I knew I was back in Veluinia the moment I regained my consciousness. Brine hung thick in the air, jolting me awake from the stupor I fell into hours—maybe days—ago. I didn't know how long I was unconscious. It's happened to me a lot of times before. I used to panic and pass out when circumstances became overwhelming. I never seemed to get over it.
And Draco... the last image I saw of him was emblazoned in my mind. My heart quickened and my chest tightened in the anticipation of another panic attack. But I couldn't let myself go down that road. I could almost hear his voice telling me to calm down. No more panicking. No more passing out. I needed to keep my wits around me.
Amaris' name floated out of nowhere and it filled me with a sense of calm. For Amaris, I told myself. I repeated the mantra in my head until another name joined hers. For Draco. Again and again and again, I repeated those two names in my head until the pressure abated from my chest.
I was calm and collected. And I needed to think.
The room was small but well-ventilated. The circular walls made of polished sandstones suggested I was in a tower. I didn't have to look out the only window—secured with thick, iron bars to ensure I wouldn't escape through it—to confirm my assumptions. I looked out all the same.
The tower was in the southeastern corner of the castle. It overlooked the ports of Veluinia where ships in all colours and sizes, some with sails unfurled, bobbing over the gentle waves that lapped the barnacled beams of the wooden platforms. Flags from different kingdoms adorned some of the ships, fluttering in the winter wind that smelled like salt and cold fish.
I wasn't dumb enough to not know that these were visitors of the king for... for our wedding. The thought of it made me blanch.
I was startled by the door opening and the familiar face of the man I ran away from entered with a smug smile on his face. "Ah, my beautiful bride. Did you really think you could get away from me?" he taunted.
"I am not, and never will be, yours," I spat. He only sneered.
King Rolfe paced the small room, stopping by the bed I woke up in, and eyed the tangle of disturbed sheets. "That's where you're wrong. Tomorrow at dawn, you will be wed to me and no one—I tell you—no one can stop me."
"You knew, didn't you? You knew it was him."
The king looked up and met my eyes. My breath hitched at the sight of those familiar sapphires. "I had my assumptions," he said. He started walking toward me. "I had to get rid of him before he gets any ideas. After all, he took my wife away from me."
My jaw tightened. Through gritted teeth, I hissed, "He's your son."
His face flushed with anger. "He's a murderer! I loved my wife so much and he took her away from me. I will not let him take another woman from me again. You. You are mine!"
"Never!"
I didn't see it coming. His palm struck my cheek and my head snapped to the side. Stinging pain bloomed where he hit me and I had to bite back the whimper that almost slipped past my lips. My eyes watered, my vision blurred, but I let the pain remind me of what he was.
I met his eyes, hoping he could see the defiance written all over my face.
King Rolfe placed his hands behind him. "That monster is dead, and I won't hesitate to kill another if you won't listen to me. Say, your sister perhaps?"
"No!" The corner of his mouth turned up when he saw my defiance crumple. Not Amaris.
"One wrong move, Chandra. One wrong move and I'll have your sister beheaded in front of you."
As soon as he left the room, my knees buckled and fell to the floor, sobbing.
Ꙍ
I was escorted out of the tower just as the sky transformed into a field of carnation and wisteria. The two guards said nothing apart from the King's proclamation when they opened the door to the tower.
The Queen's chambers was everything I expected it to be, lavish and extravagant. Here, the windows were left open. King Rolfe knew I wouldn't dare escape with Amaris' life on the line. Maybe it made me weak, but I couldn't bear the thought of losing her. Sweet, lovely Amaris.
I stared at myself in the mirror. Seafoam white lace bloomed just below my collarbone. It swept over my breast from the blue waves of tulle that made up the bodice. A bright blue silk sash was tied around my waist before the dress exploded into a skirt of blue tulle and lace. A small whimper escaped my lips as a necklace of wrought gold was gently clasped around my neck, the sapphire pendant resting at the hollow of my throat, reminding me of the ocean eyes deeper than the Southern Seas.
The handmaiden didn't bother styling my hair because of its length. The colour already began to fade, making it look more russet than red. When she deemed me acceptable, she stepped away and made a move to leave. I stopped her, not even sure why. She watched me with pity and curiosity, and I loathed it. In the end, I asked for her name.
