My name is Emeka. I got my bachelor's degree two years ago but I still was awaiting my call up letter for NYSC, whenever that will be. I followed my parents to the village as I was the only one with them at the moment; my elder brother and younger sister were still in school.

So, here I was sitting in my room all alone. Everywhere was so quiet that I would give anything to hear the sound of crickets, even my phone was not enough to liven me up. After thirty minutes of quietness, I couldn't bear it anymore, I needed to hear something. I stood up, put on my slip-ons, grabbed my earpiece and headed out. I met my mom at the entrance and told her I was going for a walk.

I walked along the sandy red road which was just a straight path; it was flanked by bushes on both sides. Occasionally, I saw men and women with firewood on their heads and I greeted them in our dialect.

After a while of walking, I decided to sit near a tree trunk and catch my breath. I stared at my feet and it looked as though I had just swum in a sea of red sand. Stupid dust. There was no wind at all and the sun was at its peak. I was sweating profusely and getting annoyed at the same time. Visiting the village was my least favourite trip and now I was alone without my siblings, it was unbearable.

My spiteful thoughts were cut short when suddenly, I started hearing the sound of a flute in the distance behind me. It was from inside the bush and it sounded very melodious. I stood up, dusted my butt and started walking into the bush, towards the sound. By the time I realized what I was doing, I couldn't stop myself, my whole body was screaming danger but I couldn't stop. I followed the sound till I reached a small clearing in the bush where a little boy was playing the flute. He wore nothing but a ragged loin cloth. As soon as he saw me, he looked up and smiled eerily and turned to smoke and disappeared. My heart and stomach competed against one another for which to first claw their way up my throat and restrict my air flow as I stood there dumbfounded and with no single clue of what I had just walked into.

The wind picked up the pace. There had been no air, to even say less of wind but suddenly, it got violent. I shielded my eyes as wastes, twigs and other forms of rubbish tried to get in. Then something swept me off my feet and I landed flat on my butt. When I regained my senses, it occurred to me that the wind had died down. I stood up and looked around; everywhere was quiet, I just had to find my way out but my blood froze. The bush in front of me started rustling and at the same time whatever was behind it moved closer. I wanted to run but it was as though my feet had been cemented to the ground. And the moment whatever was behind the rustling burst out of the bush, I picked up a twig (as if that would have helped) but then found my mom staring at me in shock.

"Emeka, so this is where you are and I've been looking for you." She said feeling relieved.

I was shocked and sceptical at the same time as I eyed her wearily.

"Mom, what are you doing here?" I asked while stepping back cautiously and she looked at me as though I was crazy.

"What do you mean? You were taking so long, so I had to come get you. Besides, it's late." She walked towards me and I couldn't move an inch, my body was screaming for me to run but I couldn't move an inch, I just stood there like one of those mannequins in a boutique as she inched closer and closer.

Suddenly, something whizzed past my ear and embedded itself in my mom's forehead and she dropped to the ground with a thump.

"Mom!" I shouted and ran to her.

I turned back to see a girl about my age. She was dark in complexion and had her braids tied into a pony tail, and the most alarming aspect of all her features was that she had a sling shot in her hand and she was glaring at me like I was her dog that had shat on her carpet.

"Get away from her, unless you don't value your life!" She shouted at me.

"You just shot my mom in the head, you sicko! Who do you think you...?"

My body tensed up as I stole a glance at what I thought was my mom on the ground and the sickening after effect of what I saw made me to almost throw up. Rising up slowly before my very eyes was a creature whose sight was beyond disgusting. I had no explanation for it but I screamed and edged backwards like the man I was and watched it claw its way towards me. Another thing whizzed past my ear again and this time around, it scattered the creature into dust.

The girl walked up to me and grabbed me by the arm and pulled me up; apparently she was more gorilla than human.

"You should know better than to be out in the bushes." She said glaring at me. "If I hadn't been on patrol, you would have been Amusu dinner by now."

"Amusu?" You mean like evil spirits?" I asked feeling confused by the way she pronounced It in Ibo instead of saying it in English.

