"Is there any way someone like her could be saved?"
I pondered as I slowly get absorbed into oblivion. I heard a whisper but the blurry vision I see in front of me was like chaos.
I tried to pull myself back and slowly cleared the scene in front of me. I'm outside home so it's fine to stay in reality.
It was that friend, that same person… the culprit in having these weird emotions and thoughts.
I hate the sentiment… of having the same feelings and thoughts. But we aren't the same.
"Hey! Hey! Earth to Cecil… hello?"
It seemed I failed to pull myself together. Though I can hear and see Art clearly, my mind doesn't want to work. She kept on calling and talking, knocking on my desk. I leaned my back to the chair, drawing my body from a long rest on my desk.
I'm wide awake but my mind just doesn't want to cooperate.
"Cecil… you aren't feeling well. I'll walk you home."
Art leaned closer and put her forehead to mine checking my body temperature.
"No…"
I guess my mind was yanked and processed the word 'home' outright. I pushed her forehead lightly away from me with my index finger.
"I mean… I'm fine. I think I'm just still sleepy."
"After that tough game, you're still feeling sleepy?"
"…"
I actually don't know. I've been affected by that book, no… it's actually the author. I've played well during the volleyball game but now I'm back to being lethargic.
"We still have how many hours before the day ends? I feel like checking the movies before going home."
I fiddled with my hair and yawn carelessly.
"Your parents aren't home again?"
"I don't know. I haven't seen them in ages."
I subconsciously muttered the last sentence.
"Eh?"
"Doesn't matter. Are you coming?"
"No."
I noticed her Art's concerned face and moped.
"Mom got work tonight and I have to take care of my brother."
"Ok. I'll just go by myself then."
I stood up and grabbed my bag leaving Art standing in daze. I didn't try to look at her and just left.
"If your parents aren't home, why not just go home?"
"No. I need to clear my mind."
I waved without looking back at her.
I thought I was walking without gravity and felt my feet not stepping on the ground, my body feels like being pulled and pushed. I don't know if I am taking too long walking or getting fast.
"Ha!"
I blurted a mocking sigh silently and scoffed at myself as I noticed I was at the center of the soccer field. It was so quiet. The sun is starting to set. It was so beautiful. I can feel the afternoon breeze leaving the field.
"Am I really thinking about her or about me?"
I looked up and stared at the sky, then closed my eyes. It felt like my arms voluntarily raised themselves and I dropped my bag. I slowly moved my right foot, sliding it to the right, and slowly make a circle in place. Once I completed one rotation, I slowly start to spin and just let my body continue and fell. Feeling my back on the well-trimmed grassy field, I slowly opened my eyes and sigh.
"I didn't know I could still appreciate things like these."
I stayed there for a while and decided to go home.
"Home. Ha! Who am I fooling?"
I arrived home at around 6:30. It was dark as usual. But there were shoes left near the door. Those were my father's and mother's…
"No. These aren't just my mom's and not just even my dad's. Hahaha!"
It's so hilarious. I can't stop laughing in my mind. I tried my best to laugh out loud but my voice won't come out. I punched the wall several times to relieve the craziness in my head. I wished it would break but it's just so sturdy leaving my clenched fist bleeding.
"Waaaahhhh!"
An old lady screamed as she found me near the entrance while carrying a lamp in her hand.
"What an old-fashion."
I smirked at her.
"Miss. What happened to you? Why are you bleeding?"
The old lady approached me and whispered, trembling. She approached me cautiously… but most likely not because she's concerned or what. She moved cautiously because everyone who's having another night of their lives might reprimand her for creating such a ruckus.
"I'm fine. I ate already. You don't have to walk me to my room."
I motioned to the old lady, answering the question she'll ask next, and avoided her next move once I answered.
"I've been living in this hell all my life. I've memorized every corner even my eyes are closed. So, this darkness is nothing."
When I reached the second floor, the smallest light at the end of the corridor was lit. Before I could take another step near my father's room, the door opened. I stared at the gap and saw someone, who's wrapped in a white silky blanket, coming out.
"Waaahhh!"
Her high-pitch scream was so penetrating and it really hurt my ears. I want to slap her really hard… as hard as she pounces my dad on the bed every time.
I heard my dad's footsteps from behind her and felt his irritation. He knew it was me of course. Who else would disturb him with even trivial matters? I was prepared and started to head towards my room.
"10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1…"
"You, useless wench!"
Slap!
Thud!
Buff!
A minute after I entered my room, I started counting in my head. 10 seconds, and it's always on time.
"Hahaha!"
With those words to her own daughter, those are just some, he slapped me at the same time. I got used to it and learned some things so I won't feel too much pain with the following blows he's going to do to me. He wouldn't care if I cover myself or anything, as long as he can relieve his anger at me.
At first, I thought I was in a drama movie. The one that has always been left alone with no one to rely on. The typical story. Then I thought, maybe they were just waiting for the right time to approach me. When that time came, I desperately reflected on my mistake. I thought I was wrong to ask for their attention and at the same time, I was right. I was right thinking they were just waiting when they can beat me, hurt me.
"I didn't do anything wrong. I studied very hard but I really just can't get a perfect score in all of the subjects."
"You have the nerve to talk back?"
Slap!
"You stay in your room until you reflected on your mistake!"
Clack!