"Yes, I do need the street entirely blocked off for at least thirty minutes," Detective Dugglesworth told the traffic control officer, his irritation rising by the minute. It seemed as if everything had gone wrong that morning. His car had broken down half way to the site and he had had to squeeze into a Mini Cooper with all the interns. Then he had spilled hot coffee on his pants and had to cover the stain with an ill placed scarf, which really threw off the flow of his outfit. To top it all off, he had alerted several news outlets to come witness what was surely going to be a spectacular moment, but they were all talking to his assistant, Jack Baker. Dugglesworth supposed the young man did look the part, with his strong features and plentiful red hair and full beard, but he was the head of this investigation. He had slaved over it for years and he wasn't going to let some young underling take all the glory. With this resolve, Detective Dugglesworth stepped up onto a wooden platform at the edge of the designated manhole, cleared his throat, and utilized his most commanding voice to give the speech he had been rehearsing as he lay awake in his bed the night before.
"Ladies and gentleman, my fellow police colleagues, men and women of the press and screen, and all you glorious bystanders, may I please have your attention."
A thrill ran through Dugglesworth as everyone turned their eyes and cameras to him.
"You may be wondering why we are gathered at this seemingly insignificant spot, all crowded around a humble manhole in the middle of the street. But what may appear to be an inconsequential service-person's port is actually the entrance to an elaborate underground hideout that has housed one of London's most wanted criminals for over a decade. In a moment we will reveal this hidden space and hopefully apprehend the man who has evaded and stumped your very capable civil authorities for all these years. But first, let it be known that I, Detective Douglas Doogan Dugglesworth, was the principal mastermind in uncovering the unlikely whereabouts of this fugitive."
Dugglesworth scanned the faces in the crowd and was delighted to see that they almost all appeared intrigued. Even the chief of police had raised one stodgy eyebrow in interest. Jack Baker looked displeased, which was to be expected, as he had contributed quite a bit to the breakthrough, but Duggleworth would make it up to him with a fruit basket. He turned to the bulky street worker he had petitioned to lift the manhole.
"Fitzsimmons, if you'll do the honors."
The man grunted and bent down to lift the manhole cover. The crowd drew a collective breath as the heavy disc was flipped open. In a rare moment of unbridled excitement, Duggleworth abandoned all sense of self preservation and jumped directly into the hole. He fell a meter or so and landed in water, which, after it had settled, reached up to his calves.
His eyes adjusted from the dim light filtering through the open hole above and all he saw was a chamber filled with large pipes and some wires. He walked several paces to the right and left, inspecting the walls of the enclosed space. The stone work was phenomenal and the pipes were functioning, but there was no sign of James Hook, nor was there any evidence of someone having inhabited the small chamber.
The realization of his embarrassing failure hit him like a vat of ill smelling soap. Their information was wrong, and he had just made a massive fool of himself. He felt his dignity, his short-lived swagger, and his hopes and dreams of falling asleep whilst snuggling those Bengal cats slipping from his grasp. He wanted them to replace the manhole cover and just leave him down there to have a hearty cry over his blatant mistake. But he had learned that life (and most especially the news) was not merciful. A moment later a light shone down on the area, followed by a cameraman and a spry reporter, who looked around and smiled evilly at him, then signaled at her cameraman.
"Breaking news: Detective Douglas Dugglesworth has disrupted city traffic and gathered a mob of citizens to uncover a perfectly normal manhole."