Recently, I've been cherishing every moment of my life because there hasn't been a single day where I will get bored unless it's Claude's rantings—He always rants about Clara.
I found an interesting person with a quite complex and funny personality. If I only knew at first, I shouldn't have held a grudge against him. I'm always overtaken by emotions, which is the thing I want to change about myself.
Claude would be my first ever friend that I'm really close with because I'm the type of person who's wary of everyone around me, especially against the males in general.
Growing up, Father would always warn me of how I shouldn't trust any male or creating a false analogy in my head. Obviously, I believe everything that Father said to me since he's my father. It's my job to listen to any words of my parents. However, Mother's words are contradicting on Father's belief of all men are wolves despite him being one.
In the end, my father's words came true that cause my views on everyone around me to change. That night, I was actually chatting with some of the girls of my age. Then I met this cute girl, a human girl, she was polite and kind to me. Her name was Silvia. The thing that stood out was her beautiful silver hair and dark red eyes.
I took a liking to her.
However, I didn't expect her to be the person who will lure me into my ordeal. The person who turned my world upside-down; the one who made my life miserable; the one who broke my trust and mind.
After that horrific event, I became wary of people around me even my own family—The only person who stayed by my side during those days was Mother. She's my light and protector; the current guardian of the Askar Kingdom. A person whom I admire the most.
I miss her...
I miss her touch and the warmth she gives to me.
I miss everything about her.
Her smile.
Her affectionate eyes.
Her soothing voice.
Her caring love.
I miss you, mother.
'Past is just a memory. Shackling oneself into it would hinder creating a bright future. Accept what's already done and learn from it.'
I want to live in the past.
Where mother...
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"Claude! Let's go to the shopping district! I want to buy something!"
"Mhmm... Later, I want to sleep more..."
From the looks of it, he needs more than shaking his body. By making my hands cold, I grab his head and press my hands against his cheeks, completely waking him up.
"Eeek—! Waah—! So cold—! What are you doing—!" Claude shrieked.
"Wake up, I need someone to carry my shopping bags."
"Why do I need to carry your bags? I'm not your errand boy. Go carry it yourself, I have better things to do."
"Like what?"
"Like... Cleaning the mansion."
"Clara always cleans the mansion by herself, every single day, and you know that. Better think a more reasonable excuse, so get your ass up and let's go."
"Fine... Why am I getting treated like this?"
"Because you owe me for protecting your chastity; basically, I saved your life from Clara."
"Fine! Let me get dressed up."
Claude sighed in defeat.
Whenever he does that, there's a feeling inside my chest that was fulfilled like a sense of accomplishment and triumph over Claude. After Claude dressed up, he accompanied me into the shopping district.
I've been fascinated by the wonderful dresses in one of the shops that I visited last time.
Obviously, every time we would go to the shopping district. We will wear a mask.
Master Irene strictly told us to wear masks whenever we leave the mansion. I asked Claude about that, but his response was a bit lackluster. "We need to avoid getting attention.". The response does make sense since we're both good-looking people, but that doesn't answer the question at all.
Claude has been acting odd as of lately. He would turn off the television whenever I arrive. I seldom watch television, but whenever I use it, he will only put it on specific channels.
I heard from Clara that Claude sometimes needs quiet time for his ritual. And, I don't what kind of ritual that is, but she explained it's an activity of a pubescent male. To which I concluded, it must be correlated to something stupid.
For the past few months, I learned how to broaden my views in understanding people around me. Master Irene and Claude gave me insightful thoughts of how one's attitude could benefit others and especially to me. Being entitled to others would affect me and my kingdom because I represent the Askar kingdom; thus, it's my duty as royalty to not taint the name of my kingdom.
I want to establish a powerful image of myself in front of others. I want them to understand that I'm a force to reckon with. But instead, I'm just being full of myself and became this arrogant princess.
But, upon witnessing the outrage of Claude after the sparring and the talk with Master Irene, I came to a realization that the world won't ever revolve around me.
Then there's this time where I apologized to Claude because of my own ignorant, selfish attitude. I only did that because of Master Irene's warning, so I obediently followed Master Irene's warning and went to his room to apologize. At first, I thought that he would easily forgive me for what I did, but instead, he yelled some hurtful words at me.
It honestly hurt me.
I didn't expect that to happen at all, so I became emotional about it went out of his room with tears falling on my face. Because of that, I contacted my father via a magic stone that can let me communicate from far away. However, after telling him, he apologized and scolded me for the first time.
"Sorry, Lily. I'm sorry. But, what you did is totally wrong. I'm sorry for spoiling you."
Father then tells me the story behind Claude Belmont, the "Abandoned Child of the Belmont Family". After telling his story, a dreadful sensation enveloped inside my chest. He lived through all of that by himself, despite everything. If I'm in his situation, I can't say the same. Because of that, my chest was filled with guilt. Not only I almost killed him, but I also belittled him. It's to be expected for Claude to not accept my apology.
I'm a self-centered person.
I'm not a person who thinks about others.
I'm the complete opposite of Mother.
How can I even protect my own kingdom if I don't even understand the people around me? I'm nothing but a joke.
If I only understood that sooner.
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At the store, I'm in the dressing room, trying on different dresses.
"Hey, Claude. What do you think about this?"
"It's good."
"Why are your responses so dull?"
"What? What do you want me to say? They all look good on you. They look sexy and arousing." Claude gave me a thumbs up.
I could feel my face burning up behind the mask, but I didn't let it show on my actions as I maintain my composure in front of him.
Claude doesn't hold back on anything he says, even if it's embarrassing. I don't know what kind of brain he got to be able to say those kinds of things nonchalantly.
He's an airhead.
After shopping, we head out to eat lunch, but as we're about to head our way. I saw the image of my father in the newspaper in a stall, so I took the newspaper and read the news regarding my father.
It states. The king of the hidden kingdom Askar is currently hiding his daughter for killing William Valentine the son of Willford Valentin, a higher bureaucrat from the Krishna Council.
Kill?
Holding the newspaper, my hands are quivering in fright.
I'm at fault?
All over the newspaper, it says that I'm a merciless murderer.
Murderer.
The mana inside me goes into turmoil which resulted in breaking my mask, revealing my face to everyone. Behind me, someone crumples the newspaper that I'm reading it. I glance at the one who crumpled it. It was Claude. Suddenly, I heard someone spoke with a surprised tone.
"Hey! Isn't that Princess Lily the rumored who killed the bureaucrat's son?"
"Oh yeah! She is!"
"Wow, I didn't expect her to hide in the city. I thought she'll be hiding behind her father."
"A murderer."
"Killer."
Once I revealed my face, it caused an uproar from the people around me. They're all looking at me with disgust.
At that moment, I couldn't breathe and a lump was stuck in my throat, suffocating me. I can hear my heart pounding violently.
Help...
I don't know if it's was tears coming from my eyes or if it was my sweat.
I'm the one at fault.
I'm the one who caused all of this.
A protector... A guardian...
I'm the one who did all of these.
I'm just a murderer.
Because of me...
Out of the blue, the entire surrounding went into silence. The strong pressuring bloodlust was suffocating everyone. Then all the people who spoke earlier had a spear floating, pointing at their necks.
"Shut up! I'll kill everyone single of you if you don't shut up!"
While looking at them, Claude removes his mask to put it on mine. Then he smiles at me. "It's going to be fine."
After he said that, everything around me darkens.