Aster. A flower that symbolises love. A child born from a prestigious family, named their daughter, Aster. She was supposed to be a symbol of love—however, it was just merely a speculation.
She wasn't entirely abandoned by her family. They were still paying for her expenses in a well-known hospital but visiting her? They never visited her nor even ask her how she was doing. The family were ashamed to even gave birth to her.
Aster never even met them nor did she even wonder what they look like. She didn't care.
She had a weak body, weak heart that her body couldn't last longer until at the age of 17. That was what the Doctor said.
Since she was abandoned, no one had truly cared for her. Well, except for the Nurse who kept visiting and taking care of her even when she was a child.
Laureen. That was the name of the Nurse that Aster never bothered to ask.
Throughout Aster's life, she never experienced love, nor did she ever love anything. More like, she never knew that word.
Yes, she might be smart. Even as a child, she had been attending a class from a private teacher assigned by her family. The teacher felt sympathy for Aster, though, Aster never knew about that. The teacher devotedly taught Aster until now. Then again, Aster never knew the teacher's name. He introduced but she didn't bother remembering it.
'How can these people stay with someone like me.. What is this feeling?' Said Astria in her mind.
There was uncertainty in her heart. She didn't know what feeling it was. She didn't know she was feeling glad that some people were willing to stay with her—she asked herself but she didn't give it much of a thought.
Yes. She was prepared for her death. She did even look dead inside and out so what was the difference? She thought. After all, a flower will wither when no one take cares of it.
At the patient room.
"Aster, you're really smart, I am amazed! You should go to school instead of staying in the hospital." The nurse, Laureen smiled. She was waiting for Aster's response but, she received silence instead.
"Uhh... Oh! Have you ever fallen in love?" She quickly found a subject to talk. She asked in a cheerful tone as she placed down the trait of Aster's bowl of medicines on the table beside the bed.
"No." Aster gave her a straight but weak answer—still wouldn't look at Laureen's eyes. She wasn't interested. She wouldn't be able to know what love was because, no one had ever loved her nor did she have loved anything.
The nurse pressed her lips together as she looked at Aster's dull eyes—eyes that had given up her life and eyes that had no interest to anything in this world. She was very skinny, pale skin and messy black hair—wearing a patient's cloth. Though, if only she took care of herself, she would grow up very beautiful.
Aster had no appetite to eat nor did she have a big stomach. Well, she didn't care. She will eventually die anyway.
Laureen's heart ached. Her face contorted and shook her head. She would then clench her fists. 'I have to show her my cheerful face!' Was what she said in her mind.
Determination was what was driven to Laureen. She quickly changed her expression to bright and positive although she knew Aster wouldn't look at her.
But, she still had hopes that someday, Aster could also spread her wings. She wanted to see her, live her life as a normal teenager... At least until she turned 17.
"Love is such a beautiful thing, Aster. A pleasant feeling and there are various of ways to express love!" Laureen said excitedly, though she was the only one who was excited.
"Is that so." Aster gave her a brief answer. Her voice was low and she didn't even have the strength to speak. But, she had been with Laureen for years that she had gotten used to her. Aster didn't know she was pitying her, she didn't know that feeling but she never shook that feeling.
'Why is she always coming here? I will die soon.. It doesn't matter.' Aster said in her mind.
The nurse shook her feeling and decided to talk more. She wanted Aster to be more comfortable to her.
She explained how love was normal to humans. How love used in so many ways. God. Friendship. Passion. Family—last but not the least was, about a romantic love. It did succeed catching Aster's attention. She glanced to Laureen then back to her previous state.
"Love.... It's complicated." Aster muttered. She had begun to feel interested. Laureen saw a glimpse of interest in Aster's eyes. Laureen's eyes widened and there, she found hope—hope in her eyes.
'This could be it!' Laureen said in her mind. She gave Aster a grin.
"What..?" Aster asked uncomfortably.
"You're interested, are you?" Laureen sneered as she moved closer to Aster and looked at her with a teasing face. Aster twitched and moved a little backward away from Laureen as she looked upon her with annoyance.
"...I-I'm not.." Aster darted her eyes away. She knew she was denying it but, she was indeed interested.
Love.. She often saw it on tons of books and it even had an explanation but she was indifferent to it. Because she never knew what that was. It was never in her vocabulary.
But the way Laureen told her. It caught her attention.
"Please do me a favour, Aster! Please go to school!" Laureen pleaded. She lowered her head, clenching her cloth fighting her eyes prickling with tears. She didn't want Aster to see it. She didn't want to wipe it with her hands thinking Aster might notice. She didn't want to turn away.
"For what? I don't need to go to school...." Aster's voice faded in sadness. Then again, she didn't know that feeling. She somehow didn't want to go to school because then, she will have less time to be with Laureen.
A sob rose in Laureen's throat before she answered Aster. "Don't you want to know what love is?" Laureen had finally pulled herself together. She looked at Aster with a genuine smile—a smile of a mother.
"..I don't want such a thing." Aster denied.
"Can you at least... Try go to school? If you can't find happiness there, then you can stay here."
Aster was about to retort but, decided to just give in when she saw Laureen's watery eyes though Laureen was trying to not cry, it was visible.
Aster wondered what happiness was. It was difficult for her to understand. She knew it was an emotion but that is an empty feeling for her. She couldn't also understand Laureen's pouring emotions. Why was she crying? Why was she looking at her like she was in pain? She didn't understand.
Aster sighed in defeat. "Alright. If I feel like leaving, I'll leave."
Laureen beamed in happiness—gladness was visible on her face. Aster wondered, 'What.. Kind of emotion is that. I want to know...'
"I will contact your parents— Oh! And also the head!" Laureen giggled very happily and Aster gazed on her with questions. She was finally gaining interest with what was Laureen's trying to say and those emotions she was letting out.
"I'll be right back, Aster. Later!" Laureen said as Aster watched her left the room—a private room for Aster. This room looked much more her room than an hospital.
Aster lowered her head as she looked down on her bony hands on top of her hips. She tried to clench it, she did but it wasn't hard enough. She was trembling, she was too weak.
She wasn't looking forward going to school. She wasn't expecting something good will happen. She was expecting the worst to be honest. But even so, she wanted to know what love was at least. Until her last breath.....