"Yes, smart ass. What else do you think I meant? Besides, you should know better than to trespass into the forbidden forest, even the gods themselves are weary of this place." She scolded while looking around for any sign of danger.

"Forbidden forest? Young lady this is a roadside bush. I don't know what you are on to about gods and what not, but can you please show me the way out? I'm having a really bad..."

I was cut short by multiple rustling in the bushes ahead of us. She grabbed my hand and we ran in the opposite direction. We met a few of her comrades on the way and they charged past us to intercept the Amusu or whatever that was after us.

After a while of running, though it actually seemed like more than a while, we came into another clearing with a lot of trees and by trees, I don't mean the usual run of the mill pawpaw tree, I'm talking big iroko trees. She walked towards two of them in particular which were very close to each other like pillars then she gave me the after you gesture.

"Umm… what am I supposed to..."

I didn't even finish as she dragged me in front of her and kicked me so hard I flew in between the trees, substantiating my thoughts about her as a gorilla. When I regained consciousness, I was in a different place entirely, I was sitting on grass so green that it looked fake. The air was different too and there were beautiful flowers. I doubted somewhere like this existed in Nigeria and concluded that I was probably dead— a death by a forceful kick. How embarrassing!

Suddenly I was smacked upside the head and I snapped out of my delusion as I looked at my assailant and then my expression changed.

"You!" I glared at her "What did you do and where are we?"

"Welcome to the land of the gods", she said as she spread her hands.

"Oh my God, am I dead?" I asked, panic building up in my chest.

"What? No, why do you say so?" She asked feeling amused.

I quickly got up and touched my body, looked at my hands as well, and thankfully, they were not see through.

"Quit dawdling and let's get moving, don't you know..."

Thunder shook the entire earth cutting her sentence short. "Uh-uh! We have to go now, he is pissed", she said and started rushing.

"Who is pissed? And I am not going anywhere with youuuu ooo!"

I wasn't given the opportunity to finish as she carried me and slung me over her shoulders like a sack of rice and marched on as I struggled effortlessly.

"Are you really a girl? And has anyone told you that you are not friendly at all, and that you are like a gorilla", I taunted.

I could hear her grit her teeth. "I will make sure you pay for this insult later."

She walked for a while, climbed up a hill and then down the same. We entered what looked like a very large community or village, whichever you want to call it. People scurried about and didn't look at us twice. We finally arrived and stopped.

"Sorry I am late, AMD. I lost track of time while patrolling", she apologized and I could tell she was scared.

Who was he? I wondered.

"Chioma!" The voice sounded so big and deep that it sent chills down my spine. "I would get angry with you but now is not the..."

For some reason, he stopped. I still couldn't see him for I was still slung over her shoulder and no matter how I tried, I couldn't see a thing.

"What's that thing wriggling on your shoulder?" AMD asked.

"Oh!" Chioma exclaimed, realizing I was still on her shoulder, and dropped me. Seriously, where does this girl get her strength from? I wondered.

I turned to face who she was talking to and let out a yelp. Woah! If you could imagine the tallest street light ever, yes. That's how tall he was and with a sturdy physique too. He was dark complexioned just like she was and his hair was plaited in three braids that fell down his shoulder with golden cowries adorning them. He looked like he was in his early forties.

"Umm…umm… Hi" was all I could manage to say.

His eyes flared up with lightning and I resisted the urge to not pee my pants.

"It's AMD to you, boy", he cautioned.

"AMD? What's that short for, Amsterdam?" I asked as the hairs on my body stood erect like early morning penis.

Chioma scooted close to me and whispered. "He's Amadioha, god of thunder and lightning."

I gasped and clasped my hand over my mouth until I noticed he wasn't paying attention; he was busy swiping something as large as a billboard on his hand.

"Umm, is that a tablet?" I asked feeling confused at the sheer size of the thing.

"What if it is?" AMD asked not sparing a second to look at me.

"What would a god of thunder need a tablet for?" I asked feeling amused.

