Stoked by the performance of Mr. Gonzo, my eyes widened. It felt as if all of my excitement had accumulated in one place. Desperately, I wanted to speak but no words left my gaping mouth.
"Sit down!" Mr. Gonzo commanded. He looked down at me as I crossed my legs. "Good," he smiled. "Lets begin our first lesson. Clasp your hands together near the center of your chest and close your eyes."
Nothing... I felt nothing. Scrunching my nose and eyes together, I tried to concentrate harder, but still nothing happened.
"Umm... am I doing something wrong? I asked as I opened my eyes and gave up on focusing.
"No. Keep trying, but this time relax. Think of nothing. Clear your mind."
Closing my eyes, I tried once more. This time, I waited for my mind to go idle as my body fell limp. My body felt light and weightless, but it felt as if gravity was calling it to the floor more than usual.
"Good," the old man said in response to my new-found state. "Now, take a deep breath and hold it. You should feel an expansion within your body. Get familiar with that feeling. Try to visualize that breath you just took and how it flowed throughout your body."
Taking a deep breath, I visualized the breath expanding within my body and traveling down its path before making its return back out. It had a blue color and a shapeless form that whittled down at its end to a slicked tail that wagged back and forth.
"Good," he said. "Now repeat this, and focus on an emotion. Channel your energy into a moment that resonates with you."
I envisioned my breaths spreading throughout every inch of my body before returning to the center and continuing its cycle. Deeper, slower: I controlled my breathing. A scattered warmth floated within my body. Concentrating, my mind guided toward the memory of the fight back in Aerodom.
Despair, Anger, Desperation... those are the emotions I felt while my body marched on its own. The eyes of my aggressor were fierce and fear-inducing. The sheer difference in power was enough to strike fear in me, but still my body moved. Forcing myself to keep fighting, I fought against my body's screaming resistance.
My breath was heavy and my body was weary, but I had to keep going. The constant pressure to defeat my enemy was overwhelming. It felt as if my heart was going to explode at any moment.
Suddenly, I felt an immense heat. The memory had faded, but I could still feel my resolve from that time. The heat continued growing as the breath inside my body has transformed into a growing furnace. The blue color of the shapeless essence was replaced by a fiery red color of an active flame.
My eyes opened. It felt as if poison was coursing through my veins. I wanted to scream, but I remained mute. Anguish overtook me. Before my very eyes, small dark flames manifested between my hands. They appeared as if a sudden combustion had just happened. Dancing violently across the space between my hands, they threatened to spread if not contained quickly.
"Ares, stop!" Mr. Gonzo shouted out. He stretched his hand out at me at the emergence of the flames.
Startled, I broke concentration and the flames dissipated. Chills covered my warm body, and it was hard to find my breath. Sweat began to trickle down my skin. My mouth felt frozen in place as I huffed and puffed. Looking up, my eyes met the eyes of the old man. He looked disgusted and upset as if the recent encounters had shaken him.
"I think that's enough magic for today!" he insisted. "Now listen to me closely," he said as he got closer to me and grabbed me by the neck of my shirt. "For the sake of us all and even yourself, do not practice magic again!" he urged me through clenched teeth. The look in his eyes matched his strict and dire tone.
Almost paralyzed in fear and confusion, I nodded my head as much as possible. Our eyes finally unlocked as he stormed out of the room.
I laid against the bare wall with a feeling of numbness scavenging throughout my mind. I didn't want to think. I didn't want to move. I felt alone and confused. Instead of a red flame, a series of dark flames conjured in its place. But, what did that mean, and why did it upset the old man so much?