I wanted to throw my phone across the room as I saw the message again the following morning. But I couldn't afford a new phone. And it wouldn't solve my problem. Not that I couldn't delete messages, which I did, but that's beside the point. He shouldn't have asked, and he only did it because he was jealous, which again, he had no fucking right to be.
I shook my head, shoved my phone in my bag, tied the wrap around my waist and headed up on deck. It was a day at sea, so I was going to lounge in the sun, book in one hand and a drink in the other. And hopefully, I would see Howie.
And then, being honest, a part of me was scared at that thought. Not that last night wasn't great, because it was, and damn could that man kiss! He really had my heart pounding and I had a hell of a time trying to fall asleep, even with all the drinks flowing through me. They were better thoughts to fall asleep to than my ex.
I groaned as I slammed my bag down on the deck by the chair. Stop Theresa, that man wasn't worth your time. And speaking of, I took my phone out, glanced at the message and then smirked as I simply sent, 'can't, sure you've seen I'm on a cruise,', I screen shot it all and then deleted the messages. I opened my camera and took a selfie of me by the railing, overlooking the water and sent it to the girls, knowing they would be sending messages about being jealous. And on a whim, I sent the picture to Howie along with the message that he should join me with a smiley face. And before I could think twice, I hit send and shoved the phone back in my bag.
I sat down on the lounge chair and pulled my book out, along with my shades. I took my wrap off, laid back and enjoyed both the mild sun and the ocean breeze. After a few momets, I glanced up as I heard a whistle, part of me hoping just a tad that it was Howie and yet having that sane part realize it was just some guy. I rolled my eyes behind my glasses and then groaned as he sat down next to me. But before he could even utter a word, Howie stepped up next to his chair.
"This babe is already spoken for, go find some other chick to fuck or flirt with." The guy held up his hand and walked away. I smiled at Howie, looking at him over my glasses.
"My hero, and my first time being hit on for this cruise." He sat down but kept looking at me.
"Not all that flattering is it?" I tilted my head as I really thought about it.
"When done like that," I started as I slowly shook my head, "no, it's not. Maybe it's the delivery? The setting? I don't know, but yeah, wasn't cool."
"It's odd 'cause you would think any attention would be nice, and it sure doesn't hurt the ego, but it just doesn't feel right."
"No, it really didn't."
"Although, when you do look as sexy as you do…" I blushed and ducked my head. "Once I saw the photo, I figured I better hurry up here. It's a good thing it was my goal today anyway."
"Well, if you weren't, I had thought a book in one hand and a drink in the other while tanning away would make for the best time."
"You actually brought a book?"
"I brought three. Not one have I cracked open yet." I just laughed at his look. "Hey, when I said I was going to try my best to get drunk and avoid people, I was serious!"
"I can't say I know of anyone who brings books on a vacation."
"I do it all the time. Have to have them to read on planes or something. And yes, this was a vacation, but I was not wanting to have people contact. Come on, are you going to talk to a female who has her nose buried deep in a book?"
"Guess it depends. If it's smut or something, I might try and save her from the fantasies and offer the real thing." I cracked up at that and just shook my head. "Anyone ever tell you that you have an infectious laugh?"
"Once or twice, which I love hearing."
"Why is that?"
"I'm a people pleaser, so if I can make you laugh by mine alone, I feel like I've done a great deed for the day. Does that sound lame?"
"Not at all. Sounds like more females could take a page out of your book." I wrinkled my brows as I looked at him, something sounding off in his voice.
"What happened Howie?"
"Nothing major."
"Major enough; there's something in your voice." He lifted a brow at me in a silent question and I only shrugged. I was not about to get on the topic of how I could read people. "Come on, I've confided in your how much?"
"I got a text from my ex last night after I got in. Some lame thing about missing me and our good times and wanted to get together so we could talk and blah, blah, blah."
"Did you write her back?" I could not tell you, for the total life of me, why I felt I needed that answer so badly. But I did, and it was coming from my gut.
He sighed and ran his hand through his hair, which was unbelievably sexy. Okay, there was a lot about this man that was sexy, I can admit that. His gaze stayed out over the water for a few moments; almost seeming like he really needed to form or think about his answer.
"I wanted to, even started the message. Well, it's saved as a draft; I couldn't send it."
"Why not?"
"Part of me wants to talk, to get why I wasn't good enough. But then I started thinking about a time when someone had dinner with me and paid for the meal. And I realized that good women existed; that there are people who don't lie, cheat or connive.
"And that was exactly what she was doing. She had an out with whoever she was seeing and needed me and my resources again. People like her will never change so why waste my time even talking to her?"
"I think that's some progress on your part." He smiled as he turned and looked at me. "Guess it was the night for messages; Mike texted me too."
"What did he want?"
"A lay." Out of the corner of my eye I noticed Howie's hand ball up and his body tense up for a moment.
"Isn't he married?"
"Yup. But I guess he wanted me. He also knows I'm on a cruise, looking good and having an amazing time with a good looking guy; all of which he doesn't like." Howie wrinkled his brows and finally laid back in the chair.
"Well, fuck them both."
"I agree." I sat my book back in the bag and ignored the phone that was buzzing. "Howie?"
"Yeah?"
"Want to play a drinking game with me?"
"Depends. Do we have the chance to get drunk real fast?"
"Guess it depends on how much you want to lie or how much you want to be honest with me."
"I'm in."