He stopped what he was doing and looked at me.

"Umm, I don't know, maybe send and monitor lightning and thunder along different states, receive ridiculous requests from people who ask me to strike their enemies down."

And just then, his tablet beeped "Oh, another request", he said. "Let's see, hmm! That dude is pretty evil. I can't believe he raped a nine-year-old and murdered her. That's one thunder for him." He tapped something on the tablet and I heard a sounder of thunder from the tablet. I pitied whoever that was on the receiving end of that bolt.

"So you see, I have a lot of use for a tablet, not to mention Facebook and Twitter. I recently discovered this thing called Tiktok and it is amazing." AMD summarized as a smile spread across his face and then stared at me. "I can tell you are not from around here, tell me exactly what happened."

I started my explanatory seminar. It would have been easier if I could just show him power points.

"Hmm! I see." He said as he rubbed his chin and looked at Chioma. "Good thing you found him when you did, he would have been Amusu food by now. Great job! That's why you are my Onye Ozi."

I could swear the gorilla girl blushed.

"Onye Ozi? You mean like a servant or something?" I asked.

"No, You idiot. More like a messenger." Chioma said while glaring daggers at me and I raised my hands in defeat.

"So, how do I get back home? I can already tell I don't belong here." I said looking around.

"You think?" Chioma said and I blew a raspberry at her.

"Knock it off you too or I'll turn you both into human conductors." AMD spoke not looking up from his tab.

"Will you be able to send me back?" I asked hopefully.

"Normally, I'd send you back right away, but I've been preserving my volts and bolts."

I looked at Chioma and back to the Thunder god.

"Preserving them for what exactly?" I asked as she elbowed me.

"He has a staring contest with Sango, the other god of lightning, to decide who will be the overall ruler, and then there is the Amusu problem." Chioma explained.

"Staring contest? You have got to be kidding me. So I don't get to go home because Zeus over here wants to do a staring contest?" As I said those words, the sky flashed with lightning and all my hair stood straight as I realized that AMD was right behind me. His presence was static and smelled of ozone.

"It's AMD, not Zeus. And unless you want him on your case you wouldn't say rash things." He scolded.

"Wait, Zeus is a thing?" I asked and then felt stupid afterwards —since Amadioha was here, why not Zeus?

"I have a meeting with the organizers to discuss the contest this afternoon, so you'll have to wait till after the contest." AMD said and started walking away while swiping on his tablet. His footsteps shook the entire ground and then in a bolt of lightning, he was gone.

"So what do I do now?' I asked frustratedly.

"You wait! Come on I'll show you around" Chioma said, in a gesture to give me a tour of the village.

"If the people here are mostly spirits, so that means you are a spirit. I'm talking to a ghost." I said trying to not act creeped out.

"What the...No, I'm not. I am very much alive. I am a student at the University of Calabar studying Biology and I am in my 100 level now." She said.

I let out a chuckle. I could imagine her alternating between Biology practicals and being the messenger of a god and I shuddered.

Suddenly, several bells sounded in the distance prompting people to start rushing to the square.

"It's starting, lets hurry", Chioma said and started dragging me along.

"What's starting." I asked feeling out of place.

"The staring contest", she said making the whole situation sound uncool.

As we were nearing the square, other gods began to arrive and Chioma started naming them for me.

A light so bright shone all over the land that we had to shield our eyes. "That's Anyanwu, the goddess of the sun, wealth and good fortune", Chioma explained.

The goddess rode in on her golden chariot with the sun symbol etched on it and my I thought of Apollo. She was beautiful with her golden braids that flowed down to her back. Her skin which was the colur of caramel, brought out her beauty. I could help but gawk at her with my mouth open until Chioma jabbed me in the gut.

"Quit staring you creep."

Suddenly the earth shook and broke apart as another lady stepped out with her entourage flanking her.

"That's Ala, the Earth goddess of morality, fertility and creativity."

"Oooo!" I exclaimed feeling fascinated.

