she had nothing for me, then I would leave.
"Not so easy, star," she purred, "oh no, I will tell you everything, for the debt I have to my brother-gods, Alderhawke and Aithnaton. And I will tell you how I came to be in their debt. Do not be ungrateful, because we always have a purpose. We have in mind only the preservation of this world, but lives must often be sacrificed to keep the peace."
"All of us are born from the Womb of the Mother, but Alderhawke and I were blood brother and sister. While most gods are simply living forms of pieces, flakes that fall from her eternal soul, Auralainei was born of the air she breathed out, Aithnaton of her gentle warmth, and we of her sharp mind. The humans got one thing right, though they forgot the details over millennia. We are the Thought-Stealers. "
"I have no true debt to Alderhawke, as no blood siblings do, but he granted me a favour that I must repay. We wished to stay together, to rule Kirasea on our own, together, when Nyoraia deemed us fit to rule worlds, and he agreed to talk to Nyoraia for us, knowing we would likely be separated anyways. He risked death, the humiliating, slow torture of a god's death, by doing so. But instead of destroying him along with me, she banished him to the confines of the earth, and I to the confines of the ocean. There will be a day, Chandani, when we are reunited, and we can return to the place we came from."
"But Aithnaton was a different story. Fire and water, polar opposites, we were not destined to be together. But he wanted me with a passion, and I yearned for him to be mine. We were not two puzzle pieces that fit together, but we cut pieces out of ourselves to make it work. Together we could be the force that finally crushed this flawed world and built the next. I was so bored of the worlds I had been assigned—particularly this one. I could see that there was so much potential in this world of ice and storms and fire and earth. It was so uniquely beautiful, humans so intricately talented, the beasts wild and fierce and untamed. But there was one flaw—the never-ending greed of your kind."
"I was cunning. He was kind, and I loved him—what is it that your family says? Even when this world grows ancient and withers away, when even our souls become but a whisper of dust between the stars, I will love you?"
I nodded without even realising. "Yes," I breathed. "My mother used to say that to me," my voice was barely a whisper. I repeated so quietly that anyone else might not have heard, "even when this world grows ancient and withers away, when even our souls become but a whisper of dust between the stars, I will love you."
Aquanaya nodded slightly. "I loved him as no other immortal had ever felt for anyone. He—we dreamed of a better world. That we could create together." The tendrils of water she was absently weaving through her fingers changed suddenly as if tuning themselves to her thoughts, every droplet now a shimmering bead of light. Picking through them like a collection of crystals, she tossed them up, so that they hung in the water like tiny, twinkling stars miles under the sea. She looked at them with longing in her eyes, as if she could imagine a warm arm across her shoulders, a fiery power thrumming by her side, gazing at the galaxy together. "A better world,"
An unknown force took over me, my arms going slack at my sides, and I found myself finishing,
"A world where magic thrives,
A world where life is flush with goodness,
A world where destinies are made—
A kinder tomorrow
That we could make.
A brighter future."
In that moment, I didn't even mind that something, someone had used me, spoken through my mouth. Well, I did mind, but just as annoyance buzzed deep inside, a voice spoke in my mind. Forgive me. I had to speak to her once more. Aquanaya deserved it, deserved perhaps the anguish that came with hearing those words again, but more the reminder of the only one who had ever seen her as an equal.
Aquanaya smiled slightly, like she could hear the voice that had whispered those forgotten words into her ear thousands of years ago.
"But enough of that. We are over now."
I knew what she meant to say, though. We were forced apart. It was a wonder she didn't look at me with hate in her eyes.
"It was not…really right, the pairing we changed ourselves to create. You see, there was once when I was the favourite Elemental, an infinitely worshiped goddess. Every coastal town had a temple of me, and offerings of fair young maidens were made to me. I did not delight in those sacrifices, so once I received them, I gave them life and sent them back. They always possessed small smidges of my power and called themselves Children of the Water. They thought themselves better than even the Gifted I had chosen to bless with my power, and often became priestesses who served in my temple. Their needless boasting was what took me down."
