'What was it that he thought when we parted ways, I always wondered.
Perhaps it was a notion that we would never see each other again.
I was never one to believe in such a thing. My life would be long, I knew. So then, what?
Was it that he wished to strike me down at that moment? I doubted, for I could see many things with these eyes.
So, was it that he wanted to join me? While I indeed saw such a thing, it belied the truth hidden so expertly behind his visage.
Did he feel remorse over it having to be this way, as a small part of myself did? Was he angry? And if so, at what?
I always wondered these things. But then, there was one thing I was always certain of. One truth that became clear once I gazed into those gilded eyes of his.
I saw him at the end of his path. Thus I knew what that meant for the distant future. Yet… I knew nothing about how that coincided with the lost past.
I saw him, as a Sera…m'
Amun's Annals. Vol 7. Ch. 16.
***
Lancelot Morningstar.
2 Septara, 1492.
06:28.
***
The event was inconsequential. The Emperor knew it. That was why he sent me there.
Like last year, there would be few, if any students, willing to walk in the light. A shame, considering the Millennial Class was the Bodhi Tree's last. But that, I was aware, was the hubris of my light speaking. Our forefather lost the rights to the Bodhi Tree when he lost a duel against the Headmaster. But even if he had won, it would not have been ours still.
No one played the long game better than the Nox.
The event was inconsequential. The Emperor knew it. That was why he brought them here.
Unlike last year, there were few, if any, Guild Masters anticipating the presence of his light. A boon, considering the Millennial Class, was the Bodhi Tree's last. But that, I assumed, was the admiration I had for Him speaking. I had no proof that he planned his attendance here. But even without such proof, I suspected as much as the case.
No one has proven to be as proactive as the Elven Devil.
Every Guild Master, unaffiliated with Polaris, missed his match up last year and thus wanted to see him this year. And so, when they did, they couldn't help but flock to him. Like the students of Class 999, they could not help but feel relieved by his calm demeanor, so they relaxed themselves around him. Their ears opened to his words. Their minds became sponges for his unbelievable tales. Their bodies turned to his Troupe and his Sub-guild Masters- our classmates- with open arms, and so they began to view them as equals; if only at this event. Ranked Mages, aged decades beyond him with years more experience, sought His company; His approval; His companionship; His alliance.
No type of might or magic I'd ever witnessed could charm someone in such a way. Not even the divine mana pouring off of him produced such an effect, although it helped. It was born purely from his charismatic eccentricities. Not his magic. Not his sorcery. Not his drow blood. Him.
The event was inconsequential. The Emperor knew it. That was the reason I was eager to follow his order.
That was the reason I cared not about the stares, the snide remarks, or even the reports that would make it back to my father. I had to see him. I had to speak to him, for the next time we would look each other in the eyes, it would be too late.
No one has been as kind to me as Amun.
Like every time before, he seemed… innocent. The way he smiled and carried himself made it seem as if he had not a care in the world. Although, with all things considered, he had more on his plate than any of us. Regardless, there was no hostility from him as we walked. There was only that amiable smile on the surface, and on the inside… melancholy. Buried somewhere beneath that heart of gold.
"So…" I began. "You really are a god."
"Yes." He nodded slowly, staring those strange eyes into my spirit and soul. Those eyes, only told of in the tales of our light.
Looking at them, I could only speak the truth. "You have the eyes of Zefroth." His head tilted just a degree. But otherwise, there was a long silence before I stepped forward. "Yet… I have seen many beings who would be called good. It is almost like an… aura that surrounds them. Varying in color. But always pure.
"Monochrome." I corrected. "I have seen more so-called evil beings. They are shrouded in the haunting ghosts of their past, their aura being akin to oil on water. I have seen neutral beings. An opaque cloud of neither malice nor altruism. But in you, I see… too much. Everything. The Darkness, Death, and Void that is your birthright. The most natural Light. Material. Energy. Fae. Fiend. The very universe itself. But all of that is tame compared to that cold, timeless wickedness that is a part of you, filled with such pure and warm divinity."
He said nothing. He only pulled out a decorative coin and showed me one side, an empty white plain and a void sky; then the other side, a forest in the night looked down upon by a star-filled dome.