"I am no one, my lady," she replied. I shook my head. "Come. The King is waiting for you."
Two guards accompanied me to the throne room. I caught both of them sneaking glances at me when they think I wasn't looking. It was the look of pity that I'd come to hate. A few days ago, in this very same castle, my life changed. It was only going to get worse.
The place had been redecorated. The sandstone walls complemented the blue swaths of fabric and banners that adorned the place. A massive feast was laid out at the table set at the far side of the chamber. Chandeliers of glass and candles swayed above us, casting shadows that danced to the music of the minstrels at the raised platform in the middle. Royals and courtiers, merchants and guests milled the expanse.
A hush fell over the place when King Rolfe stood and began walking in my direction. My chest tightened. I didn't fail to notice the attention I was receiving from the crowd. The murmurs fell silent in my ears when the king stopped in front of me.
My legs ached to run away from this place but I couldn't. For Amaris, I reminded myself.
"You looked lovely tonight, my love." King Rolfe took my hand and pressed his lips against my skin. I said nothing. I didn't reply for fear that I would be unable to control my mouth. When he told me to smile, I smiled. When he told me to wave, I waved. For Amaris.
Ꙍ
Amaris was waiting outside my chambers when I retired from the party. I closed the small distance between us, my body colliding against hers and she pulled me in an embrace. I let go of all restraints and cried against her shoulder. "I thought I'll never see you again."
She stroked my hair. The revulsion I felt from the party earlier was replaced by sheer relief at the sight of her. This was my Amaris, safe and smiling.
"Let's get you inside." She led me inside the chambers without any protests from me "What happened?" she asked as she closed the door.
I sat at the edge of my bed, unable to look at her. "I don't want to marry him, Amaris, but I can't be selfish."
"Lois told me." I looked up, meeting her eyes, the twins to my own emeralds. Before I could ask who Lois was, she added, "She's your handmaiden. She overheard the King's threats to you."
Her face softened as she approached me warily, waiting for my reply. She knelt in front me and her thumb traced the rogue tears I didn't notice I shed. "You don't have to do this," she whispered softly.
"He'll kill you if I don't agree." I looked away. Sobs punctuated my words. "I can't... I don't want you to die."
Amaris cupped my cheeks, forcing me to look at her. Soft and stern, she told me. "And I don't want you to bind yourself to someone because of me."
My heart broke at the sight of her emerald eyes glistening with unshed tears behind the curtain of hair. "I can't let another person die because of my selfishness."
She stilled. Her mouth opened to say something then closed it. Again, she opened it but no words came out. I looked away, unable to face the truth of what I just said. For hours, I refused to think about Draco, fearing I'd walk away from everything if the thoughts of him consumed me.
"Another..." I heard Amaris whisper, more to herself than me. "What happened, Chandra? Those past few days, what happened to you?"
I shook my head in an effort to speak. "His name was Draco, he..." My hand flung to my mouth to suppress the sobs. The words stalled in my throat, choking me. When Amaris wrapped her arms around me, I allowed myself to come undone.
I cried in her arms until I fell asleep. All through the night, Amaris held me. When I opened my eyes to sunlight, Amaris was nowhere to be found in my chambers but I saw the handmaiden from yesterday. Lois, if I remembered correctly. In the candlelight, her sunken cheeks and thin frame became more apparent.
When I asked her about my sister, she shook her head in answer.
Ꙍ
The king didn't want to wait anymore. After the stunt I pulled the night before the betrothal announcement, King Rolfe refused to waste time and decided to marry me today. In the early hours of dawn, everyone was already busy. The wedding was to be held at dawn, symbolic for a new ruler to greet a new morning for Veluinia.
Wordlessly, Lois led me through my ministrations and dressed me in a white gown with modest sleeves that barely covered my shoulders. The front of its heart-topped bodice accented my bosom. The skirt was a mishmash of tulle and chiffon, overlapping together to form feathers. I was wearing a wedding gown.
As a child, I pictured myself wearing a wedding gown and thinking of how special today would be. There was nothing short of anger and dread in my body today. I was paraded like a spectacle for the king last night. He didn't want a queen. He wanted someone to own, to publicly declare as his personal amusement.
