"Crk, crk, crk." My knuckles popped.
Desya caught me when I tried to leave the guest room and since then, has seated at the large table he sat at. Yet, instead of sitting with me, he stood behind me. I couldn't see him, but I could hear his low breaths just metres behind where I sat.
"You know, when I heard you were the current Empress of Aolenoa, I thought, 'Wow, that sounds crazy!' But as you and Love continued talking, the more absurd shit spouted from your mouth. I mean you- A skimpy looking whore, talked Love into war? Making your personal maid an accomplice to a war? Huh. That's when I realised you weren't crazy. You're just batshit insane." Desya advanced. I was speechless.
If I hadn't been clenching my jaw, it would've been dragging on the wooden floorboards. Wow, this was completely unexpected. Who'd known a big, burly, stoic-looking man would have such a foul mouth?
The silence continued, urging me to say something. But what was I to say?
"Why are you starting a war? Why can't you be like every other Aolenoan; surrender, accept defeat and survive? Why affiliate Love?" Desya continued. My eyes widened.
Forced silence, Desya not wanting to sit near me, repeatedly asking me about Love. I quickly understood what he was doing. Desya was testing me.
In my previous life, my mom often did this to me. She would create a distance; not talking to me, sulking and forcing silence into our relationship. Then, she'd repeatedly push me over and over until I get worked up. When I did get worked up, she'd use that as a reason to punish me. I smirked. Thanks mom for being so toxic. It really was a great way to train me to spot others trying to test me.
"Why not? Love has made her choice. A brave one at that." I shrugged.
Over time, I would get sick of my mother's torments. So I came up with a plan; to trap the person laying the traps. If my mom were to sulk, so did I. If she were to lay traps for me to get me worked up, I'd do that too. Each time, she'd pick a bone with me; I'd only respond calmly. Instead of trapping, that woman was caught in the traps she'd set for me. I have to admit, though, this plan was originally just to stop her torments. Yet somehow, it became entertaining for me as I got older.
"Choosing survival is brave. Forcing a child to war isn't." He responded.
Right where I wanted him.
"Oh, I didn't say surviving wasn't brave." I giggled.
"Love is old enough to realise what she wants. What ruler would I be if I choose to ignore the pleas and dreams of my citizens? Furthermore, I already failed in saving her father. So the least I can do is offer her vengeance." I hear the man behind me clear his throat.
Yes, cook under the same heat you put me under. You should regret not choosing to sit in front of me and study my expressions- to predict what your enemy is thinking and doing.
"Pfft!" I chuckled. Though, I don't think he'd find my very bemused expression satisfactory.
But my amusement was soon cut short. A cold, sharp object was pressed against my neck. My fingers trembled, but I had to remain calm.
"I didn't fail Love's father." Desya insisted. A strong smell of anger filled the room.
"How pretentious of you, Mr Desya. Surely, I wouldn't accuse the loyal General of Burke of failing a citizen of a country he helped massacre." I claimed.
"I didn't kill them!" Desya groaned.
Stay calm, Mayang. Stay calm. I can't show fear. Not then, and not now. I can never fall apart. I dug my nails deep into my arm to stop the trembling.
"Ugh!" The man behind me groaned.
His heavy boots dragged on the floor and to the front of me. My eyes watched as the man put a dagger into a holster hung around his waist.
"I didn't know Burke helped Mawrth's invasion. Fuck! I didn't even know Alex died." The man reasoned. He had folded his muscular arms and leaned against the table.
Alex..is that what Love's father is called?
"And yet, when you did, you didn't want to avenge him? Do you even feel angry that Burke killed him? Or is the price of your loyalty so high that you understand Burke's 'cleansing' of Aolenoa?" I questioned.
"Fuck no! My loyalties lie with Aolenoans! But I can't do anything. We have nothing. No resources, no soldiers, no wealth. Heck, we don't even have a land to fight for!" Desya complained.
"Are your perceptions of a Kingdom so low that you think land, soldiers, money and resources makes a Kingdom a Kingdom?" Huffing, I crossed my legs.
"Listen here, Desya. A Kingdom lies neither in its power or wealth. It lies in the people. As long as the people are willing to fight. So is the Kingdom. So long as Love is willing to fight, I am willing to fight." I proudly declared.