Another god burst through the crowd riding on top of bulls and drew the attention of the crowd. He even got my attention which was super rare.

"The show off over there is Ikenga, the god of strength." She explained and I waited for more attributes but none came.

"Wait, that's it? Just strength?" I asked and Chioma nodded.

All of a sudden, it got dark as though it was nighttime, a bright light like the moon appeared as a man in white robes materialized with along with it. He had white afro hair and he looked as though he was walking on…

"Is he walking on clouds?" I asked in astonishment.

"Yes he is. That is Onwa, the moon god and guide to the afterlife."

Suddenly I felt cold as goosebumps spread all over my skin.

Everywhere became bright again as Ikenga glared at Onwa. "Always sucking up the light anytime you show up. Can you not do that, please?"

Onwa gave one of those annoying smiles with his eyes closed. "Whatever are you talking about Ikenga?"

I wondered what would happen if two of them were to fight there and decided I didn't want to find out. I remembered those Nigerian movies where people cried out to the gods and say the gods have abandoned them. So this was what they were busy doing? I shook my head.

Vines started creeping around the whole place making flowers and plants grow. It gathered together, grew tall to reveal a man in black robe with a hoodie draped over his head. He looked creepy.

"Who is the old creep?" I asked as Chioma kicked me in the shin.

"That's Agwu Nsi, the god of health and divination." And as if on cue, his head turned towards our direction and I jumped back. Why was someone like him the god of health?

As we were all about to relax, lightning struck the centre of the square as a man in his late forties appeared. He had dreadlocks that were a bit above his shoulders, he was dark in complexion with a mean demeanour that made me want to crawl under a rock and hide. I looked at Chioma and sensed she was as terrified as I was.

"That—That's Sango", she stuttered. "The other god of lightning from Yoruba land."

AMD walked forward and met Sango face to face. They stared each other down and Onwa came in between them.

"Now that we are all here, let's get down to business", Onwa said and backed up quick as the two gods stared at each other.

Now if you could imagine that feeling you get when you get shocked with electricity, that tingling after effect you get flowing through your body over and over, that's what it felt like watching these two gods stare at each other. All the hairs on my body stood erect as though they were adhering to the required uprightness when the national anthem was being sung. I thought I would disintegrate into nothingness.

Suddenly, we heard a gunshot and looked in the direction to see a red flare signal in the sky. The two gods stopped staring, they turned to the direction of the flare signal, they glanced at themselves again and then back at the flare and reached a silent agreement as they both nodded, as did the other gods.

"Umm, what's happening?" My always clueless self asked feeling anxious and confused.

"It's the Amusu, they are coming." Chioma said in a panic "They've never come this close before."

Everybody was panicking except for the gods who were having a meeting. Suddenly they all nodded and started dispersing.

AMD walked up to Chioma and me. "It's time for you to go boy. You shouldn't be here with all this craziness going on."

"I thought you said..." I started to say but was cut off.

"I know what I said, but the situation has changed, there is no time."

Suddenly an explosion shook the earth under our feet. AMD walked up to me, muttered a few words and then placed a finger on my forehead as I started glowing and fading. I turned to Chioma

"What about you?"

She smiled. "I'll be fine. I didn't get to ask your name."

As I was almost fading away, I smiled.

"It's Emeka!"

And then I was gone, soaring through a dark void. It was as though I was existing in all periods of time, just floating in space. And suddenly, there was a bright light and I woke up in my bed and looked around. I brought out my phone and checked the time and date. It was still the same day, just an hour had passed after I left the house at first. I collapsed back into my bed thinking of everything that had happened. Was it all a dream or did it really happen? Well that's a story for another time.

_______

Meanwhile, Chioma and AMD were busy fending off the Amusu that came to attack them when a thought occurred to her.

"Umm, AMD did you shield Emeka with the protection spell while you and Sango were engaged in your staring contest? There was a massive power leakage".

"Nope, I didn't", AMD replied as they kept fighting. Then both of them stopped and stared at each other.

"Oh Shit!".