Lily felt a sudden gush of emptiness surround her once she heard the tires of Dilan's car speed out of the house. She walked around the house looking for something she could get herself busy with. When she found nothing she went back to her room, his perfume still lingered. She lay on the bed when a sudden memory resurfaced in her mind. It was the day she had flown back to the country to meet betty and also the day she had pronounced in front of Silvia and everyone that she was Mrs. Thor.
She remembered vividly telling Dilan that she couldn't love him because she was philophobic and they both agreed on not having any kind of feelings towards each other. She sighed when she remembered their vows, at first she had taken it to be nothing until she heard him repeat his last words she couldn't explain why but she felt a kind of sensation of happiness fill her but then it dissipated before it could even manifest. She also reminisced when Dilan had told her outspokenly that he loved her. She battled within herself if he had meant it or not but she became convinced that he didn't when his cold attitude towards her hadn't changed a bit.
He did have a stainless-steel heart, guaranteed not to warp, bend, twist, or go back through the wringer. She wasn't so sure of herself could already feel her once strong through the flames. Each day Dilan had left for work and returned the felt this tingling sense of excitement and anticipation in her veins. It had been an effort to speak casually. Her heart was thumping like a sledgehammer, her mouth dry. She couldn't let herself fall in love with him yet she couldn't resist this strange exciting new sensation sweeping through her body.
She remembered the advice betty had given to her when she tried to persuade her to get married to Dilan
"I wish I could prove to you that it's all wrong to close yourself off the way you do, your missing so much. Sure you get hurt, loving people, but you don't die of it, you get up and love again, and grow, and get better at it. And I don't think you're immovable, I think you're scared" With that Lily fell asleep.
She woke up late around 5 pm. She went straight to the dining where her dinner had already been placed as usual. The maids were already used to her daily activities....she would sleep till around evening time when there were sure that their master would be back to lighten those gloomy eyes of hers. She sighed she needed to find something and engage herself with but she knew Dilan would refuse.
She finished her food and lay on the couch reading a magazine. She got bored and walked out to the garden. She felt an arm wrap around her.
"Miss me?" he asked in his usual tone but she didn't reply
"Why do you still come back to me?"
Dilan raised a brow
"I know it's not the first time we've met"
He sat here down on the large swing lily had persuaded him to get and sat beside her.
"God knows I tried" lily turned to him with a sharp gaze but he didn't seem fazed
"But something draws you back again and again because you'll find no satisfaction with no one else"
"Does it mean you have feelings towards me?"
He smiled ruffling her hair and walked away without giving her an answer but she already knew that that was a no.
After having his dinner and taking his shower he prepared for bed. Lily toweled herself dry, refreshed, and warmed by the shower, she slipped into her nightdress and velvet housecoat. She switched on the electric fire, plugged in her hairdryer, and luxuriated in the warm rush of air while brushing her hair into its easy natural waves.
"I'll be traveling for a month to Morocco tomorrow" Dilan's voice rang from behind.
Lily nodded without facing him and continued brushing her hair. When she was done she laid beside him, he was already fast asleep she glanced at his face tracing every inch of him. She turned to the other side to avoid seeing his face one more time of what she might do
A tear dropped from her eyes. She'll miss him yes! Did she love him? Yes!. Emotions were growing within her towards him and she couldn't help but accept that she had grown deeply in love with him.