Hermione stopped, brushing a loose strand of hair from her face. Again, she decided to ignore Harry's comments. She knew he mostly said them for himself and to make it easier to accept the information, by either joking about it or being sarcastic.
"Anyway", she continued, waving a hand tiredly. "Philippa came running to me and told me everything. She asked me if I would go to his ward and calm him down so they could give him the necessary treatment."
"Calm him down?!" Harry bursted again, eyes wide in shock and disbelief. "You calm Malfoy? Have you told her that you and Malfoy have been enemies since the first year of school, that he hates muggle-borns and you especially since you'd beat him at every class?"
"Of course, I told her." Hermione replied, frustration dripping from her voice. "But she thought I might be able to do something, anything. It was either that or they would have to curse him senseless."
"Then let them!" Harry exclaimed, clapping his hands together. "I'd have done that from the start, honestly."
"I know you would." Hermione frowned at him. "But it doesn't work that way. You can't administer a proper treatment if you knock your patient out every time you have to go near him. Besides, Philippa knows me well enough. She was sure I could at least handle him without being frightened. Unfortunately, he's not the only aggressive patient we'd had, and she saw me dealing with a few before."
"Oh, I bet they had to be taken to a different ward after meeting you: the 'effects of a deadly beating' perhaps." Harry snorted in amusement.
Hermione smiled as well and went slightly pink in the cheeks. It wasn't something she was always proud of, but her temper came in handy sometimes. She still remembered how she slapped Draco in third year, so, presumably, she wouldn't have felt that bad to repeat the move. At that moment she was brought out of her reverie by Harry's voice.
"Hermione, I'll be honest and say this again: I don't think it's a good idea, this whole thing. You still have nightmares from all the hell you've gone through at the Manor and the war, dammit. How do you think you'll be able to sleep knowing who's in the other room?"
"I've thought about it too, and I admit I have moments when I doubt it is the best choice, but if you think I will be a coward and run away from it, then you're very much mistaken, Harry Potter." She said, nostrils flaring slightly, fingers going white from clasping the cup too tightly.
"I know you're brave, Hermione." Harry sighed. "You're the bravest and smartest person I know. I'm just worried about you."
"I know." Hermione replied, looking down at her feet, feeling the tension ease a little bit. "But", she continued slowly, still looking down, "you haven't seen what I saw. That day, when Bellatrix…"
Hermione stopped, choking on the words, feeling shivers down her spine and an ache in her forearm. She felt the urge to grab it, to hold it, as if to protect herself from some invisible harm.
Harry waited for her to resume, not pushing her to talk. He knew how difficult it still was for her to remember what happened that day. Their capture, her torture, the escape, Dobby… He stopped. It was hard for him as well to think about that.
After a few moments, Hermione seemed to recover slightly. She was still rather pale but felt strong enough to continue.
"When Bellatrix was torturing me." she said in a low voice. "I tried to focus on something else, to try and cope with the pain. So, I looked around. Draco was there." she took a deep breath before continuing. "And his appearance struck me, Harry. His body looked rigid, his hands were shaking slightly, but I'm sure he was putting an effort to control it. He looked as if he was in even more pain than I was. When he noticed me staring at him he averted his eyes but for a split second I saw them… terror and despair, that's what I saw in them. He was being broken, Harry, in that very moment he was being tortured alongside me."
Hermione finished with a loud sigh, looking up at Harry. She might have sounded a bit too dramatic, but she knew her best friend would understand the meaning behind her words. That day at the Malfoy Manor had changed her perspective on many things, one of them being the fact that Draco Malfoy didn't have a stomach for torture and killing and she knew that now.
Harry stared at Hermione, letting out a deep breath, one he didn't realize he was holding. Slowly, he closed his eyes in defeat. Hermione was smart and brave, like he told her earlier, and she could take care of herself. After all, she was the one who took care of him and Ron throughout school. Merlin knows where they would have ended up without her.
Even knowing all that it was still difficult for him to forget how much pain she was in, both mentally and physically, after Voldemort was gone. It had been difficult for all of them. Having to go back to living a normal life proved to be an even bigger challenge than the war itself. And now, Hermione seemed willing to throw herself back into that hell, and he couldn't stop her. No one could.