I finally stop crying. Snot and tears soak my shirt, but I don't care. I truly don't care about anything right now. I don't know that I ever will again. I couldn't have my mates. What compares to that pain? And the most horrible thing is that they hadn't rejected me. So we are still connected. I still feel the pull to them. Even though they are somewhere in the packhouse, my soul still calls to them and theirs to mine.
Did I go through all of this pain for nothing? If they don't reject me, I will end up just like my father. Yearning for two people I can never have.
Devin is still beside me, saying soft words of comfort, but I barely hear him. It doesn't matter. Nothing does anymore.
"Bray." Devin shakes my shoulder, making me look at him.
My eyes feel sandy from my tears and I rub them with the backs of my hands. "What?" I croak. My voice is rough, my throat raw.
"Have you ever thought about asking Z and Charlie what they think about all of this? You know, as the Alpha and Luna, I think they know what all of this could mean."
"No." I shake my head sullenly.
"Don't you think that you should ask their opinion before single-handedly deciding to ruin the bond between the three of you?"
"No." I shake my head more emphatically. "I know them. They would prepare for the consequences, but they wouldn't let it stop the bond. They wouldn't worry about their own safety, only mine. I can't let them do that. I love them too much.
"Brandon - "
"No, Dev! This is it! This is my decision!" I yell, standing and turning to face him. "Everyone needs to accept it and we need to move on." Throwing my shirt onto the bench, much harder than necessary, I strip off the rest of my clothes. I quickly shift. I grab my shorts in my mouth and run into the woods.
I hear Dev calling my name, but I keep running. I need to get away from him. Away from everyone. From everything: the pack, the expectations, the matebond...and my shattered heart.
I don't even know where I'm going, I just run. For hours, I continue to move through the undergrowth and trees. Through the meadows and back again. The sun has risen high in the sky, putting it around 1:00 by the time I stop at the waterfall again. Something about this place just calls me back whenever my heart hurts.
I shift back, rinsing myself off in the water of the pond before pulling my shorts on. I lay on a large rock by the pond, trying not to think, but my thoughts automatically turn to Zak and Charlie.
Suddenly, I hear movement in the forest to my left. Sitting up quickly, I recognize the omega that the Oracle has taken under her wing emerge from the treeline. The one she says will replace her eventually. Meredith. I've never actually spoken to her. Great. Just what I needed.
"Oh! Future-Beta. I didn't expect to see you here."
"It's ok. I was just leaving." I stand from the rock and prepare to go into the treeline to shift. Though nudity isn't a big deal in a werewolf pack, stripping in front of just one person, especially one you don't really know, is still considered a little rude unless unavoidable.
"Future-Beta!" She calls and I turn back.
I give her a small smile. "Brandon. Call me Brandon. I hate the formalities of this title."
"Brandon," she says awkwardly, though she gives a small smile of her own. "Don't leave." She pauses as if to collect her thoughts in response to my confused expression. "I felt...drawn here. I think that I'm supposed to be here to...to talk with you."
My confusion only deepens. I'm sure that Meredith is great and all, but what would we have to talk about? And why? "Drawn here?"
She begins to pace. Slowly. Methodically. As if she is choosing her words carefully. Finally, she stops, turning back to me with an embarrassed smile. "Sorry. I'm so new to this Oracle thing. Lucille says that it will get easier with time. Anyway, I feel like the Goddess brought me here. I think that she wanted me to talk to you."
Baffled, I ask, "Why would the Goddess want you to talk to me?"
"Today is your birthday, right? You will find your mate."
"I already found them." I hang my head, tears already gathering in my eyes.
Meredith steps a bit closer, her voice softening. "I take it that it didn't go well."
I look at her and the tears start to fall. "No. No, it didn't."
"Wanna talk about it?" She sits on the rock where I was laying. I've already talked about this with Devin. I've agonized about it since last night. I don't know what else to say.
But there is something about this girl. She's not even 18 based on what Zak has told me about her. But she seems wise beyond her years. She exudes an aura of calmness and I can't help but want to tell her everything.
So, I sit on the ground at the front of the rock. I stare out at the pond, the tears on my face mirroring the flow of the waterfall. I pour everything out to her: the years that I've loved both Zak and Charlie, the pain I felt at their mating, the time that I spent away from them because of it, our finally being together this past week, and what led up to my decision to reject them. She remains quiet the entire time, just listening to my story.
When I finally stop talking, we sit in silence for a few minutes.
"That sounds like it has been extremely hard for you." Her voice is soothing and empathetic. "I'm not sure how you've coped so well for so long."
I huff out a humorless laugh. "I'm obviously not doing so well right now."
"Brandon...can I ask you something?"
I look up at her. Though her face is dry, her eyes are red. It's almost like she had been crying with me. I turn my body towards her, laying my head on the rock. "Might as well."
"Why do you think the Mother mated the three of you?"
I'm taken aback. "What?"
Pursing her lips, she seems to collect her thoughts before speaking again. "The Goddess knew that you would face these difficulties. She has held back mate trios for generations because of the hate that caused their extinction in the first place. But we already know that there are at least two mate trios out there: your father's with the Former-Delta couple and the alpha of the Diana pack. There are likely more. Do you really think that Mother Selene would mate the three of you if she was just going to let you die?"
I hadn't even thought of this. "I...I don't know."
Taking courage, Meredith's body language comes alive. Her face becomes animated and her hands begin to fly as she talks, explaining her point. "I don't think that she would. Selene knows exactly what she is doing and she elected to mate a former-delta, an alpha, and a beta. That is probably one of the strongest matings ever. Just imagine the power of that mating compared to any other trio that you've heard of. And with all of your natural gifts, plus the Goddess given ones, I can't imagine that many packs will turn away from us."
We sit in silence as her words sink in.
"You are letting your fear of what might happen overcome what the Goddess knows will happen."
My eyes snap to hers and I realize that she is right. I'm not allowing myself to be happy because of an uncertain future. I'm an idiot! How could I throw away this Goddess given happiness because of my own anxiety?
I suddenly stand, causing Meredith to startle. "I have to go. I have to find my mates."
I begin to run toward the treeline so that I can shift, but I turn back to Meredith. Pulling her up from the rock, I wrap her in a hug. "Thank you," I whisper.
She stiffens at first, but quickly relaxes into the hug. "Anytime, Brandon."
I pull away and give her a huge smile. "You're going to be an amazing Oracle." With that, I shift, not bothering to take my shorts off. I have to get to Zak and Charlie. I have to make them mine.