"Nikolas is having his birthday party at the end of this month. I'm hoping that you're able to attend his birthday,"
Carefully as I read the chats of Niko's mother to me. Didn't Niko tell his parents about our breakup, or was he still not in time to spill.
The wonder and thought of having him in my life before covered every pain in my chest. It's everyone has been a year and everyone was still so fresh for me that it couldn't be rid of so fast.
Minding that it won't be so good for us to stay together and be in the same relationship. I know, we know how hard it could be but what can we do?
There aren't times that my mind is full of him, everything that we've made up in both holding hands. It's like one click of the camera and it lost everything that made us forget what's with us.
What's between us and how could we fulfill our dreams if we decide to separate each feeling we had. We felt and we would feel for the rest of the years we'll spend.
I am not being too selfish by breaking up with him. That is one of the reasons that my mind made up on choosing that path instead of his path.
Let go of him, that's the only thing I could give and do. Just so we could save ourselves and build each other's trust again but in separate ways.
Sometimes I thought of having him back again in my life and just staying forever in his arms. Without thinking about others' words, thoughts, and opinions. How will we go to build ourselves together?
Part of growing is to give up each other and just let the world decide who would be yours in the future. Hoping that we could marry someone better for us and never looked down on how we parted ways.
I do love Nikolas, but the more our love keeps ongoing. It gives me more pain on staying in his arms letting my feelings fade and feeling out of love towards him. Niko is one of a kind, gentlemanly and so caring to me, and that gives me more hope of recovering all the feelings I felt at first.
Until I give up everything and this is how we have right now to each other. Every time my parents ask about having a good time with Niko. The only answer I give them is "We are busy, time and bond can wait." Thought the real answer is, we already parted ways.
Time still running, how can we tell our parents about us? Moreover, can't we just let each other forget this problem. Just don't bother to think about our parent's words to say if they all find out?
I put my phone in my pocket and ignored the message Nikolas' mother had sent me. His birthday would be finer if I'm not in there, don't want to go there and see Niko holding another hand. Knew what will his parents feel when they see me in that posture.
It would be nice if I don't accept the invitation her mother gave me and just focused on my studies. Simple greetings will be fine to Niko. That isn't big deal to him if my presence isn't present at his birthday party so his mom will understand.
"Heart!"
To my shock, I let go of the glass of water my hand had been holding lately. I turned to the person who shouted my name, my eyebrows were raised as I slowly rotated forward.
"Why do you need-- Niko !?" I startled in a shout as my feet step back to give us more space.
"Surprise!" He uttered a yell and hug me so fast like a lightning in the sky.
My body didn't move a bit even if I know it was not going to be good in that way. There are no movements my body did and just let him hug me in that way.
When I got the chance to let go of his hug. Quickly I moved away and went to the dustpan to gathered all the broken pieces of glass. My eyes saw his glance and in secret ways, Niko's eyes were looking at my position.
"Don't!...." I stopped him from coming closer to the broken pieces of glass.
"You need my help Heart, don't be so stubborn." He uttered and tried to help me but I finished it so fast so he wouldn't have the chance to help me.
"Why are you here? Didn't you just leave last day?" Asked in confusion as I walk towards the trash bin plastered on the front door.
"Hmm, guess what event is coming by the end of this month!" Nikolas sounded hopeful that I'll answer him with an incorrect response.
"Sorry, too busy to know what occasion will be at the end of this month," I lied.
"You're just kidding, aren't you?" His voice was full of sadness. "I know you know what the celebration is on the last day of this month, Heart doesn't lie to me." He uttered full of hope.
I shook my head and swept the floor to take my gaze away from his face. By the time I see him again, my liking for him has returned even more.
I'm disappointed with my heart, with myself and even with the decisions, I have made. It would even hurt him to say if I didn't know what celebration on the last day of this month.
"Do you know what's with the end of this month? or you already know but you just don't want to spoil it up and keep bugging me on what's with the end of the month?" I asked in reverse, to change his face full of sadness.
"Of course! That's why I'm asking you if you know what the celebration at the end of the month is?" He asked presumptuously.
"Niko, you know I'm super busy, right? So I don't have much news on what's happening in the world. Except for the results of entrance exams throughout the university." I answered and ignored his sad face.