He set the coin down on its side and spun it, then looked at me in a way that explained everything. As it flipped, the first side changed from a barren plain to that vibrant forest and back again. The pendulum of light and darkness, swinging to and from their apexes of dominance. Repeatedly, it seemed throughout the ages- throughout the moments- until the movement slowed and it fell on its side, never to move again.
Only then did he speak. "Two sides of the same coin, beset by the line between them."
I looked away, trying to find the meaning in his worlds. But he pressed on before I could find the answer. "Did you know I destroyed the Shujen Kingdom?" I turned to the pained look in his eyes. "Some thirty thousand soldiers- knights and barbarians, mostly." He then shrugged as if it meant nothing.
"I did it because every night, I would hear the same two voices pleading to save them from their tyrant king of a father, who threw them out in the cold forest to grow strong because they were sickly and weak. Begging for someone to rescue them from their mother, who tortured and starved her son for being kind to animals and not killing senselessly.
"Of course, it's the same story told a million times before, albeit in a distinct flavor. But those voices had potential, and so I acted. Those voices are now my companions. And now, the peasants within that kingdom are protected by those who warred against me in life, raised in undeath. It is, for all intents and purposes, a necropolis with a living population. The people buy products created by the undead, who return their gold as a tax for living among them. The dead have no avarice, after all, thus the people now live like royalty.
"From the outside, it may look like a place tainted by 'evil.' However, those who live there are anything but. They are better now than they've ever been. But, from the moment I stepped foot in their land until the moment I left, they thought me a monster. All because of the way I look." He gestured to himself- the horns, the eyes, and the teeth of his first ancestor.
"Only when I left and their lives improved did their opinions of me- of drow and undead change. But that is of no fault to them. My family, on both sides, has earned the right to be feared and hated across the realms. But that does not mean I am to be hated for simply existing.
"In turn, that does not mean I hate or have anything against your father, Lance. Or anyone else in your family, for that matter. So too does that mean I have nothing against dragons or giants; orcs or goblins; demons or any other despised or beloved creature across the realms. It's not what we are that makes us good or evil, Lance. Neither is it the choices we make. Wholly, at least. The reasoning behind our choices determines our morality. The consequences of our actions and those impacted by them determine if we are good or evil. That was part of my reason for coming here. To spread that message among the Optimus Regni, and perhaps encourage others to spread it as well."
"It is as I said." I smiled, shaking my head in despair. "We are cursed, you and I. But from what I have learned of you, I trust you to be an honorable person. Though it may rest within the deepest pit of darkness in existence, you have a heart of gold, Amun. It is my deepest regret that, no matter how much I or you may prove as much through our actions, some will forever be so close to the light that they will forever be blind to everything else."
"Yeah." He sighed deeply, and in a way that held a trillion meanings. "Mine as well."
"You may know this already." I said after a silence. "But be careful when you go deeper into Nonus next year. You'll be under surveillance no matter where you go; for our light shines in every place within the explored realms. As I'm sure yours does here and in Maru. And." I added. "Let it be known that the Storm of Storms looming over you is no longer guided by the light. Feel free to do with it what you will."
"Thank you." He lowered his head in respect, then rose with a curious glint in his eye. "If it is of any solace, I plan to go to the Misty Arbor."
While I intended to leave, hearing the name convinced me to stay with little effort. "It does indeed bring solace." I nodded, smiling in excitement for the first time since receiving my orders. "While the Misty Arbor has its problems, a branch of the family has been eyeing the land for some time. It sits to the far southeast, near the junction between Nonus and the Steam Line. It's home to quite exotic life forms, not to mention, it yields a path into the Inner Reaches. Our agreement with the Keepers keeps them from claiming it, however. If you're willing to take the Keepers and the surrounding nations into your fold, I imagine it would greatly increase your standing with my family."
Rising, I gave Amun a full bow and rose to look him in the eye for the last time in probably centuries to come. "This may be the last time I see you for a while. So, thank you, Amun. I will never forget your kindness."
My heart swelled when he stood to return the gesture. It swelled and subsequently burst when the door shut behind me, bleeding all over my spirit throughout the journey back home.
I said those things to him, though they were not entirely true. A bigger regret remained in the depths of my heart. It would surface every time I thought of my situation and my small cage in the vast lands of Nonus, then compared it to his free rein in his vast playground that was the Mortal Plane.
More than anything, I regretted not having the freedom to get close enough to become your friend, Amun. And yet, a larger regret would one day surface when we became close all the same.
Closer even than friends.