[November 17th, 2021]
Aurora looked into the mirror as she combed her hair. Her dark brown hair were as perfect as any other day. Her ice blue eyes were sparkling. 'Glioblastomas?' She thought to herself. She closed her eyes mid-way, trying to see. Her vision was just fine. She shouldn't worry, right? Dr. Matthias said it would be alright... Right? She let out a deep sigh, waking Giselle up. It was midnight for God's sake!
"Where had you been?" Giselle asked, half-asleep.
"I slept on the bus." Aurora said as she chuckled. "Is your toilet not fixed yet?" She asked.
Giselle shook her head.
"Cons of living alone." Giselle sighed. "Still better than it used to be." She smiled, brighter than ever.
"Eyy, It's totally fine. Just stay with me." Aurora squinted her eyes to show affection. "I'm still so glad you got the next door apartment though. It's so convenient." She added.
"Yeah, you get to see my notes faster." Giselle chuckled while calling her on the bed with a hand gesture.
Aurora fixed her hair and jumped on the bed to leave her worries alone and sleep for good. Except her worries didn't want to leave her alone.
"I'll be straight forward then..." Dr. Matthias spoke in her dream. "MRI shows tumor at a risky position. Biopsy is impossible as there is risk of CSF leakage. Surgery could be done but it has spread too much. Radiotherapy can be tried but I'm afraid it won't make much difference, however, we could lessen the symptoms with it, followed by Chemotherapy. I recommend Palliative care for the time being." He added hesitantly.
"Just tell me... How long do I have?" Aurora asked emotionlessly.
"...6 weeks."
She looked down at her feet. They were still touching the ground.
"Let me tell your Fa-" Dr. Matthias was cut off.
"No. Please." Aurora insisted. "Don't tell anyone. I don't want them to think that I am suffering. Please." She added.
Dr. Matthias understood. He would've done the same if he was in her shoes. He assured her that he would provide all medical support to her.
She woke up with tears all over her face. It was 5am in the morning. She saw Giselle still sleeping next to her. She moved out of the bed carefully trying hard not to wake Giselle up and ran towards the bathroom. She locked the door and looked in the mirror. She let out a sigh, and another one to let herself calm down.
She didn't just go though the trouble of telling Dr. Matthias to keep it a secret if she was going to act this way! 'I'm not scared. I'm not scared. I'm not scared' She thought to herself while splashing water on her face. 'I'm not crying' , '6 weeks are a lot'. She shook her head, looking into the mirror. She needed a walk.
She quickly ran out the house for a quick walk, for some fresh air. While walking, she saw a butterfly flying in front of her. It was too cold for a butterfly to be flying around, specially a monarch butterfly. It flew swiftly, as if the cold weather of the dawn didn't bother it. The orange color of it's wings dazzled as sun rose a bit higher. Everything became red and clear. She looked up to see snow flakes quietly falling.
"First snow!" She whispered loudly to herself.
She looked down again, curious how the butterfly would react to the snow. However, it had disappeared. 'Am I seeing things?' She thought to herself. 'Ah, seeing things is supposed to be a symptom of my disease...' It wasn't a pleasant way to put it but she at least had to stay true to herself. She was still happy.
6 weeks were enough if she got to see the first snow of the year. She remembered how it snowed earlier last year. Dawn was nice. Snow was pretty. The butterfly of her thoughts was magnificent too. She walked through an orchard of Maple trees, that had shed all their leaves. The snow struck on the little branches and glowed orange under the little-to-none sunlight. It looked like the maple tree never lost its leaves. The first snow fell in like a swift shower and turned everything pure white, except the sunlight made it feel orange. She looked at her pale hands.
The pretty weather made her look healthy. She was the Aurora amidst of the snowy panorama. The Aurora that would last for a while, but be as beautiful as ever. Like the butterfly that flew in front of her, she was the one responsible to turn everybody's life into a beauty they had never seen. Now that was a pleasant way to put it! Some cancer couldn't bring her down. She was Aurora. There's no way she would lose to cancer.
A quick walk really helped her clear her head. She had only one goal. 6 weeks? Make them pleasant. 42 days? Spend them with loved ones. She had made up her mind to live the hell out of these 6 weeks. She would make the cancer fed up of her so it would leave her on it's own. She returned home after an hour or two of appreciating nature.
"Where were you?!" The first thing she heard as she returned was 'Mad Giselle'. "Why do you keep disappearing?"
Seemed like everyone had woken up.
"I was on a walk..." Aurora explained right away, truthfully.
"This early? Are you serious?" Giselle nagged.
"Morning walks are healthy, Giselle." Aurora's mom said as she set the table. "Breakfast is ready, girls. eat up and go to school on time." She added.
Giselle found her to be suspicious but she let it off thinking it was just a morning walk. Before going to school, Aurora put on a lot of makeup so she doesn't look sick.
"What's with the makeup?" Giselle picked up again.
"Oh, It's cold so my skin is dry and pale." She explained. She was glad Giselle didn't notice anything out of the blue. She had been sick for a while, according to Dr. Matthias but now that she got it diagnosed she had to hide it properly.
