Bastian felt like he couldn't breathe. Every single second of every single minute he wanted to touch her, feel her skin and see her reaction to his touch.
But he couldn't. He wanted to try, but he knew tempting the Primal would not bode well. He didn't suspect death was an outcome, but something torturous could surely be expected.
And riding the day and night away with her sitting between his legs was agony. The feel of her slender back pressed to his, her scent filling his nostrils was enough for any man to lose their mind. He was holding onto his by thin strands.
She'd been quiet for most of the ride, only asking questions and speaking every so often. Amaru did not wish to travel too quickly, the jungle hid many dangers.
"Once we reach the lower territories the cenotes will be a more prominent danger." The chief's son said.
"What's a cenote?" Hydrangea asked, her eyes trained on the jungle surrounding them. She'd been rather jumpy since they'd come down from the higher plateaus.
He wanted to stroke her hair, her cheek, any part of her body if it would get her to relax.
"A cenote is a hollow in the ground filled with water, they can be as large as a lake or as large as a pond. They're usually hidden by moss or thin layers of earth." Amaru answered. His wife was sitting behind him, her green poncho draping behind her.
Hydrangea nodded to his answer, "Why are they so dangerous?" She asked quietly and Bastian subconsciously gave her a reassuring squeeze. Nothing happened and he felt her relax into him.
"Amaru, or Ketzalcatl as the Sun Followers call it. The giant snake."
Bastian blinked in confusion. So… Amaru was named for this giant snake?
That evening Amaru had left to scout around the area and had left Bastian to watch after the women. Cava and Hydrangea were each doing their hair, which Bastian could only smile at. He watched in something near awe as Hydrangea's fingers crossed locks of her black hair into a neat braid.
When she'd finished she turned to him and blushed. His heart quickened as his thoughts led to shameless places.
"Amaru received his name because his mother lost her life to the great snake." Cava said quietly, her hair now also fixed into a braid.
Bastian met Hydrangea's eyes then Cava's, "My condolences."
She nodded, a slight smile on her face, "He was very young, but he was renamed for it." Her eyes reflected a dismal memory.
Two tents had been set up, their make different from that of Viskogorny and of Cadarama. He'd fallen asleep as soon as his head had hit the pillow, he hadn't slept at all the night before and instead had let Hydrangea sleep.
"Bastian… Bastian." A whispering voice said.
He groaned and blinked his eyes open, Hydrangea's pale face vaguely outlined above him.
"What?"
She swallowed and glanced up, her eyes catching just a bit of light at the movement.
He blinked and inhaled a large breath to try and rouse himself. His eyes blinked wide open when he realized his reason for being awoken.
Coming from just a few metres away from them were sounds of very enthusiastic lovemaking.
"What the hell?" He asked as he sat up straighter.
"They've, uh.. been at it for awhile now." Hydrangea whispered and he looked to her. She was sitting with her knees folded and her hands clenching nervously on her lap.
He began to feel his blood heat from the grunts and moans coming from the other couple. His gaze lingered to the right of Hydrangea's ear as he couldn't help but think of what sounds would exit Hydrangea's mouth if he-
"Can we go somewhere else?" She asked, her lips pressed into a thin line.
He smiled lightly when he heard her question, "It's the dead of night, my flower. Where would we go?" He asked gently. Although it was a good idea.
She sighed and he could see how anxious she was. Why had she woken him?
"I don't know. Somewhere where we can't hear-" She swallowed and Bastian grimaced as a rather loud moan broke the air, "That." She finished.
He huffed a sigh and was about to answer when a crack of thunder broke the atmosphere and rain began to pour down on them.
They both looked up and sighed in relief when they realized that the sounds of the other couple were drowned out.
'Maybe Samadur had mercy on me.' He thought as he breathed deeply to cool his body.
"Bastian, do you want children?" He was startled from his thoughts by her soft voice.
"Do I want…?" He broke off, speaking before his mind could catch up with her question. Children? A child? He'd never even thought of that. Before when he'd had the harem there was an herb the women would take so that they could not bear children. He grimaced and inhaled sharply as the memory resurfaced; he was the cause of their deaths. He didn't exactly want to talk, and to her it would he even more difficult. He would rather try to collect sleep and ignore the tightness in his breeches.
"I mean if you don't want them I understand, ha-having an heir and having to raise a child in a-"
"I want children, Hydrangea." He answered before he could stop himself. He swallowed and cursed himself, but hearing her hesitancy he had to answer her.
"You do?" She asked in a relief-filled voice that made his heart flutter in happiness and provided a minuscule distraction him from the discomfort of his lower half.
"Yes, Hydrangea. I want children. I have no idea what kind of father I'll be, but…"
"I think you'll be a great father."
He gasped lightly, hoping she hadn't heard and asked, "Why?"
He heard her give a gentle, humoured huff of breath, "Because you're a good man a-and you're loving. I think you being a father, would be wonderful."
He smiled, "And you being a mother would be the most spectacular thing in this world."
She hummed and he could see her silhouette shrink herself, "I don't know about that."
"And why not? You raised your siblings, you're motherly at heart."
"My family was different. And I…"
"You what?" He asked gently, very curious as to why she thought she wouldn't be a good mother. The rain battered the tent but so far they remained dry, and he could still hear her voice.
"I just, I feel like my children wouldn't like me."
He chuckled quietly, "And I'm sure they won't be overly fond of me as well, but every child has conflicted views of their parents. Our job is to raise them up to be good people."
She nodded and laughed dryly, "You're definitely going to be a better parent than me."
He shook his head, "Don't say that. Hydrangea, you're going to be the perfect mother. I don't want to hear another word about you not going to be a good mother." It hurt his heart.
He could sense her nod.
He laid down, positioning the blanket so that he wouldn't frighten his innocent wife. He heard Hydrangea shift and soon sensed that she was laying down beside him.
He closed his eyes and tried to think of things other than the sounds that now rang in his ears.
"What was your mother like?" Hydrangea asked and he relaxed his shoulders that he had not known were tense.
"My mother is…" He paused, trying to come up with words to describe her, "She's a lot like you; she's gentle and kind and loves flowers."
"She does?"
He smiled, "Yes. She lives on Bell Island and tends massive gardens."
She hummed quietly and he turned his head to see her eyes closed. He yawned, "I think you'd like her."
"She sounds nice." She mumbled.
He smiled and wished to stroke her cheek, but knew that he couldn't. Damned Primal.
He still had no idea of what would occur if he did, maybe pain? He guessed. He had no idea.