"There was one group of them who wouldn't forget me. They begged me to make them like me, for they claimed they couldn't, when they really wouldn't, fit in. The showed off their powers so much that even the people turned to them, believing them to be easier to seek out for help than I." She paused, and her lip curled in disgust. "They begged me to take them to my underwater world. I don't offer that to just anybody." She stared at me unflinchingly.
"But they insisted. So I took them, made them able to breathe underwater, and I brought them here. So much for their worship of me. They took one look at the dark stone," she gestured to the buildings outside, "and fled. Back to the surface world. They were terrified. And they, the ungrateful brats, spoke to the other Children of the Water through their spirit-bond. They spread rumours. The people looked to them, trusted them, for how they bragged of being my children. They took my reputation and stomped all over it before tossing it into the ocean for me to fix. Literally. Temples were torn down brick by brick, when the cities heard of my supposed affiliation with the Underworld." She scowled. "I was so ashamed, Chandani." This was the most human I'd seen her, her stone, immortal heart melted for but a moment. Most human she might ever be, to confess and not hide.
"I fled back here, to the merpeople who would always be loyal, and I hid down here for many years. But I heard that the fishermen would not fish, that the sailors refused to sail, for fear of me. And I have moods, good and bad moment, Chandani, I have moods like any other human. I am like you in that way. We can feel too. But they hurt me, with their baseless accusations, because we the gods shunned Varyx millennia ago after he created those demons. Oh, I do wish we were born with the ability to forgive, though. He has spent forever repenting for and correcting his mistake. He is trapped in his realm, unable to leave lest the dead all walk out of their graves. Still, they tossed buckets of riazalcite into the water. And who knows where they got it from." What was that? Aquanaya continued, and I remembered that she could read minds. As if I could ever forget. "Riazalcite was forged eons ago by clever demons—the only substance that could harm an immortal. It's the only thing that can stop magic. The water diluted its power, but all of it is connected. It always flowed back to me, damaging my life force. So, after many years, many, many years, I begged the gods to help. Aithnaton would not see me, because of that damning metal which even he could not melt. But he helped me. He offered his assistance, as no other pitied or cared for me enough to do. He said that he was the one who burned my city into black stone, tainted my soul. He turned the citizens against himself, until I was whole again, and they saw me not as a monster but a good goddess."
"Oh, human minds. So easy to manipulate."
"But their favour has still not fully returned. I hardly ever get human sacrifices anymore, but when I do, I bury them in good faith and send them on their way. Now, Aithnaton and I, fire and water, we are outcasts. He is not arrogant, Chandani. The humans know nothing. He is wise, and warm, and good. But after what he did, all memories of his kindness, his great offering to the human world, were lost, and he is perceived as a monster. And I have been waiting for a long time to repay my debt. We cannot harm the humans directly, out of fear for Nyoraia's wrath. But I have not Gifted one since then, and Aithnaton only took in those with the most fierce, fiery and passionate of souls."
"Not for nothing, you must remember. For the injustice, the betrayal done to me by who I thought I could trust and in turn bestowed on my old lover. For this—" her voice seethed with an ancient pain. "—the greatest betrayal. That I will never forget."
"My power is collecting, star. Do you know why we would ever Gift mere mortals? We have too much time, that is why. We are immortal. We have much magic. We are all-powerful. We have our own boundless kingdoms. We are the most feared of rulers. I have too much hate in my heart to perhaps bestow a Gift on a human ever again and be rejected. My power is growing with the decades. One day it will overflow, and on that day, no one will be spared from the carnage. Be warned."
I saw something like tears glisten in the corner of her eye. And though I was angry, though I was broken, I felt sympathy for the goddess who had given but received contempt, the Elemental who had been worshiped and then disdained. I wondered, for a second, how degrading it made her feel to answer to me, a human of the race she despised, on behalf of just an old debt.
Before I could see her reaction to my thoughts, I spotted a line of moisture staining her pale face, saw in that moment the centuries of regret and shame pressing down on her. She saw me looking, and her lips forced themselves into a tight line.
"I will leave now. You will understand why I cannot stomach speaking to you." The words were cutting, but I got it.
