Later that day, Borislav received a text from none other than his "full of crap" friend Edfone Jack. It contained a link to an official announcement on RoadToPhala's website, titled "Meeting Crackerjack F. Third Workshop.", with the description:
"This SATURDAY, Crackerjack F comes to give his third workshop for dishwashers to follow the long strenuous path to Phala ( or Shimga ). Are you a dishwasher? Or maybe of even lower status? Then grab this opportunity to ascend in the male hierarchy!
Time: 10 00 to 12 00
Location: JILK HQ, Vayner Avenue, 16th floor.
Entry Fee: 5000 pals."
Borislav knew what Edfone meant to say. It was confirmed by a second text saying; "You really need some good advice after next time. You should go Bo!". Bo didn't reply. He sort of blamed Edfone for the disaster with Mary, even though he mostly blamed himself. He also blamed Road To Phala's brainwashing videos for it, and thus wasn't very enthusiastic about paying so much for one of their "workshops". Although the price wouldn't really be a problem with his freshly filled Zitcoin wallet.
He went on to lay down on the couch, trying to think about other, better things; that is Nomia. Only now her mysterious notes came to his mind. The "him" she mentioned, the two angels...What if it had something to do with him, after all? It would explain her friendliness, her willingness to sit with him by a pond and watch a fat dog flap into the water, and how she acted as though there never was a vomit incident.
He realized that he didn't know much about her. The only time he saw her elsewhere than in the park was at that Drive-Out when she was sitting in the douche-mobile with King Douche and another girl. He hadn't brought it up when talking to her, and yet he couldn't shake it off his mind. Did she really not notice him that day? Or did she also just pretend not to. He didn't understand a lot of things. His mind just kept wondering; what if this "him" was him? He had never believed in anything supernatural, despite him having the power to shoot flames out of his body, and yet he felt something was magical there. He had never felt anything like that with someone before. Truth be told, he had never been in love. And yet somehow he knew, or thought, that his bond with her was more than just love. Cliché as it may be, he thought they were meant to be; he thought that he might be that missing angel, whose face she kept vandalizing with her pencil.
There was also the thought that this "him" might have been someone else. Someone he'd never meet, but who meant the world for her. It began to hurt as he got lost in it. He had never been jealous before, but somehow he knew, or thought, that what he felt was more than jealously. It was complete sadness. And so, he waved away these thoughts, letting them wander out the window and into the streets, where any soul walking upon them could have been this "him".
When Saturday came, his wish not to disappoint Edfone got the best of him. The Janitor no longer had a reason to talk to him after Bo got fired, and yet he still wanted him to remain his seduction partner. Bo probably had ruined his chances with Mary, showing up to this *initiation* workshop was the least he could do to make it up to him.
Borislav left the house around 9 45 am, not at all in a hurry since it was happening right next to Wallow Street. It took only 5 minutes of walk to get in front of the gigantic retrofuturistic building that was known as "JILK HQ". The welcoming hub was monumental, adorned with snow-white walls and chic overpriced constructivist paintings taking their lengths, He headed towards one of the elevators, available at every corner of the building's interior. Several young adults with bad skincare and greasy hair were crammed with him into the lift, as they all without exception headed towards the 16th floor. As the elevator's doors opened, they could see a giant glass-walled office, offering no privacy to its workers. A conference room was noticed through one of the walls next to the elevator, with a fancy poster saying "RoadToPhala's Workshop" plastered on it. A dashing young woman in a skimpy dress and wearing 500g of make up stood by the door, forcibly smiling. She was next to a well-labeled "money box". Many men were already sat in the room, eagerly waiting for the Crackerjack to make his appearance, including Edfone Jack.
Borislav went to get his entry ticket just like everyone else, parting with 5000 precious pals. However, he preferred not to enter the room right away. Something else caught his eyes. He went towards one of the only walls that wasn't made of glass; that which separated the building from the outside. Only two long windows were to be found, looking straight towards Walnut Wharf; and the two frozen angels in their globe. It was probably the first and last time Borislav would get such a good look at them, causing him to wish he had brought his camera with him. He could probably rush back home to get it, but it would be a waste of time.
The narrow-eyed frozen angels were holding hands, forming only one giant statue. It probably wasn't a coincidence that Vayner Avenue's buildings had such a good view of them; it was bound to beautify the city and be profitable. Borislav got lost in their beauty for minutes, which were enough for "Crackerjack F" to step out the elevator and call out the young man to come into the workshop. However, upon turning around, something that would disturb the course's course happened. Crackerjack F and Borislav knew one another. So much so, that Crackerjack F turned his back immediately and tried to reach into the elevator again. But it was too late, Borislav knew who it was. the "Pussy Magnet" tattoo on his head was discernable even from the back. "Fabius!" Borislav shouted, trailing the Crackerjack. Fabius was about to put one foot into the elevator and drop away, but Borislav's hand had already caught his collar.
"Hi, my guy... Imposing dominance I see! Congrats man! That was a test, and you passed it!" Fabius turned his head towards Borislav, cringing with his teeth. All the students looked at the scene through the glass, split on believing whether this was a test or if something else was going on. "What are you doing here?" Borislav asked, hoping with all his heart this wasn't *the* Crackerjack. Fabius grabbed Borislav's hand off his collar, coughing as he replied: "I am teaching all those fine, full of potential, dudes, how to seize the females.". Our hero frowned, realizing he had been following the advice of someone who never even had valuable experience. "This is. a ..scam." Borislav uttered, leaving Fabius by the elevator to go grab his 5000 pals back from the money box. "How dare you!?" a stranger's high-pitched voice pushed out from behind the glass box, "Crackerjack F has slept with 1000 females and made out with 3000, he isn't scamming anyone!".
