"Whatever, Ericka. I do not care what you think about me but just make sure to not do anything stupid especially towards Jeff and Ed. They have nothing to do about how twisted your mind is." I warned her harshly.
I do not want anything bad to happen to my new found friends. I rarely make friends. I have built a rigid wall around my heart since I was young. I never allowed anyone to be close to me. I guess it was because I was abandoned at such an early age. At first I thought everyone that was nice to me loves me. Well, I was taught a really tough lesson after what happened with the stuffed toy. After that I was only able to trust Bryanna and her parents. I learned to trust them after that incident. The Helena Smith that everyone know now, I owe it to them. They gave me the acceptance and love that I needed. They opened their homes for me without expecting anything in return. I miss them so much.
I also placed my trust in him. He was the love of my life. Aside from the family that I have known, he was the first to accept me for who I really am. I bared my soul to him. Not even bothering to leave some for myself. I have loved him beyond all reason. And the backlash of that intense love and trust sent me to the darkest time of my life.
Now, I like both Ed and Jeff and being with them, I have to admit makes me feel safe. Especially, Ed. He gives off this comforting vibe towards me that I am needing right now. Especially during those times that I feel like someone is watching me. Which happens a lot since I have been working here in EasyLanguages. After what I have been through, I am just learning to trust again and I do not want anything to ruin this second chance that I was given.
"Ha! And what are you going to do about it? If I really decide to make things a tad difficult for the three of you?" she challenged.
"I do not care if you make things difficult for me. But just make sure to target me. Do not even think of getting into Jeff's and Ed's way. I will not let it rest if you do." I reiterated.
"Wow! Such a fierce kitten. Let me tell you this, Helena. I have gone through so many things just to get to this level. And by saying so many things, I mean things that even you could not imagine happening to me given with the way I behave. But yes, I have gone through those and I will not submit myself to the same course again." she said while her eyes were showing darkness that I have to admit I can not even begin to compete with. The look in her eyes made me shudder. It made me realize that Ericka is not someone I can afford to mess with or I might end up seriously hurt or damaged.
"I guess we both have been through a lot. And we both are not willing to go back to where and what we were before. That makes us a little bit similar. But what we differ from each other is that, I do not have to threaten people around me if they are competing against me. I know myself. And I know that if I really want to, I will make it with or without you messing with my life." I said trying to sound brave when I do not feel brave at all. She managed to shake me and my conviction that I will be alright.
She smiled. A smile that sent a shiver down my spine. A smile that told me that she will do everything to make things difficult for me. A smile that could get one a one way ticket to a mental asylum. This is not going to be easy, flashed through my mind. She scares me. I have to admit that. She does. Its not easy for me to admit that. She really is going to do something to me. But what really scares me the most is if she really tries to harm Ed and Jeff. And Ashton too.
What the heck, Helena! Stop worrying about Ashton. He does not give a damn about you.
"Please, Ericka. Whatever misunderstanding there is between us, I believe we can talk about it. It is not too late to talk about it, isn't it?" I pleaded. My fright making docile. I have to protect my new self and new friends with all my might. Even if that means that I have to negotiate with the devil himself.
"What a sudden change!" she exclaimed. "Earlier you were like a lioness defending her cubs. Now you are no more than a kitten who is trying to scratch a tiger. Huh!" she spat. "Is that how you managed to capture the attention of those men?"
"Look Ericka, I do not want trouble. I also do not want to cause trouble to others but I am not going back down if either Jeff and Ed gets hurt." I was feeling desperate.
No matter how hard I rack my brains I still cannot find a good and reasonable reason for her to despise me. I guess one can never comprehend the mental workings of a psychopath. My mind is urging me to pacify her anger.
"What do you want from me? What do you want me to do?" I asked quietly. Despair evident in both my face and voice. I have to protect both men.
"Nothing. Just wait. Trouble, and I mean trouble is coming your way. And there is nothing you can do about it." she said menacingly and walked out of the room.
I dejectedly followed her. I can feel despair and panic clawing at me. I shook myself. I tried to dispense the ominous feeling that is trying to break free. If I give in to this feeling, I might flee again. I do not want to do that anymore. I am done with hiding.