I couldn't believe it. I repeated the words over and over in my mind, turning them over again and again like a fragile package that had been thrust into my hands. This had to be a dream.
I could just imagine the gods laughing down at me for my wishful thinking. Not gonna happen!
In the space of only a tiny bit more than an hour, my whole life had been turned upside down. Mama had the Fire gift, which she'd somehow concealed from the world until now. That didn't explain, though, why I was also an Earthling. How could that be, when Kaleveh has only produced those guided by Auralainei? And then... I would most likely have to leave. I didn't want to leave. This tribe was my home. It always had been, and always would be. It always would be. My lip wobbled in spite of myself.
Deep down, though, I knew that Kaleveh was not the place for me. I'd always thought I'd find it in myself to leave someday, but I'd never thought it would be today. For my spirit nagged every time I looked across the sea; my heart yearned to find out what lay across that vast expanse of water. If you want it, come get it, it teased.
But it was still my home. It was mine forever, to protect and to love.
Father sat down beside me with a grunt. "You are leaving?"
"How did you know?"
"You have that look in your eyes. My beautiful daughter, your eyes are full of steel. What will you find out there, my star?"
I couldn't bring myself to answer him. There was undeniable truth in his words. I had to leave. I knew Mama could probably help me, but I'd be alright without them. They would be better off without me. They would. I had to believe that.
"What comes next?"
"There is a fork. It is up to you to decide whether you want to walk on the long road of pins and needles, or the shorter one of steel spikes and danger. Which one, my star? The one where every step forward will mean torment and indecision, or the one where every wall you must climb is covered with thorns?"
"Why, how strange it is that my daughter would want to leave after her dear Grandpa storms in after 19 years and asks you to go away, hm?" he teased. "Well, first there's the matter of leaving. You can come back, if you want, but you might not be welcome then. You know how territorial your cousin is."
Ricco. He, who danced with danger, was borderline disobedient, would rule.
"Plus, its likely we'll have to make up some nefarious—" he threw his hands in the air with a dramatic gesture, rocking on his heels "—lie to get people to believe that the heir Chieftess ran off, eh?"
I didn't say anything. Call me dull for not laughing at my dad's feeble jokes, but I wasn't in the mood.
"So what does happen now?" my voice cut through the air. Mama winced a little at the sudden query, and turned to me, rubbing her neck. She walked towards me as she spoke, plopping down on my other side. "Chandani, there isn't much we can do if you decide to walk away from your birthright, to protect until the end of your days. Look at your grandfather. He isn't welcome here. Not anymore. All we can really do is give you what you need and send you on your way."
"But I'm not Grandpa," I protested weakly. "I'm not walking away as someone who was about to be High Chief. I'm not going to come back and yell at Ricco's future children." I waved my hands in the air exasperatedly. "Or Narreta's, whatever." I thought of my young cousin, who had so much more to see of the world. The goodness in it. Whose eyes, once I left, would be forced open to the cruelties of life.
"But it will seem that way. Your grandfather left as a highly respected member of Kaleveh. People were disappointed, but they assumed he knew what he was doing. People forgot about him over time. You just came of age. Through whatever we can make up, they will still see you as someone acting on a child's whims. They will not soon forget this scandal."
Scandal.
Dangerous.
I knew that was the expected response, but I was still floored. This was all my parents were going to say. They wouldn't beg for me to stay. Part of me just wanted to erase the events of the past hour, wanted to go back to childhood. But there was no rubbing this out.
"This is life, Chandani. You're an adult now. You must grow up if you're going to survive. Never live, not with everything out there. You must survive." My father, my loving, wise father cut in, grabbing hold of my arms. I wasn't a sentimental person, not even close. Still, tears sprang to the corners of my eyes.
Mama smiled sadly. She stole me from Father's arms, and I was engulfed in hers, her billowing clothes that smelled of campfire smoke and vanilla. I felt like a child. The child I no longer was.
She released me and I stepped back. We all looked at Grandma, watching the ocean, who had yet to speak. A ghost wind pulled her hair from one side to the other, towards the ocean in front of her. Grandma's arms were locked behind her back, and she stood almost eerily still.
Today my life had been trashed and thrown in with the rubbish. But what of the High Chieftess who had once stared into the distance, the ember of love still burning somewhere deep inside her, waiting for her husband to come home?
Once. She had gazed wistfully out of every window she passed, once upon a time, waiting. Hoping.
Hoping no longer. Never again.
As if noting we had all gone silent, Grandma turned around.
It wasn't her beautiful, carefully wrinkled face, and older mirror of mine, that stared back towards me.
It was the empty eyes of a demon.