Taking Ishida home everything went pretty smoothly, information overload and everything pacificed him. Almost felt sorry for the teen, from there with the teen being rather overwhelmed, coerced into the family through some calls. Mom and the kitty doing some things to make it seem perfectly normal after a call to them, all while they shared mischievous smiles very likely.
However, when we first got home and Pschent smelled arousal in the air, I immediately stormed mom's bedroom. Kicking the door off of its hinges. Wood fragments flying through the air, the door barely hanging onto a half ripped out hinge.
I caught them in the act and all I could do was grin evilly. Clapping loudly and asking one thing that caused both women to throw stuff at me.
"When are the kittens due huh?!"
"Fucking damn it Zero! That's my bedroom door you just broke!"
"We can't knock each other up so shut your trap! Stop clapping!"
I ran away cackling when the weapons came out. The others sat in the kitchen drinking stuff like orange juice, lemonade, sweet tea, or milk with amused looks on their faces.
"We heard everything, it was enlightening to see how a more dysfunctionally functional family embarrasses each other. It's less… dull… than how the noble Egyptian families act, even my own, which makes me gag whenever I meet any of them…. Just why hasn't this level of… familyness… happened before now?"
"Certainly more lively than home…."
"It's mortifying to know what my mistress is doing…."
I just pointed at Ishida.
"Because of our newest member."
"Why am I to blame for whatever just happened?"
""Because you likely set off something, and so they probably got drunk and started fucking with amused joy.""
"I don't question this family…. It's better for my sanity…. Even though I'm involved with it heavily…"
"Because they got horny in amusement and happiness?"
"Horny cat…."
The teen could only stare at us all, pinching his nose with an amused scoff while he drank his coffee. Eventually Mom and Yoruichi joined us at the table which probably looked terrifying to some creatures. As there's a Vasto Lord, a twenty tailed kitsune, a Caitten (Anubis Jackal/Leopard) Beast, a Black Cat Beast, a Shinigami, a Quincy, and two Juki's just peacefully sitting around a table. It was peaceful though… peaceful enough that I began to hum and slowly sing an old song me and my men sang at funerals. As that song was just something I didn't want to forget.
"We know we're dead men walking
Running through the valley of death
Death on our heels with his hounds
Yet we're laughing till our last breath"
Tapping my fingers along my mug of hot chocolate, my gaze staring into its contents as steam wafts off it.
"We've committed some of the worst crimes
We've broken the rules of society just to play, to survive
Yet as we run through the valley of death, we laugh
Laughing out loud like a bunch of Hyena's
Even as death claims us one by one, we laugh
For we know, oh we know we're dead men"
To my eyes alone, faces flash through the light reflections in my hot chocolate. So many faces… so many friends have just gone because of war. I sang so I didn't forget my fellow war criminals that became my family even now.
"Yet even though we're dead men walking
We'll laugh until the last breath
Running till death trips us up to claim us
Because to us, we're more free than everyone else
We're more certain of our end than everyone else
We won't say goodbye, we won't dread the end
Instead we'll laugh, we'll kill with a smile on
For we know our endings, so why worry
We're more free than ever
knowing we've got nothing left to worry for
So we're dead mean laughing out breaths away
Smiles on our faces, mistakes forgotten
Regrets known, but released in the end
Dead men with running to the end gladly"
No one spoke, they just seemed to listen to my song, a song of times left behind with the dead. That silence though was interrupted by a knock on the door, so while everyone was silent I went to answer it. Taking a sip of my drink along the way, humming the rest quietly to myself. Though from behind me I heard my mother speak after slamming her drink onto the table. The barely audible sound of ceramics cracking and wood creaking being heard.
"That was a nice song… you should sing your old war songs more. I'll even share some of my own, though none related to my Reich. People don't really like those kinds from any Nazi Juki's."
"I'd listen, if only to laugh at your past life."
"Not if I do it first! Because fuck some of those songs were horrible…"
Shaking my head I opened the front door to stare at Keigo and Ichigo. Keigo was holding some bags of food, meanwhile Ichigo simply stood there trying to glare into my soul. The orange haired teen had his hands in his pockets while wearing an AC/DC shirt.
"Yo, you found my home. I don't remember giving you my address either."
