Hydrangea hummed as she walked to and fro the galley. The rocking of the ship had died down and she found it much easier to work now. Balta had stopped by and given her advice on what to use before it spoiled and how to use the foods that she had never touched before.
Aidana had stayed the entire day, standing by the door, conversing with her, but never once interfering or helping with her work.
If she was honest, she had never once poked for so many. She remembered when Linden and Rowan's appetites had first grown and she'd needed to enlarge her portions and find ways to trade for more food. That was when she'd first sought out work in the livery.
She paused in stirring the thick stew, remembering those simple days that had felt so hard and difficult; those days that had caused her to put up walls in her mind, treat her mother as though she was a stranger and take on much too much responsibility.
But they made her who she was, and she was proud—in a way—of who she'd become. She felt stronger and wiser. She continued stirring and smiled to herself that she would likely think the same things of herself in a year, and the years following.
She looked to the door when she heard the tones of a male voice, not her husband's, whispering to Aidana. She turned fully to face them when she saw Aidana's eyes widen and her olive skin pale slightly. "Y-yes. I'll tell her." She said quietly and the shadow of the man walked away.
"What's happened?" She asked, her heart pounding as possibilities of problems ran through her head. "Is it Bastian?"
"Yes—well no. Not exactly. Would you care to sit down, your majesty?" She stumbled and Hydrangea's worry increased.
"No, I'm fine, just say what it is."
She looked down and sighed, "Hugh's been lost."
Hydrangea's blinked, "Lost?"
"Lost at sea."
Her lips parted open in horror. She had never known the man well, but Bastian had. He'd always been kind and he had helped them in their time of need. "Oh, no." She breathed and looked down at the large pot filled with swirling liquid.
The tears began before she could think and Aidana stepped into the galley for the first time that day, her hand outstretched to pat her shoulder. They said nothing and Hydrangea only sniffled quietly, blinking again the salt water that dropped down her cheeks. She quickly snapped out of her mire of grief and wiped her tears away. "Where's Bastian?" She asked in a voice still think with tears.
"He's still on deck. I'll finish supper. Go to him." She urged and Hydrangea nodded and hastily left the room. Her thoughts reflected to Hugh's wife and son, oh the poor family. A widow. Her heart pinched at the sorrow she felt, it was entirely unfair. The man had been a good one, especially if one took into consideration the fact that he had stayed by Bastian's side for the majority of his reign.
She arrived on deck and spun slowly at the transformation that had occurred since she'd been there last. She sighed looking at the sunset, the clouds were clearing but the sun had melted them away near the horizon. The colours were beautiful yet cold.
She swallowed in her slightly sore throat. She watched the planks beneath her feet as she walked to the helm. When she found herself on the top she looked first to Rodas who bowed his head politely before returning his focus to the sea. Her gaze shifted to the port rail and found Bastian.
He was standing with straight posture, but she could see how stiff he was. She hesitated before walking to him; she wasn't sure what to say. As her steps sounded along the planks as she made her way to him, she began to think of how she would feel if she were in his shoes.
What would it feel like if someone she had known for years was suddenly gone? Not family, not even quite a close friend, but just someone who had simply been there. Someone she would have relied on closely and someone who would never had left her. Someone who would have been loyal to her despite her faults.
She inhaled and closed her eyes at the scent of the sea. She wished it would blow away her anxieties and nausea. Her hand absentmindedly raised to her stomach, 'Nausea all because of my little one.' She thought with a small smile that quickly turned sad.
Approaching him with caution, she could see that he had not registered that she was near. She inhaled quietly and placed her hand gently on his shoulder. He jumped and her eyes widened before he turned his neck to meet hers. Her shoulders sagged at the myriad of emotions she saw there. Her lips pressed together and she stepped closer, wrapping her arms around him; one arm above his shoulder the other around his front.
"Have you been crying?" He finally whispered and she shook her head.
"Only a little bit. Are you alright."
"I'm fine."
She nodded at the blatant lie. He was going to hide it. That was alright, she understood.
"The sunset's beautiful." She whispered and felt a tear roll down her cheek, for no reason whatsoever. It felt too beautiful. Her lips formed and unwanted pout and she felt Bastian shift so that she stood in front of him.
"It is beautiful. I wish we could paint it and frame it for eternity." She could hear a wistfulness in his voice that caused her to crane her head to look at him. He looked sad, guilty even. Why did he feel guilty? It had been Hugh's own choice to come on the journey.
His eyes left the sunset and met hers. A gasp sprang from her lips when she felt him bend down pick her up. Her arms instinctively wound around his neck. "Bastian." She chastised at the movement that was all too sudden, "Don't do that."
"Are you alright?" He asked again, his eyes showing more concern than before.
She huffed, "I'm fine. But next time, warn me please."
He smirked softly and kissed her cheek in a tender way, "I will, flower."
Her skin flushed and her toes curled. "Good." She grumbled, her hand slowly moving to his chest. They sat on a crate that was comfortable enough, her on his lap and him hands wrapped around her protectively. Her feet were grateful for the relief of being held and carried, and her heart was warmed by his actions.
They cuddled on the deck, or, she cuddled him. His muscles were tense throughout the evening and only relaxed minutely when he slept. She was worried, but tried to remind herself that he was grieving a friend.
~~~~~~~~~
The day after Hugh's loss had been discovered Bastian held an official funeral for him. The deck was silent as the crew all dedicated a moment of silence to the respected man. To their first mate.
After speaking the final words of parting Hydrangea had difficulty keeping her face straight. She found herself consoling Bastian as though consoling herself. When the crew was dispersed he brought her to their room and cradled her in his arms.
"Why is death so awful?" She asked between her tears.
She heard him sigh, "I don't know. The permanency of it may simply be too devastating for us to bear."
She scoffed without humour, "Well it is. It's horrible." She leaned back and wiped at tears with her eyes still prepared to shed more.
He only kept his eyes level with hers, "It is. But all life must fade so that new life can be born." His hand pressed to her stomach and the tears began to pour again. She saw him become confused.
"Are you saying Hugh died because of me?"
"No. Of course not." He said, sounding flustered, "I'm simply saying that it is the Primals' way to have one life leave so another may enter. Perhaps that is the reason he is gone, perhaps not. I shouldn't have mentioned it." He added when she was having difficulty calming down.
She shook her head but said nothing.
~~~~~~~~~~~
In three days time they could see Membentuk in the distance, it's green shores looked to have taken a beating from the storm, but Bastian said that the inner parts would be safer and more protected.
Fear that they would be rejected was now more present in her mind than it had ever been. But Samadur has led them here. He had promised that the Bentukis would be able to help them, they had to. Or else what was the point to all this sorrow?