"You don't need to worry about it."
"But still, be careful though."
Cain once again voiced out his concern towards me before he finally left. I stared at his back as he walked away and clicked my tongue. I really can't get used to his current behavior.
After the departure of the 'suddenly-changed-Cain', I continued my search for Captain Jullius' whereabout. I have come looking for him at his bedroom but he wasn't there. I thought he might be in the training grounds so I looked outside through the window but all I saw was two men,-who I have never seen before-, were engaged in a sparing with their bodies covered in dirt. Where did he go? I'm still unfamiliar with the headquarters' buildings layout. I was considering whether if I should go and ask Ortzen, but then I saw a familiar looking young man from afar. What's his name again… oh, it's Lathy.
"Lathy!"
Lathy who was licking his lollipop, turned his head to the direction where his name being called out.
"Ah, Older sister Silla?"
"Did you perhaps come across Captain Jullius?"
Lathy lightly shook his head then replied,
"I didn't see him but I think I know where he is right now."
"Where is he?"
"The underground pond. Whenever he encounters any problem, he's usually right there. I think he's much more comfortable in a dark place."
…, I wonder whether if he was ever locked up inside the dungeon when he's still a child. Although at that time he's just a child, it didn't mean the demon who received him as a sacrifice would fred him.
"Where is it?"
"Follow me."
Lathy beckoned to me to follow him and started walking ahead.
The young man who cheerfully lead the way, left me at the entrance and said he very much disliked the gloomy mood inside it because it suffocated him, thus I went down the stairs leading to the underground all alone by myself. At the end of the long staircase, there's a wide empty space that seemed like it was used to be a natural cave in the past. The air was a bit damp but it was refreshingly cool though? It's just a bit cold. If someone couldn't withstand the summer heat, this place could be used as an escape place.
"Oh! There's ice!"
Iceblocks! At the hollow corner of the natural cave, was stored many ice blocks. Whoah, so this place is an ice storage room! If I ask Miss Ira to make some ice cream, will she make it for me? After I looked at those ice blocks for a while without carelessly touching them, I recalled my original purpose for coming down here. I need to find Captain Jullius.
"Captain, are you here?"
After I left the ice storage room, I continued to go straight into the natural cave. As I went further inside, the humidity of the air increased, and I could faintly hear the sound of water flowing. Amongst the stalactites that hanged from the top, the mineral ores gave out some faint lights. The sound of the flowing water became louder as I walked, and soon after I could see a pond where all the clear underground water gathered. Captain Jullius was quietly curling up by the pond and he instantly raised his body up as soon as he noticed my arrival.
"Miss Epheria?"
There're many puddles of water all over the cave ground so I lifted up the hem of my dress a bit and made some small leaps to reach Captain Jullius' side.
"What are you doing here?"
"There's something I've to think about."
Something to think about? What could it be? I wondered what things Ortzen said to him. Or maybe he told Captain Jullius to reflect on his mistake.
"Was Ortzen mad at you? Did he scold you for doing something of you own accord? If that's the case, I'll look for him and take care of it."
I'll fight him and be prepared to be kicked out from the headquarters because of it. Wait, Captain Jullius will become more troubled if I do that. There's no one to replace Ortzen. Umm, how should I torment Ortzen without suffering any setback?
"It's not like that."
"Is that so?"
That's too bad. Captain Jullius looked at me when he's about to sit again, then he tore up a part of his sleeve. After that, he wiped down the wide rock next to the place where he sat before with that piece of torn cloth. Did he do that so I have a place to sit? How considerate of him! Look, Sofia! Captain Jullius is a very kind person!
We sat down next to each other while staring at the slightly waved water in the pond. Beneath the dark surface of the water, there appeared to be something white swarm inside.
Looks like there're some fishes live in there.
"Then, what are you thinking about?"
"Ortzen…"
As expected, it must be something related to Ortzen. Captain Jullius seemed a bit hesitant then said,
"He asked me to seriously consider about marrying you."
"It has come to this, so I might as well get married."
