- SOMEONE -
Do you find it terrifying when you suddenly experience happiness? Because in a split second, there's a possibility of you getting sad.
They say once you grow up, you must stand on your own two feet to defend your own rights. Be self-sufficient if you want to be a suitable marriage partner.
That was what my former father said to me. I was pressured. I grew up as a noble who knew nothing other than to be modest and attractive in the presence of other nobles and royalties.
'You should smile at the crowd,'
'Stand with pride,'
'You are the daughter of a high-ranking official. Show them that you're fit for the position. ' Those are the words that I can recall, until I met Her Majesty, Helvetica. At first, I was enraged with my father, who had gone to great lengths to ensure that I would marry a member of a royal family. A person that was known to be a bad omen in the Empire. The princess who doesn't kneel to no one.
Even to her father, the Emperor.
I didn't mean to be chosen as her spouse. I took the initiative just to make her detest me. Unfortunately, I was picked because of my father's influence.
Nobody wants to be tied down to a marriage without love. I was wondering why the Princess preferred to marry a woman rather than a man. With a man, she can have a child and she will be happy if she ever gets to have a baby.
However, it was not her intention. The longer I get attached to Her Majesty, the more I understand her world. It's not all about happiness, she's seeking. But it was all about the benefits she could gain from a particular person. She won't accept anyone who isn't going to be useful to her. She would kill them without hesitation if they ever betrayed her.
I've seen how she tormented those who regarded her with disrespect. The phrase that came to my mind back then was: She's a 'MERCILESS' person. It feels like she's not a human, but a psychopath who keeps punishing people. Her sadistic demeanor, grins, and face are all horrifying.
Despite that fact, she would come to see me every night and check on my health.
"Did you eat well?"
"Are you getting comfortable in the palace?"
Of course, I can't tell her that I'm scared and I wanted to go home, or she might send my head off. If I call her a heartless person, it'll be the end of my life.
So I told her that everything was fine and I appreciated her visit. On that night, I was wondering, 'Why is she coming to my quarter to check on me when we're only tied by agreement?'
The princess, who had previously been cruel to others, began to show her concern for me gradually. I thought, it was merely a sense of guilt or responsibility because I'm her fiancé, so I chose to ignore it and focus on how I could assist her in achieving her goals.
Perhaps, she will set me free if she gets what she wants from me. But I'm wrong. Because in those eyes of hers, she considers me as one of her treasures. It might be a change of heart since I'm becoming close to her. Even so, I choose to ignore that fact.
Who knows? It could be a false alarm. Someone will be nice to you because they want something, you know? That's given. Well, you can't blame me as my father used me as a puppet. He wants me to be the Empress and kill Helvetica so he can rule the Empire.
I thought I'd never get out of that nightmare. Until one day, Helvetica gives me the justice that I deserve. As much as I wanted to stab my father a million times for hurting me, seeing his head on the guillotine was already a satisfaction.
I began to laugh as soon as the blade fell to the ground. I became a sadist for a brief moment, as I ignored his hands, pleading me to stop the punishment. He died along with his servants. What a well-deserved prosecution.
That's when I realized Helvetica isn't just someone who punishes people for her own amusement. She's reasonable and that, she just doesn't want some commoners or nobles to smear her name. However, she was considered as a villainess who knew nothing, but violence.
Helvetica may be more violent than my father, but I don't think that Helvetica is the worst person living. I had fallen in love with her without even realizing it, but I denied it because I was afraid she would only see me as someone who could help the kingdom.
I was scared, but I summoned my courage and went to the garden to confess my feelings to her. I had no idea her response would break me even further.
"I'm happy that you finally confessed. But, I'm afraid that it's too late; please accept my apologies... It's my fault that I suddenly got tired of loving you. " It was late at night, and the cold breeze wasn't helping at all.
My tears began to flow. I could see her reaching for me, but as soon as a voice butted in, she withdrew her hand. "Your Majesty—" The voice is familiar to me. I'm pretty sure this is her maid, who's smiling and waving her hand.
I curtsied as I turned my back. "I'm sorry, it's already late. I'm going to rest. " I can't even imagine it. What does she even see in that woman that I can't even do? I'm much more worthy.. and yet..
That's when it dawned on me. Where was I when she really needed me? I always ignored her presence every time we crossed paths. She would always shield me from rumors and I see it as if it's nothing, but a mere responsibility.
Perhaps, that's what I lacked.
I can't understand her world and I keep misunderstanding her actions. Later that night, I made the decision to let her go. I packed up my belongings because I still knew my worth. And I'm not going to force myself to stay with someone who's already in love with someone else.
I notified Helvetica as soon as I woke up. I had hoped she would choose me, but she accepted my proposal, and I went back to where I truly belong. Isn't this what I wished back then? To be liberated from her? But why does it hurt so badly..
I just found myself crying every night, asking if her maid was so much better than me that she stuck with her until the end. How can she look at other people when she loves me first..
I figured that perhaps it'd be better to just keep moving forward.
Until I got word that she'd be joining the battleground.
I was scared, and I couldn't help, but go back to where it all started. At the palace. The sight was expected. They were bidding each other farewell.
And, as a woman with no experience on the battlefield, I volunteered to be a medic. Despite the fact that I had no prior experience treating patients, I wanted to watch her at least. It was obvious that Helvetica was aiming for victory.
Unexpectedly, we were ambushed by our opponents. "TAKE COVER!" She shouted those words, but it was too late. Millions of arrows are flying as if there are no chances of escape.
Nonetheless, she served as my shield at that time. The blood coming from her mouth, her smile that was comforting my terrified eyes, all of it was to protect me.
Now tell me, how can I possibly fall out of love with someone who has done so much for me? "I'd like you to live." I clutched her cheeks as the arrows kept on coming. "Look, I'm dying! Isn't it funny? " How can she even joke and laugh around in this state...
"But still, I never said I fell out of love. I'm just tired. " She held my cheeks for the last time as the final arrow pierced her chest. "I still love you, Lady Le Fleur." It might be the last death that I will ever witness.
The Death of the Villainess.
I wrapped my arms around her as I started to regret my decision. I couldn't do anything. I'm not even God to revive her. If I had just recognized my feelings sooner, if I had just allowed myself to fall for her, if I had just known her love.. then we would be the perfect couple..
"I am hoping that you will choose me in your second life, Your Majesty."
I thought it was going to be the end of all. When one day, I woke up to find myself imprisoned in a different body.
A noble named Camilla Rosenblitz. The Daughter of the Duke.