"Yeah, yeah, that's enough of your friends joking around, let's hear what little sister has to say."
"S-sister! We, we're not friends!"
"Saeko-san, you got it wrong…."
I couldn't feel any sign of her.
Saeko-san is standing in front of our table with a terribly exhausted look on her face.
Her beauty is ruined.
I sat down on an empty chair.
"S-sis, you look pale, are you okay? Is it about the deadline….."
"Yeah, ..., haha, I'm fine. I wanted to make sure that the work was satisfying."
She gulped down Pomeko's juice and turned to me.
"S-So what do you think? Is Nyanta-sensei going to meet your deadline!"
"S-sister, you're talking about the wrong—-"
Saeko-san's tone was crazy, but she had a serious look in her eyes.
I have to answer that.
I took a deep breath and told her ....
" –Saeko-san, can I call my father?"
"Huh? Father? I don't mind, but would you rather be happy that I don't have to explain things to him?"
I took a look at my phone.
I was thinking about contacting my dad on my way to school this morning, as I bit into a Kusamochi.
On the one hand, I wanted to write a book about it, but on the other hand, I didn't know how to tell my family about it.
I'm a nuisance to my family. I don't want to cause any more trouble to .... My stepmother might even forbid me to write a novel. My stepsister might make fun of me again.
I can't trust anyone anymore.
After high school, Miyazaki, Saito-san, and my stepsister all tried to apologize to me. From my point of view, it seems as if they've suddenly decided to come on to me.
Maybe they were also struggling in their hearts.
When I saw them, I didn't feel anything in my heart. It was pointless for them to express their feelings to me.
Was it okay for me to publish a book like that?
If I thought about it too much, it became incomprehensible.
I ate up all the Kusamochi that my stepsister gave me.
...I don't like Kusamochi. When I was a kid, my stepsister hated Kusamochi, so I just pretended to like them and ate them for her.
... Why does that girl remember what I like?
You cursed me a lot, didn't you? Why are you calling me Onii-chan now?
When you used to call me Onii-chan, I felt like I had to protect my stepsister... Now, when you call me Onii-chan, nothing stays in my mind.
Why does Miyazaki look like she used to now, and talk to me normally? I miss her so much, but my heart is empty. We've been together since we were kids, walking ... behind my good-natured self. We haven't changed at all from the old days, yet I feel nothing in my heart.
Saito-san is in the same class as me, so even if I don't mind, I can't help but notice her.
Why does she look like she's in pain? Why is she trying to take care of me?
I loved the time we spent reading books together. I could forget about the incident when I was with her, who was so kind to me.
Even though she watches over me with the same kind eyes as before, nothing touches my heart.
I don't like the three of them. Nor do I hate them.
It's not that I hate them.
I just don't want to make any more mistakes.
It's not their fault that I've become the person I am today. It's just that I couldn't handle it, and the world's malice swallowed me up.
I can't trust anyone anymore.
I don't feel anything in my heart, no matter what they say.
It's too late, I'm– broken man.
That's when I met Pomeko.
I didn't plan to talk to her, I didn't plan to be friends with her, but the time I spent with her became my daily life. I almost remembered many emotions that I had forgotten.
I remembered the feeling of fun.
I remembered the feeling of being happy.
Pomeko-san is ... Shinotsuka, a strange person.
Like me, she was betrayed by people, but she has a kind heart.
What if I had met Shinotsuka when I was in junior high school?
What if I'd been friends with Shinotsuka?
What if I hadn't been betrayed by Shinotsuka in the future?
It's too late to think about these things.
I've become friends with Shinotsuka, right now, at this moment…
For some reason, I felt brave.
Don't assume that you're broken. I'm moving forward.
I took out my phone.
I hadn't talked to my dad on the phone in a long time.
I couldn't speak well at first.
He was busy before work in the morning, but he just listened to me.
I wondered what would happen if he rejected me like in the past.
I wondered what would happen if he told me not to do something so selfish.
The words of the past stuck in my mind as a thorn in my side.
My father, who had remained silent, finally said to me.
"I'll listen with you. There's a publishing scam going on. ... Look, you're just a kid and you need a guardian. ... Until then…"
"Dad? ... Thank you, sir."
"You're still honorific, ..., sorry, it's my fault. ... Makoto, in any way, shape or form, you've been accepted by people. So – be proud of that. I'm proud of you, son. –Congratulations."
I hung up the phone, unable to reply.
My heart was supposed to be empty, but I felt like a forgotten emotion was about to break out.
Ever since the incident with my childhood friend when I was a kid, my dad and I have been distant. He didn't even speak to me when I was transferred.
It was supposed to be unbelievable. I didn't think it would do anything to my heart.
My heart was in pain, and I didn't know what to do.
I didn't know what to do.
So, I wanted to write another novel.
As I set my phone to conference mode, Saeko-san straightened her posture.
It's a big difference from the way she looked earlier. I guess this is what Shinozuka would look like as an adult.
She was a very beautiful woman.
My father appears on the screen.
In the back of my mind, I thought he would not come at this time. I thought he would betray me.
But he showed up.
Even though it was just that, I felt relieved in my heart.
Dad and Saeko-san said a few words to each other.
Saeko-san started talking to my dad about the book project.
It's a strange feeling.
Saeko-san and my dad were polite and respectful.
I felt like I was in another world.
After Saeko-san finished explaining, she asked me.
"I'd like to ask you again, Shinjo-san. –I'd like to make a book ... and spread the story you wrote to the world. That's my job. Create books and make people smile. –I need you."
I close my eyes.
I was troubled for a long time. I didn't know what to do.
The exchange of messages with Pomeko-san comes to mind.
When I opened my eyes, Pomeko-san was looking at me worriedly.
She's working on a book. Still, she's not working on a series right now.
"If ... Nyanta makes it into a book, I'll ... also ... try my best ...."
Pomeko-san said to herself in a small voice.
The sight of her made my heart flutter. It made me want to cheer her on.
I knew my answer from the beginning. I've been suppressing my feelings ever since I received that book launch message.
"Yes, I want to make a book .... I know I'm saying this selfishly, and it may cause trouble for my family, but I want to make ... a book! Please! Please make a book about my story!"
I've never wished for something so much before.
A cry from the bottom of my heart. My true feelings.
I didn't even try to suppress what was rising in me.
I let my emotions take over and I collapsed in tears.
"———-Please...."
I thanked Shinozuka in my heart.
–Thank you. Thank you so much. If I hadn't met you — if I hadn't gotten your message, I would have ....
I felt something warm on my back.
From there, it spreads slowly.
I felt like I was wrapped in tenderness.
I couldn't stop crying. Not painful tears. It wasn't a sad feeling.
"—-Congratulations."
That was the only thing that stopped me.
I couldn't control my sobs, and——– I was so happy—– that I started to cry.
_________________________
~To be continue~