*Scenes before the commemoration *
"What about the sudden change of mood?" says Elijah, "You were too jolly earlier than you became a mum. So tell me, what's with that silence?" he added.
"Psh, your voice echoes at the whole mansion, " she exaggeratedly said. "something's bothering me—I mean, something pops on my head that keep running through it."
"That's it! Something's bothering you, Ahh! Can I ask you? I know this may sound nonsense but—"
"You already answered your question. That's nonsense. "
"Oh c'mon, aren't you going to know it first?" She laughs as she witnesses how crumpled Elijah's reaction is.
"Fine, just make sure not to pissed me off, I'm not in the mood. "
"Well, obviously...not. Okay, with that messy look, is this because you remember them?" Her brows knitted after hearing the word "them".
"What do you mean?" She asked confused medley.
"About them, Race and Racemm. I know you're thinking about them, aren't you?" Slap by the word, stricken by the situation. Elijah knows how to bring herself to realization.
"...."
"Silence implies yes. You were too bothered about them because tomorrow is their 10th anniversary of death. And why do you let yourself look miserable?"
"Miserable? Do I look like that?" Her voice appears to be pissy.
"Why? You think you seemed okay in that manner?" They swap sharp gazes but Reissha didn't win. "Oh sorry, my bad. I just want you to know that you can run on me. If you need me, I'm here. If you don't, I'm still here."
Reissha took a chance to embrace him. With that stunning action, Elijah almost burps and don't know how to react. They both woke up and realized what they're doing. So here's the uneasy feeling again.
"Uhm, sorry. I didn't mean to—" he cut her off.
"Nah it's alright, you need it though," he then gave her a short smile. "Any crucial thoughts? Wanna share it with me?"
She exhales unusually before she unclasps her mouth.
"I don't know...I just feel empty today. Maybe it's because I love them that much that I can't afford to accept the truth. You know, ten years...for ten years I live my life...useless and disclose." He pats her shoulder and finds a space to get closer.
"But...your life isn't "useless", it's special to me...God gave you this situation because He knows you can. He will never put weight on your shoulders that you can't carry. What's the course if they already left you? I'm here, we're here for you."
She never replied and just stay quiet for a while. They watch how the trees become jovial as the leaves and flowers dance gracefully in the blissful shivers from the sky. How she wishes she was like them, cheerful and pretending like nothing happened although things are getting heavy.
They remain calm and even every beat of their hearts can be heard anywhere. The hushed filled the surrounding with wondrous feeling. It was somehow aligned with the deaf. Those words are lingering upon their jaw and will drop at any moment.
Elijah stands for a purpose. He wants to leave Reissha not to be alone but to give some space for her; to think about random things and decide if she'll remain the same. But...when he's two-step closer to left, Reissha grabs her hand and motion, telling him not to. So he comes back until her companion opens up again.
Reissha says, "I hate things that remind me of them. God knows how much I hate April 11. He's the first person to know my thoughts, how I feel and my actions. He's also the one I've begged for their recovery...to their welfare...but he never listens."
Elijah shook his head while massaging his jaw. He held her hand and look into her eyes directly. Their eyes meet as the tension between them is getting erupted.
"Reissha, let me tell you that God's not dead. He cares, he listens and works every day. He has the biggest plan why He allows you to undergo all of these. Have you ever forgotten that He is everywhere? I'm sure he'll be there to guide and protect you always, okay?" His voice is in control. It isn't sarcastic or even faux.
"I'm not in the position for saying this but...dead people don't want their loved ones to suffer, to blame themselves for their passing. You must move forward and forget." He added.
That created a bang in her chest again. Her system was having difficulty in sinking it to her mind.
"But how can I? If I'm still into that incident?"
"My advice is this, don't be obsessed with your past, instead, focus on the things you have for now. That's the thing you should be thankful for. Having someone who'll never leave your side, and it's Him." Elijah said not taking away
A few talks about current topics until Amanda interrupted them with her loud and clear voice echoing the veranda.
"Sorry to disturb you, but ma'am Sha, your mom was calling several times. She said you have to go back to your mansion for tomorrow's preparation." She never hesitate to obey her Yaya and rapidly fixed her things.
Before they leave, Elijah has something to give to her and by any chance, she accepts it. A simple thing that makes her smile.
To Reissha;
Hey, before I approached you at the veranda, I've done a weird thing. I read literature books and found this for you.
"The more you love a memory, the stronger and strange it becomes."
—Vladimir Nabokov, Lolita
The instant of her tea unlocks loneliness inside and conveys the discourse.
"Is this is? To be able to stop the pain, you must forget and move on? But your memories of two bro's will always be remembered," she thought.
From now on, she got acquainted with a person she never expected to be with. A person she judge too much and rejected the first time they meet. But...she managed to create a connection to Elijah, and that's a big thing to her family. Is there any chance that she might fall for her?