A dick shaped system.... And its name is Dilf...
Are you guys kidding me?!
Pierre was angry because of the current situation. The dick shaped system was talking like a robot infront of him, explaining what is happening and why he is here.
["Host name: Pierre Razec
Age: 20 years old
Status: Single (no boyfriend since birth)
Family: All deceased"]
["Host Pierre, Dilf the "Supporting Character System's" 2nd host, 2nd owner. Please treat this system well. Dilf wish to get along with the host. Dilf will now explain the situation."]
["Host died. Cause of death, step on a poop, run away because of humiliation, was hit by a car. Host was transmitted here in System Universe. Dilf was the only system who was free that's why Dilf is here. Dilf is happy because finally this system will now have a host. However, Dilf is also sad because the host is unlucky."]
Pierre was stunned because of what he heard. Is he insulting me or what?! He already know that he's unlucky but no need to slap it on his face, okay? He was already tortured for so many times and yet this system has the guts to insult him. How ridiculous! Huh, what if I won't accept this situation? I will just die and go to heaven, or in hell. He doesn't want to do anything. He's too lazy to even talk.
["Host can't refuse. The System Universe already set worlds for you to choose and for you to travel. Dilf the Supporting Character System is here to be your guide. You can ask anything to Dilf as long as it's all about the world you are in. "]
The system was about to continue when Pierre finally talk--I mean, shout.
"SHUUUUT UUUUP!" He pulled his hair frustratedly and yelled. "You are so annoying! How could you talk like that? Sounds like a robot, so annoying! You always stops word after word! It's pissing me off! Can you please talk normally?"
The system was stunned. It's the first time that someone told the system to be normal. The system's inside felt warm for a sudden, then it quickly vanished.
["Host, no need to shout. Okay. I'll do whatever you say."]
The 'dick shaped system' bowed in front of him.
["Hello, host. My name is Dilf. Pronounce, he/him. Single, 1 year old, turning 2 tomorrow."]
God, this is just so awkward. A dick shaped is bowing in front of him. A dick shaped hologram that has the same size of a 12 inches ruler is.... bowing his tip at him.
What the?
Pierre looked away. He blushed a little and pretended to cough. "So... you're name is Dilf?"
The di-- the system nodded its 'head'. Pierre blushed more, now looking like a tomato. He blinked his eyes many times before looking at the system's 'eyes'.
It has eyes! The dick system has eyes!
"Yes... I'm Dilf, the Supporting Character Syste--"
His eyes got bigger. He doesn't know if he should believe on what he heard or not.
"What?! Supporting Character System?! And Dilf?! Dilf as in Daddy I'd Like to F--"
The system cut his host's words.
["I'm the Supporting Character System."]
"You're Daddy I'd Like--"
["Supporting Character System."]
Cutted his words again, Pierre gulped. He doesn't know the reason but he thought that maybe the system doesn't want to talked about his name. Well, who ever named him is crazy. The one who named him must be into roleplay. Gosh, that must be so embarrassing if the system is with the other system. Calling him Dilf.... Tsk! Tsk!
"Fine! So care to tell my why I'm here?"
["You were the one who summoned me, my host."]
"I was the one who summoned you... but you just said that I was the one who was summoned here at your system universe. Are you kidding me? Do you want to be punch?"
["The system is wrong. Please let me correct it."] the system suddenly got bigger that shocked Pierre who almost collapse after witnessing the dick shaped hologram got bigger. ["Host was summoned here in system universe by the order of the highest court, highest system."]
"By stepping on a poop?!" —— is what she wanted to say, but just stayed quiet.
"By humiliating me?!" Pierre was overwhelmed. He remembered the time when he stepped on a poop and the people around him laughed. That was really embarrassing to the point that he want someone to bury him 6ft under the ground.
["Please don't say that, my host."]
"..."
["..."]
"..."
["Ahm... So..."]
"Ehem!" He pretended to cough, avoiding the awkward moment. "So what is my role here?"
"Good question!" Cheerfully said by the system. Pierre was shocked and thought that wow, so this system can do different emotion, huh... "Your role is to be a supporting character in a dirty and messy novel. All you have to do is to act as what the personality of the SC is and never go OOC. Your first novel is called "Jar of Hearts".
"Wait... Jar of Hearts?! You mean--"
"Yes, my host. The novel that you made when you were still in 10th grade. The straight novek that you made, the phase where you still haven't discover that you are a homo."
Pierre's eyes twitched. "Yah, you bastard!"
"I just said what's on the scri--" The eyes of Dilf suddenly got bigger. He was suddenly struck by a lightning that made him stand straight. The most awkward part is that the system twitched three times. He started to tremble and his eyes rolled up, and after that he weakened. Even though Pierre was unpleasant by what he saw, he still managed to asked the system if he was okay.
"You... you okay?" He gulped and wanted to pat the system on the head but stopped because he thought that it was too uncomfortable. A lightning hit the system again when his hand that was supposed to pat the system's head is already down. "What the hell? Where did that lightning came from?!"
Dilf sighed deeply. "The world that you will be entering now is on my list. The first world will be chosen by the Highest Court. After you complete the chosen world, you will move to the next world but the difference is that you will be the one who will choose what kind of world you want to enter." He speaks continuously like nothing just happened right now, like he wasn't hit by a lightning.
Pierre was about to speak when the system cut him off.
"Get yourself ready, host. You will now start in three seconds." Said by the Dilf.
"What?! Wait a minute--"
"Starts in three--"
"Wait! I still--"
"Two--"
"Wait!"
"One. Have a good day, my host. Remember to not go OOC."
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Pierre: ༼;´༎ຶ ༎ຶ༽