Ivan's head spun to gaze upon Scarlet. The odd question coming out from her mouth felt strange.
As she tints her lips with a dark hue of a lipstick, he couldn't help but wonder if souls have colors.
And if they do… what color would his soul be? Raven and midnight black? Parakeet and juniper green? What do these colors represent? Does several cultures correspond to these?
Now that he thinks about it, why does fiery and currant red have to symbolize love and anger?
Why does frosty and pearly whites have to symbolize purity and emptiness?
"What's with that question? You're not usually interested in those kinds of stuff," Ivan answered softly. His undertone seized Scarlet's attention.
Scarlet ignored his remark. "Do you believe in God?" She asked again.
"It's... a matter of faith," He reluctantly answered. "I kind of believe in those stuffs."
"Such a cute answer. You really don't like being too honest, do you? If you could, I want a more determined answer coming from you. An answer which really speaks of you. Yours, Ivan."
"I believe that a god exists. But I don't like that god."
"You believe in that god's existence, but you don't acknowledge its greatness?"
"Something like that."
Plodding away, Scarlet took another set of cloths that was seemingly rendered the way lustful men want it. She deftly carried herself regardless of her negatively tainted reputation to a "god".
"How 'bout you?" Ivan's eyes obediently followed her actions. "You believe in a god?"
An ambiguous smile crept up Scarlet's feminine face. "Of course I do. I'd probably go insane if I don't believe."
"Why?"
"Well, if not that god… who's there to blame but me for this shitty life, right?"
"You're using a god to ease your flaws and mistakes? You're worse than me."
Scarlet let out a chuckle. Her skin accustomed in cosmetics slowly deteriorate against the firm and thick air. "I know. I need to go now, Ivan. Another performance starts in five minutes."
Ivan wearily shook his head. His stomach felt somersaulting as his heart collapse, wrung of disgrace after Scarlet's previous performance. "I wanna stay here. Please let me."
"Of course, sweetie. Magic words coming out from you really turns me on."
Scarlet returned to her work, whilst Ivan remained in the room to sleep. After her work shift, they went to the Cagan Hospital for a routine check-up.
August 20, 2018 (Monday) 10:22 PM Cagan Hospital
"I'll be talking with my doctor in private," Scarlet waved goodbye as she leave Ivan at the waiting area. "I'll be back in half an hour. This'll be quick, I promise."
Scarlet's heels clicked against the pure white tiles as she walk away.
Her fading image, turning to a void backdrop scares him every time.
Ivan always hated the smell of a hospital, the white uniforms of nurses, and the patronage of doctors. It was always a sickly experience, quivering his composure and squelching his insides.
His pulsating head restlessly lurked along his mind. Uncontrollably, he stood up and strolled away to appease the tinkling chaos in his senses.
His vision was directed straight through the cold and stark hallways. As he passed by a glass window, he abruptly halted.
Looking through the room, newborn babies lined up in rows and columns. Their distinct features, all reconciled with innocence and absence of trickery. Ivan was fascinated, his guilty pleasure rendering his heart to a sea of ecstasy.
His eyes focused on each one of them.
"Beautiful, aren't they?" A voice thawed upon sweetness seep through the small clefts of his heart. "Newborn babies are very beautiful because they're the paragons of blessing. An innocence in its physical form."
"They're all fortunate too. Their mothers knew the value of life."
The nurse gently nodded. "Everyone started with such values."
"Why does it have to be important? Life…"
The nurse looked at his side. "It doesn't have to be. It's just the way it is. Anything can be the foundation of life. You breathe meaning to it as you go about the world."
"But there's freedom. You've got the choice not to do anything."
"Well… do you really think you'll be free after doing nothing? Is that freedom to you?"
Ivan returned to the waiting area. After a few minutes, Scarlet finally came.
"Let's go to a café," She invited. "We've still got time."