My life has been a continuous roller coaster. Wounded by the past and still trying to heal from it.

People may see me as the toughest but every block that I build has small cracks on it that's only visible to the people who's interested to see it closely.

I think, everyone has it. The dark side of our life which we strive hard to forget. It's like a phantom lingering in our thoughts. We may have learned from it, but the scars won't disappear immediately.

For the past years, I haven't been able to have a good night sleep as always, I do woke up with the same nightmare from the past and today has no difference, except that I have a weird feeling that something big is going to happen.

I took a glimpse at the window from my office and realized that it's pouring outside. I haven't noticed how bad the weather is. Papers are piled up on my table that has to be signed and fixed within the week. Its only four in the afternoon but the dark clouds made it look like its already past six.

I close my eyes as I lay on my swivel chair. I massaged my forehead as I saw the date on my table calendar. I sighed as the thought came into me.

"So, it's been ten years already..." I said thinking out loud as I exhale deeply.

No wonder why my day is a bit off. Today is her tenth death anniversary. How could I forget those nightmares?

My heart had suddenly thumped that I can't help but squeeze my chest. I've tried my best to calm down but the flashes of memory came like a bolt of small lightning that I can't help but wince. It's still painful, physically and emotionally. It's always been like this. Those memories are burning me like fire, slowly and painfully. When will I ever be free from this misery?

The sound of the siren, the rain, lightning and the vehicles outside are like the screaming voices of the city. Dark, and too many secrets hiding from the shadows that even justice couldn't figure out its mystery.

The deafening silence inside my office and the noises from outside made me more anxious as the same flashes of memories keep on banging inside my head.

I have no choice, I immediately pulled out the medicine in my drawer. I noticed the shaking of my hands as I immediately gulped the water on my table with the capsule that my therapist has been giving me from time to time.

I let go of a deep sigh as I close my eyes one more time, trying to calm down my nerves. Sometimes I wonder how I managed to survive and still have the courage to live even if I feel like I am a walking sinkhole, ready to be swallowed by the darkness any time soon.

I almost drifted into sleep as a soft knock on my door came into my consciousness. I opened my eyes right away as my secretary came in.

"Are you okay?" I immediately glared at him, he knows I don't want to be bothered with small talks especially at work. I have managed to survive ten years of torment because of my anxiety and I don't need anyone to look after me. He just chuckled at my reaction. He knows my mood so well.

He never comes inside my office unless its urgent. That's what I have instructed him from the start and so far, he haven't failed to oblige within his several years of service but he's a bit gullible sometimes.

He's smarter than he looks, tidy, diligent and if we're going to talk about charisma, he has it all. Not to mention how his surname immediately radiates the ears of ordinary people.

From all of the secretaries that I have hired, he's the only one who have survived this long because I have high standards among people. Call me weird but I hate making mistakes and I am not the kind of person who's easy to get along with. I only have limited friends in my circle.

He is taller than an average guy, a hundred and seventy-two centimeters or more perhaps? He's good-looking that I can't help but hear other ladies chattering around on how hot he is. I find it funny on how they instantly zip their mouths as I came through their radar.

What made them even more hilarious is when they made me look like I have a secret affair with my secretary. I literally laugh it out loud upon reading it on the blind item section of the newspaper.

Don't get me wrong, Riley is within the top predators if we're going to talk about the high standards of women these days. But he's too good for me and five years younger. I don't take relationship within work and within the same circle of profession.

I am not that numb not to notice him stealing glimpses at me sometimes, but I choose not to bother entertaining his admirations and I think he's already aware about the consequence if he took another step forward within my personal space.

We also became acquainted somehow because his cousin is my best friends' current boyfriend. Let just say that he's within the upper-class circle but he chooses to work his limb to be accustomed to the profession he wants. That's maybe our similarity, we may both want to be independent and not to rely on surname basis.

I like perfections, but when it comes to men, I like mystery and I want my gut to be challenged as well. I want to meet someone who can dominate or tame the strong personality I radiate.

And also, did I forgot to tell you that they literally call me a cold-hearted witch at work? Trust me, I know every inch of secrets that surrounds this building. I just choose to keep the gossip going because why not? The gossip is maybe real or not and I have no time to listen nor fix gossips.

Aside from that, it's a big win-win. I want to infiltrate fear and insecurities among people, its an easy way to win an argument as well. Knowing that the opposing party gets conscious whenever you're around.

"Okay, I'll try to stop asking you that question at work. So, good afternoon Professor Guevarra." He jokingly greeted me with a formal tone. He only greets me like that when we're around other people.

Though even if he's smiling, I can sense a little bit of wariness on his face and the thick envelope on his hand immediately took my attention.

"Yes Mr. Reed?" I answered with a sarcastic formal tone. He just smiled at my expression. "What's the matter?" I asked impatiently as he handed me the envelope.

"It's from your Brother." He answered after clearing his throat. I sat properly as I receive it from him.

"From Klaus Antonio?" I opened the envelope and the "Confidential" mark within the folders greeted me with curiosity. I immediately forgot my anxiety attack awhile ago. I am always a curious cat and mystery is my brain food.

My older brother never ever had asked me to do such confidential paper works within their company. He knows how I despise being involved in the family business. I already have forgotten being part of their golden cage, but now he has given me a reason to raise my right eyebrow.

"No." he hesitated to continue at first but he eventually said it.

"It's from your eldest brother, Mr. Warren Alberto Guevarra." He looks at me as he already knows my initial reaction upon hearing that name.

"What?" I let go a small sarcastic laugh. I was right. Something really big is going to happen today. "I don't know if I'll be glad to know that he's still aware of my existence. After ten long years. What a great way of saying Hi to his little sister." I scoffed at my thoughts.