I hated it. I hated that there was nothing I could do about it without risking Amaris' life. As much as I wanted to blame Father for putting us in this situation, I couldn't. He sheltered me my whole life. For Amaris, I was willing to endure this.
Through the mirror, I caught Lois sneaking wary glances at me. She braided the front section of my hair and pulled them back. I considered talking to her but opted for silence instead. I wasn't in the mood to talk.
The gaze I gave my reflection hardened with resolve. For Amaris, I told myself again. Repeating her name was the only thing that kept me sane.
Ꙍ
My chest tightened and I welcomed it. I knew I was in enough control to handle myself well. Today should be the perfect opportunity to pass out. It should give me satisfaction but I shook the idea out of my head. For Amaris, I reminded myself.
A red carpet was laid out on the aisle with the guests occupying the seats on its side. In Veluinia, it was customary for a bride to walk on the aisle alone and for the groom to meet her halfway to the altar. The breath hitched in my throat when the first notes of the wedding march echoed in the closed quarters of the church.
Each step was heavy. Each breath was laboured. Each second was longer than the one before as I walked down the aisle, condemning myself to a life I never wanted. King Rolfe walked to me, his stride confident and smug, exactly how his demeanour was arranged, knowing he would be bringing home his prey. He was a hunter, and to him, I was nothing but prey running on a tight leash. I grimaced beneath my veil.
When we met in the middle, he paused long enough to extend his hand to me. I took it, and together we completed the journey to the altar where the High Priest, in his white robe, waited for us. The crowd remained silent. Amaris was nowhere to be seen and worry crawled up my stomach.
"If you're looking for your sister, I suggest you stop now. You'll never find her anywhere," King Rolfe whispered. He must've seen me squirming. "She tried to set up your escape last night. I warned you already."
My mind went blank. Silence muffled my hearing that even my own heartbeat stilled in my chest. My feet stopped moving. "What did you say?"
"Your sister is gone. I take my word seriously, my love."
I didn't know how it happened. It was like losing awareness—being there, but not. My mind drifted to a vivid memory of me and Amaris in the gardens of Arundell Hall. I was six, she was nine. We ran barefooted on the yellow-green grasses, chasing butterflies in buttery sunlight. Her hair was tucked behind her ear as we ran with wide smiles on our faces. When I stumbled on a tree root, she was there immediately, picking me up and telling me not to cry.
She was ten. I was seven, crawling into her bed because the storm scared me. She'd stroke my hair, singing softly until I fell asleep. I'd wake up in the morning with a cup of hot cocoa, her prize for my bravery.
Then I was nine and she was twelve, helping me escape our governess. She'd teach me about history and tell me stories at night. She'd bring me sweets when I felt sad and made me laugh at the right moments. She was there every step of the way and now... now, she was gone. Amaris. My sister. My best friend. Sweet, beautiful Amaris.
The wedding must be over because I felt the weight of metal in my head. The Queen's crown dug into my head uncomfortably. My name was a mantra on the crowd's lips. But it was Amaris' name I wished to utter on mine.
I was too lost in my thoughts to realise the cathedral was under attack.
In a blink, the cheers became screams of distress. Glass, stone and dust exploded when a large beast crashed through the cathedral's edifice. When the haze of dust cleared, the crowd panicked at the sight.
A dragon, shaking the debris covering its massive figure, slithered through the crowd. Its scale gleamed silver in the fading moonlight, with a barbed tail and wide wings that spanned the width of the cathedral. It rounded its gaze as if looking for someone and stopped at me.
A surge of recognition flashed in those familiar sapphire eyes.
My heart seized.
There was a clatter of armour as knights fell into formation, creating a barricade between the King and me, and Draco. The roar that elicited from his mouth shook the entire place. Draco barrelled through the wall of men, his wings and tail warding off anyone who dared come close. I was rooted to the floor.
He was alive. And he was headed in my direction.
An arm surrounded my throat and I felt the press of something sharp against my skin. Draco stopped in his tracks, the pupils of his eyes dilating in what I assumed was anger. It took me a moment to register the fear in my mind. My heart sped up and fear—fear like nothing I felt before—coursed through my veins until every part of my body screamed for me to get away.
