So will I forever be sad or will I actually make a difference in my life? How long will I continue to live in fear? How many times will I keep on having flashes from the past?
I want to be free, free of the memories of my past and free to be happy.
I walked out of the bathroom and went to put on my pajamas, then I cleared the floor where I slept and laid my bed but didn't lie in it, I went to my desk and brought out my journal. I ran my hands over it and warmed up inside me, something always flutters inside me when I pick it up, sometimes joy other times anger and most of the time it is sadness, the deepest and worst kind of sadness; melancholy I guess. I feel sadness more intensely than I do other emotions, I've always wondered why but have never been able to get answers or even understand myself, so I have just accepted it as a part of me, I'm a sad girl.