"Ehehehe…. I sorta used Ichigo getting detention to sneak into the school records and find it… Ichigo tagged along after he found out I used him to do so. I brought some homemade dishes though for Pschent and Suì-fēng! Some may be burnt though because I let my siblings help…"
Snorting, I just shook my head while taking a sip of my drink. Moving out of the door and heading back to everyone else.
"Well then best come set that all down then. Just don't start shit or you'll win stupid prizes for playing stupid games."
Hearing them follow as the front door closed I led them to where that food will end up regardless. Keigo though wasn't surprised to see Alepko, the two stared at each other before saying somethings that were amusing.
"Ah you're the fox that tried living with my family."
"Hi again Human! I found my shrine~ my shrine and its family~."
"Heh good on you. Hope everything has been well then."
"It's perfect! I even helped make some chili without getting fur in it!"
Ichigo… Ichigo won a stupid prize because the teen decided to swing first in disbelief instead of screaming. He also tried attacking Zane, which got a violent reaction from Pschent. She slammed her EXTREMELY hard skull into his making a meaty crunch echo. Before he could even taste the floor, Yoruichi and Seì-fēng had both stabbed him in different pressure points with force that he was out like a light. Looking at the downed chimera, I just added insult to injury and stomped on his head.
"Now that's just rude."
"No, it's justified. Anyways, it seems you're not surprised by Alepko, or anyone else here."
Keigo just blinked before just speaking the honest truth.
"I mean, I figured something was going on with you two as Pschent would have a tail at random. As for why I'm not surprised about the kitsune, it's because I see a lot of strange things in this town. I mean you don't just forget watching a Kappa have sexual intercourse with your bathroom sink then turn into water to escape."
"I'm sorry for your memory."
"Gross…"
"Why a sink?"
"Some Yokai are weird."
"Chew toy…?"
"Not the weirdest thing I heard."
"I've seen weirder and dealt with down right weird."
The teen just shrugged with a carefree smile on his face, handing the inquisitive Caitten the food that she was trying to take. Chuckling as our bee also took interest in it I just waved at them to scurry off with it to wherever. The two women simply smiled before taking it all to their corner of the table and beginning to inspect it all. Ishida watched us all with a small forlorn and longing smile on his lips. Though whenever he looked at Ichigo he just blankly stared at the downed teen.
Though it was a surprise to everyone when the teen suddenly jolted awake only to get stabbed in the face by Ishida. Ishida's Quincy Cross finding purchase in the teens cheek as Ichigo tried swinging once more on instinct. With a rough pull of his weapon Ishida tore the thing from the teens cheek, Ichigo hunching over and screaming at being stabbed. Keigo looked on at his friends suffering and just sighed tiredly.
"Ichigo, stop swinging at people you'll likely die at this rate."
"Why are you so calm about this?! Fffff he stabbed me in the face! She nearly caved my skull in! They shut my body off! And it feels as if someone kicked me in the head! So why are you just accepting this Keigo?! How do you even see these things?!"
Staring at the irate teen screaming at us all, Keigo just took a deep breath then sighed loudly.
"Ichigo, you keep attacking them all first, you don't honestly think they'll just let you beat on their family members do you?"
"Family-"
"Yes, family members. Dude that skull dog is literally wearing a dog collar like a pet, the fox is a literal shrine god living here! You think that's just for fun? Ichigo, dude, you're being more rude than anything in someone else's home. Should I tell your mom that her son helped deliver food for pregnant women, only to try beating two members of their family to death. Then complain about getting beat up in return over it all? Because dude, your mom would be terrifying and disappointed in you, much less so your dad who's a doctor and your sisters."
"I… but… this… fine!"
"Now apologize dude. Don't look at me like that, own up to your mess dude."
Ichigo said nothing and in the end just glared at us all as if we're the idiots that messed up. Keigo ended up calling his mother and we all got to watch the boy die inside with mortification. I even added more insult to his injury by accepting something his mother proposed.
"Mrs. Kurosawki I would be DELIGHTED to visit your family clinic with my wives for a check up. Your son is practically jumping in JOY at the chance to help you and your husband make sure everything is alright. We'll see you tomorrow around noon then, have a pleasant night ma'am."
"I'll tell my husband to expect you in the afternoon then, Mr. Carrion! Honestly this will be the first in while that we get to check on pregnancies. Ichigo, come home now, we need to have a mother and son talk…"
"Yes…."