I sat next to the Sovereign at the far back of the largest room I have ever seen. The ceilings were enormous and reached as if up to the clouds and the walls were crafted with gold while the windows all shone with silver. The floor was a vast marble expanse with elaborate mosaics and pillars large enough to hold up the sky.
From the high ceiling hung dozens of chandeliers all lit with hundreds of candles. The atmosphere of the room was suffocating with the heat and dancing, the sounds of people eating and taking. The sounds of merrymaking.
I sat, watching everyone else dance at my Union. My mother had once said that the lady and the gentleman would have the first dance. She had told me that one of her friends had danced all night with her husband, till dawn.
I scoffed lightly at that notion. The man next to me may be my husband but I would rather die before I danced with him.
We sat on thrones, his being more elaborate than mine. It felt wrong to be sitting on a throne so publicly as though I really was the queen. But I was, I was the Persevering Queen, the heavy crown on my head proved it.
The stairs that led down to the main floor were adorned with red and white roses to represent our unity.
The room had very little flowers overall. At my Union I had wanted the whole room to be decorated with as many flowers as I could find. In Crescent Port we didn't have a lot of flowers like here, but we had mayflowers and lilies, starflowers and berry blossoms. One lady in town had bought a rhododendron and it bloomed in the most brilliant red.
But here at my Union there were nearly no flowers.
I reached to take a sip of my water that was on a small side table next to me and made sure to check and see if it was water and not the drink I'd mistakenly drunk at that dinner I'd been forced to participate in.
The Sovereign laughed next to me when he saw me observing my drink carefully, "A little toddy never killed anyone." He said jokingly.
'Toddy?' I repeated in my mind. The men at the tavern were always drinking toddy, it was palm wine. Once my brother Rowan had come home tipsy saying he'd tried some toddy. He'd been twelve and had scared me half to death. That silly boy.
I threw a glare at him and drank my water.
Three men approached the steps, "The Tzar of Viskogorny, Tzar Matvey." A person announced.
The man in the middle of the three bowed and the other two followed, the Sovereign nodded and I followed.
"Viskogorny congratulates the Sovereign of Cadarama in finding a wife and queen." The middle man spoke, I supposed him to be the Tzar.
"And Cadarama thanks Viskogorny for their gifts and presence at our Union." The Sovereign said courteously next to me.
The rest of the evening flew by with more people from neighbouring countries and the leaders of the states. I hadn't eaten anything except breakfast all day and I was feeling quite faint.
I reached to take a sip of my water to keep my mind awake but my hands were shaking too much so I hid them in the folds of my dress.
I blinked hard as I felt myself passing out. I gasped for breath, I was going to be sick.
I put my hand to my mouth and attempted to keep the nausea down.
I felt a hand tap my shoulder and knew that it was his, "Hey, you've got to smile more."
I took a shuddering breath, 'When I can open my mouth without losing my breakfast, I'll be sure to smile.' I spat at him in my mind.
I rose from my seat and left the room.
Once I had dealt with that business I reentered the grand room and luckily it appeared as though no one had missed me.
"Feeling better?" A smirking voice asked me.
I swallowed and immediately regretted it, I reached for my glass of water to soothe my burning throat.
"No." I replied.
I felt queasy and ill. To be honest I want to sleep. Sleep. Where was I going to sleep tonight? Was I supposed to share a bed with him tonight?
I heaved a sigh and held my head.
"Flower, smile, smile." I heard his grating voice say.
I snapped my head to look at him, "I have been smiling all day, my jaw hurts and I was just sick. So sorry if I don't want to smile." My firm tone wavered near the end, my energy was seriously depleted.
"Alright then." He muttered.
I straightened myself in my seat and faced the crowd of happy people dancing and eating. I swallowed as I looked at a man eating a steak. I closed my eyes against the stem of nausea.
"My goodness, her majesty is looking ill." A voice intruded my thoughts. I looked up and recognized him as the man from Wanington, Lord Dimitri, the one from that wretched dinner.
I inhaled some shallow breaths and licked my dry lips.