A slight redness tinted my cheeks. Realisation hit me quick. Oh my fucking god, that was so cringey. I had to physically restrain myself from barfing. Who'd know that such bullshit could spit out my mouth?
"Ahem. I mean, it's not like we came here pinning all our hopes in Aolenoan's cooperation." I proudly claimed. That's a fucking lie. That was exactly what my plan was relying on.
"H… HAHAHA!" The man guffawed.
Heat rushed up my face. I was pretty sure, just like in cartoons, steam was escaping from my ears.
"W-why are you laughing?" I asked, humiliation evident in my expression.
"HA- You… who'd know a child could spout out words even current Kings and Emperors can't? It's hilarious!" Desya continued his laughter. I clenched my jaw.
"Don't make fun of me! I can't help it. Love trusts me as the Empress. Of course I have to act accordingly!" I grumbled.
The man held his stomach as he continued to laugh. I was past the point of embarrassment. This is just like when you think someone is waving at you, so you wave back. But instead, they were waving at the person behind you. The embarrassment I felt was exactly as the one I'd feel in that scenario. God, I just wanted to melt and disappear off the face of the planet.
After long, torturous minutes of Desya laughing, he finally stopped. Desya raised his sinewy arms. Which, I have to add, looked very tempting. He put them up in front of his chest as if he was surrendering.
"Ok, little miss. I'll join your war." My jaw dropped.
"Huh??? Weren't you all like 'skimpy whore' and 'survival is the best'? What happened?" I asked, taken aback by his 360° change in attitude.
He put his hands down and folded them again.
"Yeah, I said that… But you've convinced me! If you proved to be like the past Emperors of Aolenoa, I would've gutted you here… But, you're different." He reasoned.
I still couldn't process this man's sudden obedience.
"Why do you seem so upset, your highness? Aren't you happy to have a General of your enemy state as an ally?" Desya continued.
"I mean, yeah. Of course, I'm delighted but this is so sudden. I mean, I don't even know you? General- you said General, right?" I babbled, my previous calm demeanour washed by my flustered state.
"Yes, your highness. I was personally appointed the Major General by the King's General." Desya answered.
"But the massacre happened so recently and the Aolenoans moving to Burke weren't too long either. How could you have ranked up so swiftly?" I asked.
"I was one of the frontmen for Burke's army. If I were to guess, it would be my war experience that got me picked. Considering I'm a commoner, Burke must have assumed my loyalty lies with my employer and not with my heart." I nodded my head as I processed his words.
My head rested against the palm of my hand, my elbow balancing against the meagre space on the arm of the chair. God, this is giving me a headache. Desya addressing me as 'your highness' is also not helping to soothe my growing migraine.
"So now your loyalty lies with us?" I asked again, just to be sure.
"Of course, your highness." He confirmed.
"Ok, ok. I have one more question." I continued.
"Do I really look like a 'skimpy whore'?" I closed my eyes, preparing for a painfully honest 'yes'.
"Other may think so since most Circens are prostitutes. But, I don't really have such a prejudice, your highness." I opened my eyes. Circens?
"Circens?" I asked.
"Yeah, didn't your highness's mother ever tell you?" Desya asked.
I only stared at him blankly. He probably thought I was staring at him because my mother died or some sad shit, but honestly, I was just thinking about how I could lie my way out of his question.
"My apologies, your highness. I didn't mean to-" Desya's eyebrows lowered and met each other.
"Circens are a rare race of people. Most of them are women. Since they have such dazzling red hair and beautiful features, it made work of any kind impossible because of their beauty. And living in seclusion is difficult for them anyway since Men never leave their kind alone. Men all over the world would kidnap them, kill their husbands, rape their children- It's a nightmare to be a Circen. The only other choice they have to survive is to be an escort, prostitute or mistresses to wealthy men. However, the latter is usually rare. Because of the reputation of being with a Circen." Desya explained.
I sighed. That would explain the soldiers' behaviour after noticing my hair. Lord, why did I reincarnate in such a difficult body?
"Is there a park or somewhere I can walk? I need some space and time to digest all… this." I shake my head, straightening my posture.
"There's a forest just south of this house but… It's dangerous, your highness." Desya warned.
"It's fine. I'll run back here if I see anyone. Anyway, nothing dangerous will happen to me." God wouldn't allow it.