"Take a step closer and I won't hesitate to kill her." The king's voice rumbled through my body, and it was nothing like Draco's that put me at ease. His voice fuelled my fear, making my knees quake as he pressed the dagger closer. I hissed when it broke through my skin and stinging pain assaulted my senses. The metallic scent of blood rose in the air.
I saw Draco's body tense at the scent, his gaze narrowing in apology and helplessness, and taking a step back. Metal clanged as the guards surrounded him with their shields and swords up. I shook my head, wanting so badly to tell him to run away.
King Rolfe chuckled behind me, and my body stiffened. I felt his breath on my cheeks, warm and reeking of spices from whatever he last ate. "See that, my Queen? There is nothing to stop me."
His lips hovered over my skin. Dread turned in my stomach when it made contact with my lips. I felt repulsed and disgusted. Draco let out a thunderous roar. At that moment, I took the opportunity of his slackening arms to elbow his abdomen. His blade grazed my arm as he staggered backwards. The pain was instantaneous, but I forced it down, unwilling to acknowledge it until I was safe.
Alarm rippled through the wall of men when their king fell to his knees, trying to catch his breath. I ran, as fast as my trembling legs could do so, and hurled myself at a frightened guard unsure of what to do with me. He stepped aside as if seeing the burning determination in my eyes was enough of a silent order.
I stumbled but caught myself as I entered the ring of guards around Draco. Tucking me between his wings, Draco looked at me and I breathed out the words I was dying to tell him. "You're alive."
He bobbed his head. A nod. I nodded in return.
Draco turned away, and he roared. His roar was the fury of the gods, of the strongest tempest and the deepest hell, echoing with the wrath of a lover and revenge of the lost prince. The ground quaked in his presence, and the stars seemed to tremble in the wake of his curse.
I watched the guards shiver in fear, stepping back with their faces blanched. It emboldened me to fight. I would not be afraid, and the words never felt truer. So I stood to my full height, letting the weight of the crown steady me, and I stared defiantly past the line of guards, past the rubbles and debris, and into the eyes of the man who led me to this moment. I saw the fury in his eyes but I did not shy away.
I would not be afraid.
A guard approached the king and gave him a sword. He took it in his hands and his lips curled into a smirk as he turned over the blade. The guards parted for the king to pass. "I've slain dragons far fiercer than you, boy. Don't think for one moment that you stand a chance against me."
A guttural snarl was Draco's reply. I moved back as he slithered forward. His entire body was tense, but there was a precision to each movement that I knew he was poised to attack any moment.
"This is my fight," King Rolfe announced to the guards. "You are not to interfere."
The king was a dragon-slayer of legends, but that was two decades ago. He had grown accustomed to a life of luxury. Still, there was nothing but a glint of smug satisfaction beneath a mask of fury in his face. And I realised why he was stalling, why his eyes kept darting to the stained glass windows of the church.
There was a flash of blinding light. I threw up my arms over my eyes to shield my vision until it settled down. Morning had come.
Draco stood before me, looking at me worriedly. He was human again. It was genuine fear in his eyes. He knew just as much as I did. This was it, our last stand. We had to fight or we die trying.
I took his hands and stared into his eyes. "Together."
"Together," he echoed.
His hands were warm as he laced our fingers together. I savoured the feel of his calloused fingers against the back of my hand. We stood before the king, hands holding, with steel in our blood and fire in our hearts.
The king raised his sword and launched himself at us.
Fire engulfed the world.
Ꙍ
I was consumed by flames that didn't burn me. It crackled in my ears and my blood sang to the rhythm of its fury, banishing the shadows that danced at the edges of my mind. I spiralled down farther and farther, plunging deeper into the well of power inside me where flame and fury melded in its wake. Anger and grief fused to stoke the rage of the conflagration and I barrelled into it, welcoming it wholly.
Everyone had fire in their hearts, but it takes courage to let that fire consume you entirely. For Amaris whose love for me burned as fierce as the sun, I'd burn. And the world, the world that saw her as no one but a damaged woman, should burn.
I let myself burn with each memory of her smile, her embrace, her soothing touch and the sound of her voice. Amaris with her copper hair and sunshine smile. Amaris with the scars of what she went through and came out laughing. Amaris with the effulgence of a million suns. Amaris with the glimmer of starlight in her eyes. For Amaris who always wanted the best for me.
