From the time I first got here, I've always loved this hill, it has a flat and very even top which makes it easy for me to dance on it without missing my step.
I brought out my phone and played a classical music to dance ballet to, I already mastered the steps to this since I was eight (and it was a huge relief and achievement when I did.) I'll be leaving here a little bit late, so I'll just dance to my ballet playlist. I dance for two hours here, and when I get home, I always TRY to dance for about 3 hours when I'm home, so, I take 5 hours out of my day…it's still not enough to be as good as Kathrine.
I pulled off my sweatshirt, leaving me in my tube top. I looked at my skin, at the marks all over me and anger surged in me. Anger and nothing else, I had scars all over me, scars that serve as a remainder of poverty…a constant push for me to keep on dancing for my well-deserved future, and I will keep on dancing till these scars will not make me cringe anymore.
I literally use comfy clothes to school majorly because I'll come back to dance on this hill, because I can't dance in super tight clothing, and I'll be way to exhausted from moving around in such clothing to dance at the end of the day.
Ignoring the horrible scars of mine, I began to move my limbs to the music, dancing so perfectly to the music, flowing rhythmically, feeling the wind against my skin and smiling at the sun as it went down, looking around me as I blended with the music, at the trees blocking me from the outside world and serving as my own audience. I smiled to myself imagining just how pink my skin would look from joy and exhaustion…this is my passion…there's nothing more that I'll love to do on earth.
Dance is a little bit like my only motivation to keep on pushing to have my revenge on my dad. But why am I still not as good as Kathrine and the others? I take 5 hours out of my day to dance despite the inconvenience and lack of time…I still try to complete the 5 hours even if I would be deprived of my sleep, I still dance for 5 hours because, if I don't what else would I do? I can't mingle with anyone, I stay off-campus with a girl who isn't a student, she's my age and works somewhere, her name is Brittany, she's not very rich and she's just right for me. We don't really talk much because I'm always spending time dancing, but despite that, we're still great roommates, and that's what we both need; support.
My apartment is pitiful, I don't even know how to put it, or should I just call it a single room? The restrooms are outside and we don't even have a good water supply. It's just a residence fit for our budget, we get our water from a well, and we get our cooking/ drinking water from a tap down the street. Fine, it's embarrassing, but we don't invite people over, I doubt Brittany even has friends at work, and the only friends I have are Muyiwa and Samuel, so we don't invite people over even though the room is usually tidy.
I kept on dancing and by the time the playlist ended, the sun was set far away from the eye of man till tomorrow. I got dressed and made my way to the shuttle park, leaving my personal theatre in peace till the next time I'll be dancing.
.
.
.
"Yo! Brittany! How's it going?" I asked as I go into my room.
"Same old, same old," Brittany's squeaky voice replied and I plopped myself down on my bed, removing my top. "so, did you get any luck with getting booked?" she asked.
"Nah, still nothing." I replied, looking at her caramel skin illuminated under the single light bulb in the room.
I really wish I had a better phone, I looked at myself on my phone's blank screen and gave myself a sad smile. When will all this end?
"Wake me up when it is 10,"
"Won't you eat Ire?" she asked concernedly.
"I'm not hungry."
I heard her sigh as I rolled myself on my stomach and drifted off to sleep, forgetting about my worries; of life, food, money, shoots, happiness. With nothing on my mind except for the severe hatred I have for my father (it's quite hard to forget all he did and to forgive him for it too).
"Ireolamide, stand up!" I felt a slight tap on my legs, argh, I hate that! I opened my eyes slowly and shut them back while muttering.
"Quit muttering and get up!" Brittany instructed.
"Why? Is it 10 yet?"
"No! You need to eat."
"Ooo, I'm not hungry."
"Your stomach has been saying otherwise for the past half hour. Get up."
I glared at her and got up slowly, wiping my eyes. I really hate the way my life is, but I'm only trying to love it because of my mother. Even though her life has been messed just as bad as mine has, she's doing all she can to keep us happy…just the two of us are one happy family, yeah…a family. I don't really ask much of my mother because I know what we went through and I was pretty mature by the time we got a breakthrough, so, because of all her efforts to enroll me in dance classes and to keep me in it I decided to be less demanding of her.
I tried to earn myself some money by doing petty jobs during the weekend before I leave for my dance classes…I did it to help support mom, she used the money I managed to earn to pay for our clothes, and she used her money for the bills. I refused to attend school parties that required fees because I knew it would only add to mom's list of worries, so I spent such days dancing while mom was away at work. I just wanted mom to be happy, that was my biggest wish.
Mom doesn't earn much for us both because she isn't too qualified, else, we should be very rich, and it's quite difficult to deal with the rising prices of goods and commodities in the Nigerian market.
I made a promise to God when I was 15 that if I make it as a professional dancer, I'll make sure I try to elevate us from our current status. It's not funny, at least there is water supply at home now. When we first moved there, I'd have to fetch water daily…juggling between school, dance classes and house chores, I was an overwhelmed little teenager with no friends and pillar of support and with no defense or even self-defense. It is disheartening to think about it, that's why the only thing I enjoy doing is dancing, it clears my mind and uplifts me…and I aim to make a living out of it.
I know dancing is my purpose in life, I once asked God what it was and I kind of saw it. Fine, I'm not really a strong Christian, but I strongly believe in God's plan for my life and I don't toy with it. One thing that pushes me is the fact that God gave me this talent to bless the world, so if he gave it to me for that purpose, I'll make it in life, no matter how long it might take, I believe he will act on it in due time.
I think one major reason I still haven't been chosen is because I can't dress in exposing clothing, I mean, being half-naked on the screens of millions of people worldwide is definitely not something I'm interested in. My religious belief as a Christian is against that and my mom has also taught me better. I don't think it's easy to survive in the entertainment industry without being a little bit revealing right?
I ate my meal thanking Brittany, she really has my back, always. We always have each other's back, but still…she's more like a sister to me even if I have no idea what it's like to have a sister.