"Is that so?"
Captain Jullius heavily nodded his head in all seriousness. It's unexpected, I thought he would readily agree to marry me without giving much thought. But of course, I'm proud of him that he can voice out his opinion now.
"Captain, do you hate the idea of marrying me?"
He tilted his head to my question.
"It's not that I hate it, but…"
"If that's not the case, then why is it?"
"In the past, I was told that marriage is done with someone you loved."
"Well, that's indeed the best reason to get married and how it's supposed to be."
But of course, that kind of marriage is hard to come by. There're just too many obstacles such as the difference in status, race, wealth, and other various reasons including the possiblity of getting opposed by the parents. And the saddest thing out of them is having an unrequited love.
His pale grey eyes moved sideways then looked at me.
"Miss Epheria doesn't love me, right?"
Uhmm… that's right.
"I like you, but I don't think it's love."
Maybe.
"How about Captain Jullius?"
"I like you too, but…"
He tilted his head again and this time he faced the opposite side.
"Actually, I don't know what it means to love someone."
Love. I also have heard of it a lot in the past. Just by the number of the love letters I received in the past, I bet there won't be anyone who can beat me in this matter in the entire Empire. But despite all of it, my dating experience is an abosulte zero.
"I also have never experienced it myself, but I've heard many things about love."
So, if you fall in love with someone… I tried to remember the most frequently used expression that appeared in the love letters.
"Some people said, when you see someone you love, you can see that the other person is shining in lights."
"…, lights?"
"Yes. They said it's twinkling and shining brightly."
At first I thought it was due to my blonde hair, but they denied it. I heard, if someone fall in love, the other person is shining in lights. The ladies around me described it very well, so I thought it should be right… Honestly, I couldn't comprehend it well because how could the lights come out from an ordinary person. You know, they're not a Goddess.
"Lights, is it…?"
Captain Jullius mumbled in a low voice then looked at me again.
"At that time, when I saw you jumped off through the window from the inn's second floor, you were shining in lights."
"Ei, I think that's the sunlight. That day the weather was clear."
(T/N: 에이 (pronounced as 'ei'. The same way as you pronounce 'either') is a Korean expressions/sounds used when you're in doubt. I can't think of any equivalent English expressions. I almost use 'Aw' but it sounds sooo cheesy.)
"Was it really the sunlight?"
"Of course. It doesn't make any sense at all to fall in love with someone you have never met before."
"So that's how it is."
"That's right."
After all, how could you fall for someone you don't even know. In the end both of us nodded simultaneously.
"Then, it means that I'm not in love with Miss Epheria."
"I don't love you either."
Even though that's the fact, but somehow I slightly felt disappointed. Now that I'm not a clergy anymore and have an appearance fitted to my gender, I'd like to try dating someone even just for once. I want to date someone! That being said, I can't mindlessly fall in love to anyone just because I wish for it.
After we came into a conclusion, we fell into a deep silence and only the sounds of water flow could be heard. After a while, Captain Jullius opened his mouth again.
"Then, it would be better if we didn't get married. Perhaps in the near future, Miss will meet someone you love."
"And the same goes for you."
"I'm not sure. And also…"
Instead of continuing his words, a sigh was released from his mouth.
"… Even if there's someone I love in the future, it's unlikely that she will also like me."
"Why? I like Captain Jullius."
"Miss is an exception."
Ermm, actually that's indeed right. If it's any other woman, it would be hard to have a good impression on Captain Jullius. Even so, anyone could easily got used to him if only they put an effort to interact with him. I reached out my hand to carress the black hair whose owner was in a gloomy state.
"Well, who knows. Don't be too discouraged by it. Actually the nobles also find it hard to marry out of love. Most of them went through a political marriage while considering the gain and loss for their respective households."
"…, I've also heard of it before."
"If I have to do a political marriage, I think it's fine to have Captain Jullius as my partner. Just by looking at how eager Ortzen suggested us to get married, I think the marriage will somehow benefited Captain Jullius."