Once the trouble was cleared up, Ervius and I came outside the terrace.
"….."
I couldn't look at him in the face.
"….."
Ervius fell silent along with my pause.
I apologized to him.
"I am sorry, for going without any notice…", I said.
He is still silent.
"I-I hope this doesn't happen again in the future.", he replied in cold tone.
It was exactly as I expected. His kind attitude disappeared like a bubble in the air.
I said to him, "I don't even want to go there because I wanted to…"
But then he replied.
"So, someone dragged you here?"
In my anger, I shouted at him.
"IT IS NOT MY CHOICE THAT I GET DRAGGED IN YOUR WORLD!!! I feel lonely and afraid here, yet you are not there. I guess, I chose someone who is heartless as you! You don't like me either, right? Just say it!"
There are many people in that feast who despised me for being different. As he reached his hand out, I stepped back.
"I thought if we got a little closer, I would not regret choosing you. But I guess I was wrong.", I said.
He took a step closer. But I step backwards. He stared at me, but I couldn't take it anymore. I decided to run because it was too painful. I don't want to hear his lies.
I feel terrible, I didn't return to my room. It was also raining outside. I was soaked, my dress and shoes are dirty.
"Ugh! Why does it have to be me?"
As I try to close my eyes, I heard footsteps.
When I held my face up, it was Ervius.
He offered me an umbrella, but instead I avoided him again.
In my mind, I felt sorry for him. But I just can't face him. No, not today.