"Are you alright your majesty?" He asked. I blinked and swallowed once again.
"Excuse me." I said flustered and retreated from the room hearing laughter behind me knowing it was the Sovereign's.
I sat back down once more and took another shaky sip of my water. The man from Wanington was gone and the Sovereign was not as jovial as before.
The Sovereign suddenly stood from his seat and announced over the room, "My noble guests, I am afraid that me and my queen will be retiring for the night. Please, feel free to enjoy the festivities for as long as you are able."
And with that he grabbed my wrist and I stumbled to my feet. The people cheered as we made our way to the exit. I wondered what they thought of our hasty retreat.
Another voice announced, "Our Lord Sovereign, and our Queen, Hydrangea of Cadarama."
The Sovereign nodded farewell to the crowd and I did the same. He then walked out of the room with my hand still in his.
He walked, but since his legs were much longer than mine he practically dragged me through the halls of the dimly lit palace. The fresh air wafting in from the open arched windows helped to calm my nausea.
We reached a set of doors that I recognized as his. He entered them and let go of my hand, finally. I massaged my poor fingers as he spoke, "That room is to be used as your personal chambers," He pointed to a door at the far left of the room, "That door, leads to my private chambers." He pointed to another door on the far right, that's the door I'd seen him exit previously, "I believe the instructors have been over the rules with you on what you are able to do."
I nodded.
"Excellent. You may change." He waved his hand and then disappeared behind the door that led to his private room.
I swallowed as I stared at the large bed in the centre of the far wall across from the main doors. I'd done so the first night I'd been in this room, and I'd done so the second time I'd been in this room, the second time I'd decided to not focus on it and moved instead to one of the large windows.
I could hear the ocean even now.
My eyes moved to the door that apparently led to my private chamber, my feet moved in its direction and I pulled it open and stepped through.
It was a small room with no bed, it had a small sitting area and wardrobe, there was a mirror and dressing table.
A door across from where I stood opened and a maid I didn't recognize stepped through. For a split second I had thought it to be Hannah. I missed her, she had been quiet and almost never said anything but I missed her.
The maid spoke and asked what I would like to wear. She opened the wardrobe and showed me the choices for nightclothes.
They were all pale in colour. I asked if I could have the blue one and she obliged. She removed the crown from my head and placed it in an ornate chest carefully.
After being changed from the suffocating corset, I couldn't believe what a difference it made to have it off, I had a soothing bath and then changed into my nightgown.
It was still strange and wasteful to me that people could have baths every day.
I exited the small room and entered the main chamber, there wasn't a soul in sight.
There was no bed in my small room and only a small couch that I doubt I could sleep on.
I steeled my tired nerves and moved towards the bed.
After taking a pillow I decided I would sleep on the Sovereign's couch, it was much larger than mine.
Just as I moved to set the pillow on the couch the door opened and he walked in, wearing just a robe and white cotton breaches.
He stopped and stared at me, "What are you doing?"
I swallowed, my throat was becoming dry.
"You cannot sleep on my couch." He said.
"Very well then, I'll sleep on the floor." I said as I moved to where there was a rug.
"And you cannot sleep there."
I raised my head, "Why not?"
"Because, what if a servant came in and saw that we were not sleeping in the same bed, do you not think that there would be some problems?" He clasped his hands behind his back as he moved to the bed.
I looked at my bare feet, he had a point. I didn't care about it though. But what if the Sovereign lost his temper? Would he force me to sleep with him and…
I walked to the bed with haste and placed the pillow back as I sat carefully on the edge.
"Just a ceremonial position, there'll be no reason for us to share a bed." His words echoed in my mind.
I lifted the covers over my legs as I swung them under and turned my body so I wasn't facing him.
Hopefully this was not what every night would be like. I closed my eyes and inhaled the sweet scent of sandalwood that I knew was the Sovereign's scent.
The Sovereign. He had a name. I did not want to imagine him having a name, it made him seem more human. But he was not a human, he was a monster.
A monster with whom I was now sharing a bed with.