"I should have told you not to receive anything from his name." I told him though I am really not expecting something from my Devil brother. If only I know he will come to me one day, I should've put his name on a block list. "And I shouldn't have built my office within his radar. If only Klaus wasn't adamant for me being here."

"Calm down, Samantha, there's maybe a big reason why he has given that to you."

"Don't give me that sh*t Riley. You already know how I despise him. Don't you know that this is the very first time he made contact to me? And he'll give me this garbage from the company that I even despise the most? You and I both know that the tallest building within this City – the Guevarra corporation, is made of his sweat and other innocent people's blood."

He knows a little thing about the issues in Guevarra Corporation or more likely the issues from my family, the family that never leaves the economic tabloids, magazines and newspaper headlines, the family that is always in the top five richest in the country, and the family that I loathe the most.

The only thing that makes me hold into using this surname is my brother Klaus. I almost literally change my name when I was studying abroad, but he didn't want me to. He's the closest brother I ever have. There were too many reasons to give up on me when I was in my worst state in life but he never did. That's why I owe half of my life from him.

He's always in the middle when issue arises within the family. He has a passion in fixing our family but it doesn't affect me anymore. I already have given up on fixing things that is impossible to fix.

I am a Professor in Humanities now, and a Chief Editor in a famous publication company. But after ten years, I can't still find myself forgetting those incidents. Small fragments of it still visits me in my dream no matter how many treatments I take.

"You may leave now Riley. Thank you." I told him with cold feet.

He only sighed and took his steps towards the door.

"I almost forgot." He faced me one more time. "Your brother's secretary told me that he had personally placed some notes inside that envelope." He said but I didn't bother to look at his direction. My thoughts are already clouded.

"I am just around the corner if you need some company." He said not looking at me as he closes the door behind him.

I took another big sigh. I let go of the folders and never bother to open it knowing that it came from Warren – my cold-hearted brother. That's maybe the personality him and I took from our deceased Father.

But Warren, maybe, is the worst. He's much monstrous than Father and he is the fiercest rivalry within the business industry. He had raised the bar from my father's reputation. I am not even sure if he ever had thought about the words of "family first" because business is always his main priority.

And because of that d*mn business, many people have to sacrifice themselves just to save that company. Including people who are very dear to me. I swallowed a big lump in my throat as I remembered her screams for help and how she calls for my name.

After that incident ten years ago, I oath to my tears and misery that I'll never ever go back within their cage. But now, here I am, staring at these folders. My hand is itching for me to know its content but my pride is boiling inside me.

My thought is telling me that I need to talk to my brother Klaus later after work.

*********************

I don't know what gotten into me but I brought the folders inside my car. I'm thinking of giving it back. Riley waved his goodbye to me as I close the window of my car. He walked with me to the parking lot but I didn't bother talking to him. I am still not in the mood for his chitchats and thankfully, he understood my mood so well.

The rain never stopped pouring that made my day even more gloomy. I was about to exit the underground car park when a guy had suddenly passed over. I immediately stepped into my brake to avoid crashing him.

"Sh*t!" I cussed as I stared at the guy in front of me. My heart is thumping so hard because of what had happened.

"Oh God give me a break!" I scream with frustration inside my car as I totally lost my cool.

Thankfully my car didn't hit him because he was still standing and staring at me like he could see through my tinted car. Is he an idiot or just flabbergasted?

The weather made it even darker to see. I hardly could have a glimpse at his face because he's wearing a black baseball cap and a black hoodie. All I could see is his well-defined jawline and lower lip.

I was just about to get out of my car to check on him and apologize but he suddenly took a small step backward after a few seconds of just standing there and then he runaway to the exit just like that.

"What a weird guy." I whispered and put on my seatbelt once more.

The rain was slowly stopping when I've hit the main road which is five blocks away from my condo unit. It's already past nine but the city is still lively as always. I stopped within the red light when my phone had suddenly rung.

I didn't bother to look at the caller and answered on my bt-earpiece.

"Hello, good evening. This is Professor Guevarra speaking." There was a moment of silent after I spoke. I wonder if the rain had affected the network connection of the person on the other line or he just didn't hear me.

"Hello? To whom am I speaking?" Suddenly everything feels eerie when I heard the soft breathing of the person from the other line.

I was about to pick up my phone to see the caller's ID when it suddenly spoke.

"Samantha Eunoia Guevarra." A slow and deep voice of an unfamiliar man had suddenly invaded my ears that I almost had goosebumps.

"To whom am I speaking?" I said holding into my patience and sanity. The light on the traffic went green as I slowly accelerated my car. The guy didn't answer but I could still feel that he's there.

Is he challenging my patience? Because I am not really in the mood today. There are too many things that had happened today that I cannot entertain one more stupidity.

"If you have nothing necessary to say, Sir, I'm going to take down this call. I am not a fan of prank calls." I was about to press the cancel button on my earpiece but my hand had paused in mid-air because of the words he has said.

"I finally found you." My heart thumped like it's going to go out from my chest.

"We will see each other soon." My mouth went open while my eyebrows meet in the middle.

"Wha--?" I was about to answer back but he just dared to hang up?! The nerve of this guy! You know what I hate the most? Leaving me hanging. My curiosity is raging!

"Sh*t!" I took a park at the side of the road and checked the number on my phone. My hands are shaking with rage.

But the weird thing is, when I've scrolled down my recent call history, there's no sign that someone had called me at all. I've checked everything but I only saw some old calls and all of it are either my clients or my closest acquaintances. The recent one was gone. Like the call never happened.

I think I'm going to need some old friends help. Something doesn't feel right.

"You want to play a game huh? Fine, let's play hide and seek, Mr. Mystery Caller."

I drove through the city thinking about the new thrill that's going to happen sooner or later.

- END OF CHAP. 1 -