Thankfully, no one noticed till now. Hopefully, no one would notice later on as well.
[November 17th, 2020]
Lucy placed a lunchbox on Aurora's desk. Sean bought her fruit juices. Ethan and Giselle tried to convince her to visit a doctor.
"I said I'm fine!" Aurora said with a big smile. "Are you guys serious? This is my normal nausea. Plus I don't have it anymore!" She convinced them as she chuckled on how adorable they could get.
"But I still cooked you something so you don't have to eat cafeteria food." Lucy said.
"Fruit juices will keep you from dehydrating." Sean said.
"Okay, Okay! I got it!" Aurora assured them that she was fine.
Sean looked at Giselle, and indicated her to a corner. Giselle followed him there.
"About Aurora, keep an eye on her. Something is fishy. About you, I got your brother fired from his work-place. Consider it karma." Sean explained swiftly and got back to his seat.
Giselle just nodded slowly. She could go home now that her brother was fired. He would be busy finding a new job. If she locked herself all day, she would be able to avoid all troubles. That was Sean's way of revenge, and she didn't mind it. Aurora seemed fine too, so she had less things to worry about as of now.
Lucy was busy feeding Aurora her 'home-cooked meal'. It was really just some salad. But Aurora liked salad. The crunch of the veggies, and slight juiciness, the vibrant colors and healthy benefits were totally her thing. Except that was her way of saying 'Mom, I eat salad so it doesn't matter if I eat fast food all the time.'
Such healthy meal, accompanied by the fruit juice; mainly sugars, but at least it was there. Aurora couldn't help but smile throughout the day. Giselle was still suspicious, and would eye her from time to time. Squinting eyes, narrowed eyes, indicating eyes, and all sorts of eye figures were shown to her.
"If you are really fine, then prove it." Giselle finally said after a lot of 'eye' communication. "Visit a doctor with me." She added.
"We have an exam in an hour..." Aurora reminded her, as she was someone to worry about exams first.
"After exam."
"What about preparation for the next exam?"
"We'll do it together later."
"Alright. We'll visit one then."
Giselle passed a huge smile.
"Better not back off, okay?" Just to make sure, Giselle left her own worries alone to look after Aurora.
"You guys want me to pay for Hospital charges?" Sean asked, if it wasn't something luxurious, he would definitely help his friends out.
Aurora shook her head. She didn't want to trouble everyone when she felt just fine. She felt like she could live for a 100 more years. Probably more than that.
Ethan was worried about Aurora too, but mostly, he was worried about the exam. No matter how much he studied, he would still worry. His part-time jobs made it harder. He lived alone too, so doing everything by himself was hard. 15 minutes before the exam, he kept kicking his legs as he tried to memorize everything last second. History wasn't really his subject.
He sweated in that cold weather and paused after every line, not being able to memorize properly. Even with Giselle's notes, the margin of his failure was huge. There was no way he wouldn't make the silly mistakes he always made. Not that he did it intentionally, mistakes are never intentional. Not even when you know you're doing wrong. Because you never did wrong on your own. It's your brain that perceives that image for you.
This is how he thought. No matter how dumb he was, his reasoning was rational and realistic. He didn't even consider himself average or made the excuse of having to live alone and work all the time. His excuse was simply, 'I could've done better.' Even with such a simple mindset, he had had himself make mistakes consciously and unconsciously. Maybe because his mindset was so simple.
The bell rang, and it was time to conduct the exam. No one was ready. Except Giselle. Ethan was shivering. He hated failure as much as he understood mistakes. The invigilator passed on the exam sheets to the class. 'Why am I in high school?' Ethan thought to himself realizing all the question were those that he just studied.
However, the statement in his thoughts was not made because he was confident he would solve it. It was because he was under-confident that he forgot everything he just read. Somehow, he filled the entire paper with words so the examiner would think he studied a lot, which he did.
After school, they all said goodbyes to each other to rush towards their houses, in order to study for the next exam. Giselle and Aurora went to see a doctor as promised. It was snowing lightly as they took a bus to a clinic near Aurora's house. It had been snowing lightly since late October, so the roads were not that bad yet.
By the end of this week, they'd get a semester break too so snow was fine for the time being. Why would happy little snowflakes, falling quietly without being a nuisance not be fine? It was more than fine. It was pretty.
Upon reaching the clinic, the doctor ran a few tests, checked her temperature, pulse and heart palpitations and declared it anxiety. Her nausea was a symptom of anxiety as well. That is what she had been saying to her friends. It's just exams. Nothing more, nothing less. The doctor advised her to sleep well at nights, and try to fix her eating habits.
She nagged at Giselle for misunderstanding all the way back. 'I knew I was fine' became her catch-phrase for the time being. However, Giselle was glad that she had her friend at least check up on her issues.
They returned to their own houses to study as well. Aurora opened her books, sitting down on the desk. She read a few lines then lost focus for the rest, followed by a sharp ring in her head. She grunted as her vision blurred and she felt like throwing up. Did her occasional anxiety use to be this bad? She didn't want to think about anything and sleep for the night.