Inclining my head to her, pressing my eyes shut as her irises began to glow, releasing that godly light, the rival gods in my mind whispered in my ear. A gentle reminder. "Wait," I cried.
She nodded, the luminescence fading from her eyes, motioning for me to go ahead.
I looked her in the eye as I dropped slowly to my knees. The crystal didn't sting my kneecaps this time, instead warm with a tender sort of heat, as if knowing what I was doing. I didn't even tremble as I clasped my hands together, bowing low. I could feel the intensity of Aquanaya's stare on mine. The Lady of the Waves, indeed.
I lifted my head to see her eyes rimmed with silver.
"Thank you," I murmured, putting as much humility and sincerity in my voice as I could.
The water goddess's lips tilted upwards just a little bit. Perhaps the first time she had made the expression in several millennia. It was enlightening, I realised, bringing a smile to someone else's face. I got up and returned the expression warmly, if a bit hesitantly, bobbing my head to her one last time.
I shut my eyes tightly before that dazzling light flared again, the power ricocheting around the room. Only a tiny taste of the full might of the immortal beings that governed this world—and, I reminded myself—and many others that had come before and after. This time, when I blinked my eyes open, the remnants of the gleam wove around the crystals left floating over the dais, a silver aurora glowing amongst the stars.
Just like that, I was left standing by myself in the crystal castle.
-----
A note floated down from where she'd been sitting on the crystal throne atop the marble dais.
You understand why I cannot stand speaking to you.
I turned the paper over, guilt beginning to blossom deep in my stomach at those words. Even if it wasn't my fault, I didn't think anyone should have the right to make a goddess feel that way. It was the work of people who had lived many generations in the past, yet I felt a little piece of that shared human burden weighing down on my shoulders.
You did this you did this you did this.
I did not!
But your distant ancestors did.
On the back of the paper, there was more. A brief explanation.
Aim for the eyes. You know whose eyes I mean. Burn them out and the evil disappears. But the human does not always survive. Your Gifts work now, unbridled by the demon that you destroyed. Learn to control them. You know the way to the Calbron Mountains. The books I have saved. Call for Arlow and he will take you to Laverrene and give you your supplies. I think I shall see you soon.
One day, you will meet one of my children, and he will tell you more. I am sorry that I cannot tell you myself. And—thank you. Don't give up on yourself just yet. Your destiny is intertwined with this world now. There will come a day when everything you know will go to ruin, and when all that is left is in crisis, you must remain standing.
I have not seen a mortal with a heart like yours in a thousand years. The world needs more people like you.
When you find what you seek, perhaps you can set about creating what I once dreamed of.
A better world.
Tears slid down my cheek, dripping slowly on the glass floor as I read her parting note again and again.
But why? I thought. If you truly hate humans so much… why guide me, why…
As if by magic, as if she was still watching, another few lines of script came into being on the paper.
For what it's worth, Chandani…for you, for Kirasea, I would not have you die when your time has not yet come. Even I would not wish upon you a terrible fate, when you have tasted so little of what life could bring you. As one who has come face to face with the unknown beast that is love…I wouldn't deny that to the one you are destined for either. Not when…not when you could be so much more.
I nodded slowly, tucking the note into my pocket.
So much more.
For a better world.
"Yes," I murmured quietly. Not knowing that the words I was about to speak would shape the entire future lying before me.
"I promise."
There was no signature.
I knew I now also had to find a child of the water. I wondered how that could be possible, if she had given up on humans long ago. But I softened a bit. The world needs more people like you.
I did not need that extra weight added to my burden. But oh, I would do what she wanted, polar opposites for once agreeing.
When I found that place where people like me could feel safe, I would make a place where everyone was welcome.
A better world.
A kinder tomorrow.
A brighter future.
I had promised.
I sighed, straightening up and wiping my hands of dust that wasn't there. I had no idea why I'd just vowed that again at the risk of my soul. But I had the inkling of a thought. There was a reason. Because I wanted to—wanted to build that better world.
A smile spread across my face as I called out. "Arlow!"