I burned and burned and burned.
Ꙍ
My knees slammed to the floor with the force of the falling sky and I braced my hands against the marble floors. It was followed by the clattering metal and the weight in my head disappeared. I was breathing in ragged pants like the air itself scalded my lungs with each inhale. Tears welled in my stinging eyes and my head spun.
A grunt from beside me pulled my attention and I saw Draco.
I must've stopped breathing. My mind blanked out at the sight of the sword buried in his torso. The familiar tightness of my chest came back. Breathing became a struggle, a fight for dominance between fear and alertness.
"It's over. It's over, Chandra." His voice was barely a rasp. "I'm sorry."
Ringing silence filled my head. I turned to the crowd to plead for help but saw no one. There was only Draco and me in the ruins of the church. Blood hung with brine in the air, and lungs revolted to inhale the air.
I cradled his body in mine, ignoring the scalding heat of his skin against mine. I could swear it glowed golden despite the stain of vermillion that pooled beneath him. Holding him, knowing there was nothing even the best healer could do to staunch the life that was draining out of him with every second.
I already lost Amaris. Losing Draco... I knew the devastation would be too enormous for me. But I held him tightly. The song of our hearts was no longer in tune; his was slower than mine, growing weaker. A breath hitched in my throat and my hold on him tightened.
His sapphire eyes had lost their gleam, staring past me, past the roofless church, at the distance between the stars that slowly flickered away in the arrival of the morning light. Above us, the sky transformed into a canvas of transitions, a million shades of grey turning to black as I gazed to the west.
Finally, I found my voice. "I didn't want to marry the king, but I never thought it would mean losing you."
"You didn't have to," Draco responded quietly, careful to keep his tone neutral. He wasn't looking at the skyline anymore, but at my hands he held in his.
"Have to what?" A sob punctured my words.
"Lose me." He finally met my eyes, sapphires against emeralds. "All I wanted was to stay with you, Chandra." He cleared his throat. I saw the spittle of blood he tried to hide, and his voice dropped lower. "And for you to want me by your side."
"Is this the price?" A sob escaped no matter how hard I reined it in. "Is this it?"
He let go of my hand, and those fingers, the ones that threaded through my hair to soothe the panic in my veins, traced the rivers on my cheeks. His eyes were glazed with pain, his lips pursing into a suppressed wince each time he moved.
"You are my moon, and no matter what happens, the heavens will only break us apart for so long until I find my way back to you." His hands tightened around mine.
I whispered, "And I promise to find you in every lifetime, among the stardust and worlds unknown, I'll find you."
"I love you," he whispered back.
I leaned in, seizing the moment in my hands, and pressed my lips to his until our breaths mingled. His lips, once velvet petals of the camellias he gave me, now cracked and rough, quivered as he pressed it against mine. It was a kiss of goodbye, of an impossible tomorrow, of the future we both knew would never come. I traced the rivers on his cheeks, unsure of whether it was mine or his.
When his lips stilled against my own, I knew he was gone. But I didn't move away. I stayed there, cradling his still-warm body.
I bade goodbye to the stars winking out one by one as the first of rays of the rising sun swept the sky with pale blue brilliance. Buttery sunlight crept over the debris and rubble of stone and dust until I was illuminated as well. The seas called out to me. The wind sang in a hushed tone as if sensing the grief inside me.
For Draco and Amaris, the two people who gave their lives for my freedom, the two people who made me endure, who I failed to protect, I would not be afraid.
His body was still warm when I pulled away. I registered the pain of the stones digging into my skin as I pushed myself up but I ignored it. Bright red stained my gown, reminding me of the camellia I once received, of how the flame in my heart grew.
I kneeled in front of Draco, his eyes still open, blankly gazing at the sky. Slowly, I closed them, whispering my promise to him.
I summoned the steel in my veins. Despite the tremors in my fingers, my gait was steady. Each step was sure. There was only one thing for me to do.
Stooping down, I picked up the crown of gold and sapphire from where it fell to the floor and placed it on my head.
For Amaris. For Draco. I was no longer afraid.