I saw it, again.
That same dream, which has been haunting me since my return from Hell. It always started out the same, until it got to the middle of it - that's when it changed into something that made me feel like someone was molding the dream into what they wanted. Twisting and turning, until it drove me mad, and I had my suspicions as to who the culprit was.
Faustus.
One didn't have to be a genius to figure that part out.
But it's not like there was anything I could do about it, since the Dreamless Spells no longer worked on me after constantly using them for nearly three years straight. I'd gotten too accustomed to it, and Faustus had a hand in there too. By negating anything that could relieve me of the consequences for escaping Hell, engraving it into my mind that this was my punishment.
Unforgiving. Cold. Cruel.
There was a way I could escape it all, but it didn't even cross my mind. Not now. Not when I hadn't reached my goal, and most definitely not when I still had a bet to win. That toppled over everything else, a priority I couldn't ignore. I'd lost too much to simply give up now, no matter how close to breaking I had come during Faustus' tortures.
My body was thrown through Hell Fire that burned hotter and brighter than any other flame I've ever seen, appearing to be both blue and red, and something more. The colors danced within the flames as if they were alive, and I belatedly realized that I couldn't tear my eyes off of the way how they were fighting for dominance to settle the score for once and all.
The flames left a permanent mark on my body, scars that covered most of my left shoulder area and half of my back. The scars were a reminder to never forget, to never forgive, and to never trust another without a doubt, ever again.
My mouth opened for a soundless scream, my throat burned from both the fire and smoke. My body refused to move until it dropped, mercilessly, on the ground. Pain jolted through my existence, stretching and pulling me as if it wanted to tear me apart.
There was a smell of skin melting, burning, melting, burning…My body convulsed from shock, fear, and pain. Any sound I made was drowned out by the deafeningly loud screams and moans within Hell. It terrified me more than I wanted to admit.
That's when the dream would fade into something else, a mix of small bits of truths and lies, and twisted desires. His masterpiece, as he'd say, wearing a proud smirk. Looking not bothered at all about what his tricks did to my mind.
My clothes were merely a reminder of what they once used to be, by now I was covered in dirt, blood, and whatever shit I'd come across here. My feet were burned, dirtied, and covered with bruises, and blood. Almost broken sandals protected my feet with what little was left, preventing the ground from getting another piece of my skin.
And there, besides me stood Shin Soo-Won.
The only person, who'd tried to stop the sacrifice, by idiotically dooming himself when he jumped into the Gateway of Hell and Earth. I could still picture the way his face twisted with desperation, fear, and terror as he attempted to reach my bound body. Screaming my name so much, so loudly that his voice became hoarse. He no longer resembled the proud Noble Soo-Won I knew and loved.
His long, silky-looking black hair breezed with the wind I hadn't noticed up until now, freely and unrestricted. His handsome facial features were marred, broken, and starting to look like they belonged to someone else. One of Soo-Won's gray eyes was slowly turning red, blood dripped from his changed eye.
Almost as if he was crying.
I let out a horrified cry, and I nearly begged Faustus not to show it to me. I knew what would happen, what always happened, and yet, I couldn't do shit to stop Soo-Won from turning into the last thing either of us wanted to be.
A demon.
Soo-Won was a good inch or so taller than me, it often felt like I was the size of an ant whenever I was in his presence. He held out a hand, palm up, showing me the fading tattoo I'd put there. I took a few steps back, accidentally pushing some rocks over the cliff behind me. My heart skipped a beat, we hadn't been anywhere near a cliff.
"Do it," Soo-Won's voice sounded raspy, tired, and sick. His eyes were still on the fading spell that was meant to prevent him from turning into a demon, and yet, here we were.
Wake up, damnnit!
I frantically shook my head, unable to say a word, only to let out a scream so loud it shattered the mirrors around us, and the next thing I saw was a sword being pierced through his bare chest. Soo-Won's long black hair flowed as though time had stopped, his mouth open and eyes widened in shock.