Borislav was surprised to find somebody who believed in something, that to him seemed obviously stupid, especially about Fabius. "Is that what he told you?" he asked the greasy individual. This caused Crackerjack F himself to leap towards Borislav and whisper in his ear; "I'll give you 15% of my profits if you just leave right now. Mando, please." Who did Fabius think Mando was? A low-life scammer that would profit off of fellow men's romantic misery? No! Borislav was nothing of that sort. Dealing shady water-pills all around the city: yes, sure, why not? Lying to sex-deprived men for money: hell no!
He looked at Edfone through the glass, who was standing up and the only one on the verge of leaving. It was time to deliver the truth, for Edfone and for everyone: "This- guy hasn't made out with...3000 women. He's a- a clown!". Fabius tried interrupting with a "This is stupid, my guy.", but failed to stop Borislav's voice from imposing itself over his as Borislav continued: "Every girl I've ever met at work would laugh at him and reject him. He was my manager since I was 10, for 13 years, I've only seen him in a relationship once and the girl broke up with him after less than 6 months."
The dishwashers stared in awe; as though their whole life had turned out to be a lie. Fabius knew he couldn't deny Borislav's anecdotes about his past, and instead opted for conniving story telling. "My guy, you speak the truth of the truths. All of this happened", he looked down, shaking his head and putting his hand on Borislav's shoulder, before looking towards the Dishwashers and proceeding to softly utter; "It is the truth of the truths. I used to be just like you my guys, a Dishwasher. It was a looooong time ago when that female broke my heart-", "It's been 4 months!" Borislav interrupted, before being told "Let me speak, brother.", as Fabius went on with the storytelling; "When she used me, discarded me like a piece of trash, I knew I had to change. This is how I found *The Way* to become a Shimga male, and how I went on to sleep with 1000 females! Also Mando, it's been like 8 months, people do change in 8 months."
A glass-wearing nerd rose up from his chair in the conference room, shouting "8 months is equal to 34.76 weeks! This means that the Crackerjack has made out with 86.3 females and slept with 28.8 every week!", another voice rose up in awe to say "Wow! The Crackerjack's method must be really strong!", completely devoid of any sarcasm. Edfone seemed to not buy it, and neither did the girl standing next to the door, trying hard not to burst into laughs.
Borislav sighed, "This is bullshit. He's lying to you!". Fabius bobbed his head in disapproval, taking his hand off the whistleblower's shoulder, "See. You are not going to see me losing my cool with this hater, my dishwashers. He's just not like us. You're going to meet a lot of people like that, who are losers. They're such losers that they refuse to believe that we, winners, can win. Now I know you guys aren't going to believe him, if you do then get out of here and go cry back in your momma's basement!". Edfone stepped out of the room, headed towards the money box and grabbed 15 000 pals, the amount of money he had spent in total over the three workshops. "This is Bullshit" he said, as Borislav confirmed; "It is", before going into the elevator with his friend.
Edfone stuffed the money in his jacket's pocket as he looked down. He was both devastated and angry, just as Borislav was. It was really hard for him to resist barbecuing Fabius at that very moment. The two friends wandered out of the building, in complete silence. They looked at each other as they tried deciding whether to part ways or talk about what had just happened. They went with the latter. Edfone slammed his back against the building's wall, asking in a muffled voice; "Does this mean all of it is bullshit?". Borislav stood still. Crackerjack F was credited as the main author behind RoadToPhala's video scripts and programs after all. "I guess" he replied, sad to see the enthusiastic seduction amateur's whole worldview shatter before his eyes. "This is sad." the Janitor noted. "Yuh." Borislav retorted.
"If this science isn't a science, and all of it is false, then how can we seize the females?" Edfone asked, not really expecting Borislav to have more of an answer. It was nonetheless a good question; how does one *seize* the females? Borislav wondered, only to come up with another question; "Why should we seize them?". Edfone's eyes widened, somehow he seemed even more lost. "I-" for the first, he couldn't explain anything. He couldn't explain. His answer wasn't an answer, it was filled with doubt. It was a simple "Sex?", uttered in a cracked voice. Borislav stared away, giving it much more thought than was needed; "Why should we have sex?".
"It feels good," Edfone replied. "How do you know?" Borislav retorted, receiving an honest "I don't" from the Janitor in response. Bo was not as experienced with giving lectures as Edfone was, but his philosophical string of thoughts just had to be shared to reassure his friend; "In the far-off mountings of Zhanakya, there are monks-" he paused as a jogger passed in front of them, mockingly grinning as she caught this bit of discussion
. Once she was out of earway, he resumed; "They live all their lives eating only snow and insects, and they never speak." Borislav paused for a long time again, although this time nobody was passing by. Edfone looked at him abnormally puzzled, until Borislav made him understand this wasn't the end of his speech; "They don't masturbate. And they don't have sex. And they're considered the happiest people in the world by HappyMeter.org". Edfone still didn't understand why Borislav talked about Monks, simply answering; "Ok.". Borislav clarified; "The point is, uh- , you can not have sex and still feel super good.". "I guess" the Janitor replied, halfway convinced.
This was the last exchange before they bid each other goodbye, and Borislav went back home.