I couldn't move even as I watched his body slowly falling towards the ground. But it never came, instead, he was suddenly behind me, holding me in his cold familiar arms.
His long nails dug deeply into my arm and chin, forcing me to look at his crazed face. I shivered.
"You can't save anyone." His teeth grazed my ear as he licked me, pressing down the trail of kisses, leaving behind bite marks. I moaned, unwillingly recalling the last time I was this close to him. "Least of all, someone, who asked you to do so."
Not real, I told myself, flinching when I felt his long nail dragging down my neck. It was his touch, I craved. I closed my eyes, savoring the feeling, despite knowing it couldn't be real.
It wasn't real.
'You know what you need to do, Mistress.' Faustus' voice echoed in my mind like loud church bells that just wouldn't shut up. Then, something cold pierced through my heart - a hand had opened my chest - and I let out an unwilling scream, preparing myself for the impact as I fell towards the ground.
It never came.
Instead, when my eyes snapped open, I found myself lying on the Howling Aquilo's cold floor tiles, and I was staring at the bright brown couch in front of me. It took me a few good minutes to recall what happened after Setsu had left. Faustus had induced sleep, taking advantage of my small Mana (spiritual power) levels.
I'd dropped my guard, briefly forgetting his existence and the Demon instantly took advantage of it.
"Shit," I bit my lips to keep from crying, covering my eyes as I curled up like a feral cat. My back felt like it was on fire, it burned and hurt so, so, so, so, so, so much. My mouth tasted strange, a mix of ivory and metallic taste. My hands were covered with blood I'd unknowingly spilled.
"Fuck you, Faustus."
The Demon merely laughed, sending me a holographic picture of him sitting on that damn throne and drinking blood-red wine. I wouldn't be surprised if it did turn out to be blood, especially considering the fact that Faustus had no qualms to hide his tastes from me. The throne, made from the bones of his victims and offerings, looked even more ghastly than it did the first time I saw it. His ruby red eyes gleamed in the darkness, shadows covering his body. The single light came from a few candles scattered around the throne room.
I didn't want to see the form he'd usually take to torment me. I didn't want to see Soo-Won, not like this.
'Easy there, Mistress,' the fucking bastard sounded too amused for my liking. 'Or someone may hear you.'
"…Fuck off," I had no desire to humor him. Not when my back felt like someone was grilling melted cheese or meat on it, not when he'd ripped open the emotional wound left by Soo-Won's death.
Not when I'd been so close to becoming a demon myself before I formed that idiotic Contract with him.
It was in moments like this that I regretted the decision to form the Contract with the Demon Prince, the trickster and worst demon out of them all. But desperation does something to humans, even when we know it's the wrong choice. All I wanted to do was to save Soo-Won from becoming a demon, I wanted him to go back home.
Even if it meant staying behind.
I should have remembered the stories I was told as a child, the demons lie.
Always.
Only to watch Soo-Won die, his blood on my hands.
'He would've died, either way, Mistress.'
I knew that.
I did. But it didn't mean I wanted to believe it. Because if I did, his death would be my fault. That I was the one, who doomed him. Not the other way around. Never the other way around.
"Poke," my body jolted at the sudden touch of someone's warm finger on my cheek, and I nearly punched the culprit in his face on an instinct, only for my fist to be caught before it could land a hit.
My eyes widened as I found myself staring at Haruse Seiren's familiar, concerned ocean-colored-blue eyes. Faustus growled, and Seiren responded by poking the emerald stone on my cross-shaped necklace.
There was a loud bell chime that ran through my existence before the Connection between me and Faustus was silenced.
"Now, the nasty demon should be quiet for a while," Seiren said, effortlessly lifting me up from the floor.
And rather than placing me back on the couch, he sat down and positioned me so that I laid my feet over the arm-side and my head on his lap.
I blinked, watching him cleaning my hands and mouth with a handkerchief he pulled out with a blank face.
"Which is perfect, since I don't like to share what I consider mine."